"If you want me to help you, then let me listen...Talk to me...No one knows...Ok? Please...I can help...No! Leave them alone...I'll find it...I promise..." Snatches of Nirvana's muffled voice drifted through the thin, wooden door. I wondered if she was on the phone, because I could only hear a one sided discussion.
Letting my fist fall onto the door, I thought hopefully, hopefully, I was the one who could hold more than a minute of talking without either one of us to drift off, and walk away from the other person. Hopefully.
Nirvana opened the door, eyes glazed over, and looking-and smelling-like she hadn't seen a bath or shower for a few days. She had dark, purple, swollen circles under her eyes, enlarged pupils, and bloodshot surrounded irises that seemed as if they could do with a couple of eye drops once in a while. And when had her middle become so big?
"What do you want, Ryder?" Nirvana prompted me, forcing me to listen to the obvious contempt positively dripping from her tone. "I was just-coming to see if you were-ok?" I said slowly, doubting if she gave me an answer at all, it wouldn't be the truth.
"Yea. No. I'm-good. Can you go now?" I stood there, stunned, at there monotone, blatant tone that she used on me. Shaking my head, I pushed past her, but unbelievably, she started to shove and shout and scream at me to get out of her room!
Finally, I managed to squeeze past her, but not before I managed to get small bruises where Nirvana had tried to get me out of her room.
"What's going on Nirvana? You've gotten so distance, and-and it scares me. Scares us. The only person you ever seem to talk to, is Billy. The thing you ever seem to do is read that bloody diary, or, or-or close yourself up where no one can reach you! What happened? We used to talk-all the time. Now, it's like this. We have the all the small talk, but nothing like we used to. I hate it. Will we ever go back to the way it was?"
Dropping down onto her desk chair, I took a shaky breath to stop myself from-from crying. I rubbed a hand over my stubbly chin, and span back round on the spinny chair, only to find Nirvana wiping her long sleeved t-shirt over her too shiny, shimmering red eyes. Her nose and cheeks had started to flame, confirming what I thought. Things were never going to be the same again.
Standing, I stretched my arms out to give Nirvana one last hug, before-well, whatever this was that we were doing.
It all happened so quickly after that. Nirvana's eyes, widening, me looking confused, and then the girl-the girl-who I'd seen in the garden, face looming, startlingly close to mine, dirty and pretty, which only magnified how pretty she was under all that mud. Then, darkness.