It's been 2 weeks since your death. Lulu and Mia thought it would be good if I went to a therapist. Her name is Dr. Ludkhannah- German obviously- she gave me a journal to right my thoughts in. Every Monday I come back in and give her my journal so she can read it. It feels weird you know. Her reading my thoughts. Most of my thoughts are about you so I understand. The one thought that keeps running threw my head is the day that I found you...
I woke up hoping to smell the scent of your strawberry hair wash. I turned over and the bed was empty. I laid there for a moment waiting to her your lovely singing voice like every morning when your in the shower but I heard nothing. It was quiet, to quiet for you to be awake. I got out of bed and tip toed out to the hall, still I heard nothing. It was as if you weren't even here.
I went down the stairs expecting you to be eating cereal while catching up on your studying in the kitchen. But again nothing. I began to wonder if you left. If you thought I wasn't worthy of your love.
I walked into the living room and I wasn't ready for what I saw. I didn't know what to do except to call '9-1-1' They arrived in a matter of minutes. I called Lulu and Mia. Mia burst out into tears. She saw her own cousin being taken away in a body bag.
Lulu drove us to the hospital. I was to shaken up to cry or to yell or to do anything. When we arrived to the hospital you were wheeled away into a room. I got out the car feeling the cool October breeze blow threw my dark brown hair. I knew you were gone the minute I saw your body. I wished we had more time.
The doctors told us the obvious and allowed us to see you. You brown hair still smelled as sweet as it did the day before. Your beautiful face looked so peaceful.
You laid there not moving. I expected you to move at least once but you didn't budge. Tears began to flow down my rosey cheeks. I lost you when I needed you the most.