Half a Heart (One Direction)

She's long dead. It's been four years and I thought I had moved on until I met.....another her.


3. School Fair & Sky Lanterns

September 6, 2012

Three days after the day at the amusement park, things hadn't been the same. I was back to my old self---or more accurately, to my quiet self. 

After calming down I had fallen asleep on Harry's shoulder (which meant I didn't get to watch the fireworks). It felt quite nice to release all the weight inside me. When we reached our house, the lads gave Peyton their numbers so we could contact them, not that I even wanted to. Charlie on the other hand got very close with Liam. They talk non stop over the phone. They even skyped each other which I find very creepy. Surely he's not gay right? I mean, I'm pretty sure boys' conversations doesn't last for two hours. And I'm pretty sure boys don't Skype each other, if so then rarely. It's like a bro code or something.

"Mackenzie. What's wrong? You said a week ago that you'd try. You were doing great the past few days but now you're like that again." Peyton said not able to contain herself. I had promised her a week ago that I would try be bubbly again. That I would try not to be depressed. I was doing great alright. If Harry didn't say those things, I probably would be even better, but he did. And I couldn't let him get to me. I couldn't let him get attached to me. When Simon first told us that we're going on tour with his other band, I was pretty less ecstatic. For the past 17 years, I learned that there's nothing permanent in this world. People lose interest me and they always get tired of me. It happens every time. It's like they don't even bother hitting me up anymore. The conversations becomes shorter and they forget about me. I feel like I've become just a distant memory. Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault but then I realized that people never stay. They always come and go. And that there's nothing I could do about it. That's why I distance myself from the people. I would have fun with them and I'd talk to them but not too much to the point that I would actually miss them. It wasn't hard back in school since it's a wide campus, ignoring people would be easy but touring with these guys has become a completely different story. Harry knows I'm hiding something and he's definitely going to bother me about it.

"I'm just tired of faking it. I'm tired of trying to be happy when I'm not. If you think this will be good for me then you're wrong." I told her. We were at the living room doing scripts for Charlie's sister, Anna's play. 

"Let her be Peyton. She's right. If she has to move on, she needs to do it in her own way. If we force her to do something, we'll just make things worse"  Charlie said. I was grateful that he understands I just needed to be alone.

"Charlie's right. Besides, she's still a crazy kid when it comes to us." Zack commented while playing UNO with Anna and Nick.

"You should relax Peyton. It's only been three months since it happened. She'll be back to Crazy Mackenzie before you know it." Nick said, standing up from the floor. 

"I can't believe you guys." Peyton stood up from the couch and walked towards her room. She closed it with a thud.

"You know Mackenzie, Peyton is just worried about you. She's you sister after all. Just try to understand her okay?" Nick said. 

"Since when did you become a touchy talker?" I replied.

Nick just grinned and said "Now up you guys, the tour bus will be here in a few hours so finish your packing. We still need to finish the script and bring Anna home so chop chop" 

I swear I just don't understand him sometimes.


The tour bus came at around twelve. It was bigger than most tour bus. In front was a mini living room, a mini kitchen and a mini bathroom. Yes, everything is mini. Farther down the aisle were the bunk beds. After it was like a playing room. On the far end was the room Peyton, Melissa (our stylist) and I got to share. Melissa is very close to us. She's practically like our mother.

Peyton had not said a word to me since this morning. She's still angry about the whole me changing thing. While I spend my time inside the room, she was spending hers with the boys and the staffs.

Just as I had predicted, Harry wouldn't stop bothering me. He's not asking why I cried that night though, he's trying to actually befriend me. But just like Peyton, I didn't say a word to him, not even a single syllable. Niall also tried to talk to me. He might have gotten the wrong idea of me befriending him. It was just for revenge, nothing more. I was going to ignore him once the dare is done.

The other One Direction members didn't talk to me, nor did I talk to them. Nick probably told them I wasn't myself right now so they kept their distance. 

I thought Harry would stop after hours of trying to talk to me. I thought he got tired because I suddenly gave him a silent treatment, but boy was I wrong. 

At dinner we pulled a stop to a small village. They went to a local restaurant that's quite famous in that area. I decided to stay, telling them I wasn't hungry. I was reading Percy Jackson and the lightning thief when Harry barged in my room. "We're going out" he declared pulling my hand. 

"Hey! Where are you taking me?! I thought I told you I didn't want to go."I demanded. 

"I've been wanting to hear that voice. If I knew this was the only way to get you to talk to me, I would have done this sooner." he grinned feeling accomplished. We were outside the bus and Harry dragged me on the left side of the road.

"If that's what you want then fine! I'm talking. Now let's get back to the bus" I said pulling myself away from him but he tightened his grip.

"Oh no, that's not the only reason I dragged you. We're going on a trip." His grin got wider and I have a feeling this is going to be a long night.


"This sushi is amazing! Don't you think so?" Harry exclaimed. He said that I shouldn't let my worries affect my diet so he took me to a sushi bar that was so far from where the bus was parked. If we ever get lost, I'd blame Harry. I couldn't even remember how many times we've turned. I just nodded and continued eating. It tastes good all right, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction that I enjoyed it.

"Where do you want to go next? The night is still young, we could do a lot of things" he said.

"Shouldn't we go back to the bus?" I stated. 

"Don't worry. I told them we would be back by nine. It's only seven. We still have an hour to do things. By eight, I have things planned out. Come on, don't be such a kill joy" he pouted. I hate it when he does that. Is there a law about boys not pouting? 'Cause if there is, I'm taking this boy to jail.

"And they agreed?" I asked before drinking a soda.

"Yes?" He asked more than said. 

"I'm not talking about one direction or false alarm. I meant Paul" I gave him a stern look.

"Not exactly. I technically didn't ask him" 

"What? Shouldn't the bus be leaving by now?" I replied. We were supposed to eat dinner and leave by seven. This was definitely off the schedule. 

"Well it wouldn't if we weren't there" he send me a cheeky smile causing me to roll my eyes.

"I'm calling Paul" I declared, pulling my phone out. He grabbed it before I could even unlock it.

"Come on, this might be the only night we'll get to relax. The next ones will all revolve around concerts and signings. Do me this one favor." he pouted again. He did make a good point on that one. Ugh, I can't believe this guy. Just three days ago I promised I wouldn't let someone get close to me, but now I'm not so sure. Am I bipolar or what? This boy is making me crazy. 

"Fine. As long as you stop pouting. It's annoying really." I stood up from my seat and headed towards the door. He followed and walked beside me.

"That's not true! My pout is so famous with the girls you know." I have a hard time believing that. 

Harry insisted that we take the bus. Not the tour bus but an actual bus. There were a few people inside. We made ourselves comfortable on the seats at the far end. I don't know what's up with him or why on earth he is doing this. I also don't have the slightest clue where we are going.

Harry suddenly stood up from his seat. He walked and stood in front of everyone in the bus. Before I could ask him what the hell he is doing, he started singing the national anthem.

While singing, he started doing a funny dance. The people look entertained. Maybe because they think Harry is a retard or something. Whatever the reason was, the people looked happy. There seems to be something delighting about this village, as if they were all an optimist. They were good to people, strangers even. Back in the sushi bar, I noticed how calm and peaceful the villagers were. I noticed how they would give some of their meals to the homeless. If I had the chance, I would love to live in this place.

I couldn't help suppressing a laugh. I would have literally banged my fist and roll on the floor laughing at how funny Harry looked but I wasn't going to do it in front if them. Harry finished the song and bowed telling everyone "It's nice to meet you my lord, my master." he even high-fived some of them in which they gladly returned. He took a seat beside me and I had the urge to cover my face and tell everyone that I didn't know him.

The bus pulled to a stop and woman who appears to be around 20 years old entered with a young girl that couldn't be more than seven. They took a seat in front of us. The little girl suddenly cried and it caught everyone's attention. The woman tried to hush her down but it was no use. 

I didn't know if he as doing it for good publicity (not that the people here even acknowledge him as famous) or it was really just his nature to help and bring happiness to people but what Harry did brought a genuine smile to my face. 



It was fifteen minutes past seven when we got off the bus. Harry had taken me to a school fair.  Why do I always find myself in a place full of fun? First was the amusement park and now this. I'm surrounded by people who are having a great time. They say surround yourself by people who make you happy, not by people who are having fun. Harry seems to have misinterpreted it. Besides, I hate school fairs. 

I took a seat at a bench close by. Harry said he'd be back in a second. When he did, he was holding two ice creams. He gave me the other one and said " I heard ice creams are a good anti-depressant"

"Thanks, I guess." I took it from him. He sat beside me and we ate in silence. After finishing our ice creams we strolled through a number of booths. There were a lot of foods that seemed foreign to me. I wanted to try them but I wasn't going to ask Harry to buy them for me. We continued walking until Harry bolted to a stopped. I looked at him and noticed he was looking at something. I averted my gaze and saw that it was a marriage booth. How ridiculous. This is why I hate school fairs, because of the marriage booth. It was the start of something good to me, but also the end of what seemed to be my only happiness. I rolled my eyes and tugged Harry but he didn't move an inch. He looked at me and flashed a mischievous grin. 

"Oh no. No. No. And no. Sorry, wrong number. I'm not doing it" I said and walked away. No, not again. 

"Come on let's try it." He walked pass me and blocked my way. I folded my arms and gave him an icy glare. 

"I said I don't want to." I gritted my teeth. He looked confused for a moment. I couldn't blame him. He must have been wondering why it upsets me too much. 

"It's okay. There are still a lot of things that we could enjoy." He lead the way and tried almost every booth (except the marriage booth of course). I was glad that he didn't push the subject. I should be getting annoyed at how close Harry is getting to me, but for some reason, I'm not. I've only been with him for two days and yet, he'd already changed a lot about me. He seems to be an exemption on my trust issues, of my getting attached problems, of everything. What is his intentions exactly? 

As if reading my mind, he answered "You know, the reason I'm doing this, is because I became just like you, once." He smiled. "Come on, it's almost eight. Let's go" he pulled me again and this time, I didn't pulled back.

Harry took me to the lake near the fair. I didn't know what he had in my mind, bringing me here. When we moved closer, I noticed that there was a boat. It wasn't anything special, the same old kind made of wood. Harry stepped in the both and urged me to do the same. I was to ask him why but his face said I shouldn't ask questions so I just followed his order. The next thing I know, we were at the middle of the lake. 

"I know this going to sound cliché but I know you're in a stage of life where you feel like you're in the darkness. And I want you to see the light. The light in your life. That we shouldn't live in past. Try to look on the positive sides of your life. That woman in the bus got raped but look at her, still she managed. Look at the people in this village. They may not get the best in everything, but they are happy. It's because even after all the terrible things that happened, they have someone to help them get back. They are contented. That's why I'm here. To help you. The pain you are feeling right now, it's inevitable but not incurable. I'm not saying to forget all of them at once, just don't dwell on it. It's more fun living in the present Mackenzie." He smiled before turning his head to his right. I followed his gaze And what I saw made me speechless. There, slowly, sky lanterns were lifted up the sky. The were hundreds, no, thousands sky lanterns in the sky. Those little yellows lights brought together, it was breathtaking. So this is what he was waiting for. I heard Harry typing on his phone and before I knew it, "I see the light" is playing. It was a minus one and Harry sang the lyrics. I never imagined in my life that I would be in Rapunzel's shoes. When I watched that scene in Tangled, I wasn't particularly touched. But now, I'm actually experiencing it, I couldn't help but be jealous of her. His words went deep down my heart. 

I realized, he was right. I couldn't change the fact that people will leave me, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't cherish them. As I sat there in front of him, I knew for a fact that I wouldn't able to distance myself. Not anymore. He was irresistible. And I stared at his eyes for the longest time.

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