I have been asking questions for a big part of my life....
Because if Justin.
Where is Justin?
What is he doing?
Where is he moving too?
Is he ok?
Did he even love me?
I was going insane for those years, losing him.
The first guy I fell in love with.
The guy that treated me like such a princess.
I remember how mad I got when Jason called me princess or even ballerina, because Justin use to call me that.
Now that I know Jason is Justin , and Justin is Jason , I'm not as ..... Furious about the names.
I never thought bumping into him, would be like this.
Him kidnapping me, and trapping me in basement.
I never thought he would look the way he did.
Yeah he still was attractive,but me being the good girl I am stays away from bad people like Jason.
Now that I know Justin is like this now, I will just have to accept that Justin is Jason now. Justin is gone forever, and I will never get too love him again.
"Hey."I heard a calm groggy voice say next to me.
I turned my head and looked at him laying down looking up at me.
"Hi." I said.
"Why you just sitting, staring at the wall for 10 minutes" he sat up so he sat next to me.
His body was so warm next to mine.
It was ..... comforting.
"You know... just thinking" I said twirling my fingers trying to avoid those eyes I once fell in love with.
He grabbed my chin gently and made me look him in the eyes.
Can he read my mind?
"Would you like to talk about it." He said clearing his throat after.
I gulped trying to look around but it was like he was staring into my soul.
"No actually not really." I whispered.
Yes, yes I freaking do!
I fell in love with you Justin, and I committed to you! you were my first love! So when you left I cried for days, I was depressed! I lost the most important thing in my damn life! You probably didn't even give a damn about me! Looking at you now I know you obviously have been with a lot of whores since the day you left till today. Now that I see you now I never wished you came into my goddamn life. You are no longer the guy I love, your the guy I hate!
As I ranted In my head I heard him cough awkwardly. I felt a tear roll down my cheek then a couple more.
"I don't know what to say" he spoke randomly.
I looked at him.
"Did I just think out loud?" I said .
I cried more putting my head in my hands.
"I hate you. I hate you . I hate you " I whispered.
"Just let me go!" I screamed with another sob.
"I wanna go home." I sobbed.
He just stared at me.
"Your crying." he said softly.
"OH REALLY!"I screamed at the top of my lungs.
I put my face back into my hands,
I hate my life....
I felt his prescience disappear next to me.
I felt his hands grab my hands that where laid on my face.
I swatted him away.
"Don't touch me" he sobbed.
He grabbed my hands pulling them away from my face with his strength ,he stared me in the face.
"Let go"u tried pulling away angrily.
He raised his eyebrow, he looked kind of guilty.
But maybe that's his look of "I don't give a fuck".
"Please just let me go"I put my head down.
I put my lips in my mouth to hold in my sobs.
He let go of my hands and grabbed my face gently.
I jerked instantly but he was of course stronger than me.
He looked me in the eyes.
He wiped ever tear streaming down my face with his soft thumb.
"Ok Ok I'm fucking sorry!" He randomly spat.
He took his hands away and stood in from of me.
He started to pace back in forth, pulling at his hair.
"I'm going to tell you " He said.
"Tell me what?" I whispered.
"Everything." He said.
"God dammit why do I feel like I'm gonna fucking regret this." he whispered.
He paced more around the room.
"I need to pinch something." He suddenly spat.
"I'm just so angry right now." He spat.
"Why would you be angry." I spat.
"Because I have to tell you everything, And that makes me fucking angry." he spat.
"Not at you, at myself." He spat.
Suddenly he stared at the mirror and punched right at it and it broke into millions of pieces.
I jumped at his sudden movements.
"ah fuck" he hissed.
I stood up and pulled him away from the glass.
"Justin where is your aids ?" I asked .
"In my bathroom" he hissed sitting down where I was.
I run in his bathroom and look threw his medicine cabinets. I found his aid kits and ran back into the room next to his side.
"It's gonna be ok,I'm not gonna die."he said.
"Justin it can be infected,then you can die." I spat.
He closed his mouth in defeat.
"This might sting."I put the cleaning solution on his cuts.
He didn't wince one but he just stood there looking at me.
Once I cleaned up his hand and bandage it.
I cleaned up the mess I made and put everything back to where it was.
I walked back into the bedroom and saw he was looking at me.
His sad eyes cried for help.
It was like I read him.
"Justin I just don't-"
He cut me of instantly.
"I didn't leave you because I hated you. I didn't leave because I wanted other girls. I left because I wanted to get away from there" he spoke strongly.
I closed my mouth.
"I wanted to get away from the death of my parents..." he spoke less strong.
"T-They died... what about your siblings... J-Justin why didn't you tell me! I can't believe this is-"
"You think I was strong enough to tell you?" He spat.
I looked down at my feet.
"I was scared." He spat.
"Oh and my siblings.... there somewhere with a nice family. I can't see them, because if I do i will have to tell there innocent little faces that I'm a cold hearted asshole that likes killing people to mourn for my parents death that happened right in front if my damn face." He spoke.
I looked at him.
"Justin I-I didn't know " I spoke.
"Yeah because I didn't tell you, My fucking bad" he spat sarcastically.
"No no , you have every right to hide that."I spoke.
He shook his head running his hands over his face.
"That's why I went to Atlanta,changed my name, my look, everything. I came back to Toronto and met those fellas downstairs, and now were in the most dangerous gang in Toronto. to think maybe in all of Canada" he spoke.
"Justin did you even love me?" I asked randomly.
"What kind of fucking question is that?" he spat.
I closed my mouth hitting my lip.
"Why would you think I took you ,and won't let you go" he said.
"Cause I finally found you, and now I wanna love you again"he spoke sternly.
"I thought you were Jason, and Jason doesn't fall in love with anyone, He hates people." I said.
"To them I'm Jason,to you I'm Justin" He said.
Another chapter!!! I Feel like it sucks ass
And I tried to make it long to so.
Ok love you comment and vote please it really helps! That's for 100 reads!!
Thanks Readers :)
Love you XoXo.