It's been a full week since the party and I have been avoiding Luke at all costs but with a sprained ankle and having school with him- it's not as easy as it seems. Lunch is the worst though… It's like every other school I went to, alone in a corner table. I shouldn't be upset by this because I should be used to it but I guess since I have been with the guys everyday, I kinda got used to sitting with them. I feel bad though because every time Mikey, Calum or Ashton would try to talk to me I would just look down and not say anything until they would walk away. I don't wanna seem mean but I also don't wanna talk to any of them because I know that if I do, I will wanna talk to Luke and that's not an option for me right now. I shouldn't have even gotten involved with him in the first place but now my mom is mad at me. Tells me I need to stop being childish and make up with Luke and the guys because I am acting all depressed and it's annoying her- thought I don't see how I am acting now is any different from how I would act when we lived anywhere else because I didn't have any friends in any of the other places.
A part of me knows that my mom is right and I know that I need to apologize to Luke for acting like a crazy bitch to him when he did absolutely nothing wrong- then the other part of me doesn't want to because I was an idiot and let myself like him more than a friend and I was the one who got hurt. Not him. I was the idiot who let myself get careless. He doesn't have those feeling for me and can do as he pleases so I don't know why I thought for a second that maybe he did.
WIth it being a full week since the party, I have been kept up in the house after school and each day I would stare out my window, while doing my homework, and look over at Luke's house. Every time I would look over I would see him and the guys laughing and messing around but Luke didn't look the same- He would sometimes look mad or upset. Probably because I was being a bitch and wouldn't let him or the guys talk to me- The guys never did anything though- maybe I should talk to them.
I picked up my phone and called Ashton because I was closest with him right after Luke and none of them where over there right now anyways.
"Hello?" he answered, obviously a tad bit confused.
"Hey, Ashton?" I asked making sure it was him.
"Are you home?"
"Yeah, why? Whats up?"
"Can you come over? I need someone to talk to…"
"Umm- yeah I can just tell Luke and the guys-"
"No! I- can you just come over and we talk but not let everybody else know? I kinda wanna have a private and personal conversation-"
"Yeah, sorry I can be there in a minute."
"Thanks," I say before ending the call.
After the phone call, Ashton was at my house within 5 minutes. He wasn't kidding when he said he would be here in a minute. When he knocked on my door I answered it, we said our hellos then went up to my room because I don't want my mom questioning why I have a guy, that isn't Luke, in the house.
"So, what's going on?" he asked sitting on my desk's chair.
I went and sat on the end of my bed, "I just wanna know what is going on with Luke because this whole fucked up situation is really getting to me-"
"Well, what do you wanna know?"
"Ashton, you are the person I am most closest with besides Luke and I have no clue what the hell is actually going on."
"Okay, tell me what happened at the party?"
"We got to the party, you guys went off and did your thing, Luke asked me if I wanted a drink, I said sure, he went to go get one for me, I waited for him for about 10 minutes till I went to go look for him. When I couldn't find him anywhere on the main floor, i went looking upstairs and in the bedrooms. I opened the last bedroom door and I saw Luke on top of another girl. He looked up and saw me and I ran. He chased after me and caught up to me when I fell and sprained my ankle and I wouldn't let him explain then he kissed me and I pushed him off me and told him to just help me to my house because it was right there- and I haven't talked to him or you guys since then…"
"So, let me get this straight. You found Luke in bed with another girl, ran, wouldn't let him explain himself, he kissed you and you pushed him off you and told him to help you to your house? Is that pretty much it?"
"Why did he kiss you?"
"I said, 'I shouldn't have let myself like you.' And he cut me off by kissing me-"
"Then you pushed him off of you?"
"Yeah? I mean, what was I supposed to do?"
"Kiss back? Maybe? I don't know?"
"I'm not gonna kiss him back after he was just about to have sex with a girl at the party-"
"But do you know why?"
"Do you know how Luke feels about you?"
"No but I-"
"Kare, Luke really cares about you… He has been a complete mess this week with you not talking to him-"
"Ashton, every time I see him he is smiling or laughing with you guys-"
"He puts on an act in front of us because last time he got hurt in a relationship he was upset for weeks and when he finally moved one, you showed up and now he doesn't know what to do because he really likes you and something happened and now you are gone- how would you be coping with it? I mean you have been sitting in your house for a week now not even bothering to make and effort to talk to Luke, why?"
"… I don't wanna get hurt- I really freaking like him and-"
"And he likes you too…"