I placed a origami cat with the swan,dog,sword,ninja star,fish and lion. I sighed this is all I really have to do. I have multiple sketches and stories piled on the shelf across from the beds. I stared at the door when will he be back he knows I get desperately bored without him, he makes me feel like I'm 8 years old, but I don't mind I just keep reminding my self that he risked his life about 2 years ago to save me and that means everything to me. Yet it bothers me the way he didn't bother to rescue my family he says they were dead when he got there but for some reason I just don't believe it, my mom has always had a system of steel. Whatever I shouldn't question miracles. I heard a familiar knock on the metal door. We did our little routine the,door and the cleaner he placed down the back pack it was full of medicine and food, I cant lie, I was disappointed that there was nothing for me, like more dolls or paint.
"Sorry kid I went around Benside there aren't any arts and crafts stores there" I sighed. "But I did get powder mix mashed potatoes! Your favorite!" I smiled, ya I love them but eventually the get bland but its still best tasting thing he can find.
"Hey, can I come with you on the next scavenge, I know you say its not safe but you go everyday and I've been stuck here for about two whole years, I'm getting kinda claustrophobic down in this hole please Howard." I clutched my hands and used my puppy face on him. He glared at me with a seriously annoyed look.
"No, I only have one gas mask and you could be stolen from me, a man bored finding himself a prized 20 year old girl... no I cant take you with me."
I felt myself about to cry, I know I'm too old for this but I cant help it I feel like a wandering stray dog suddenly put onto a 2 foot chain tied to a strong indestructible stake. I rubbed the soft white scar on my forehead. Howard climbed up to the top bunk and quickly fell asleep, his load obnoxious snoring seem to make the tiny shelter tremble. I sulked over to my bed. I leaned on the wall that the bed was up against. I rested my head atop of my knees and began to cry, the nights are what get to me, my new found claustrophobia, my extreme loneliness, my deathly boredom, my longing for my own family, I mean this isn't life sitting here doing nothing for this strong survivor but eat all his food. I wiped my tears but I couldn't stop crying.
I stared at the backpack by the table, I flopped out the bed and crawled over to it and opened it wide, I pulled out a random bottle of pill and dumped it on to the floor I read the bottle serving: 2 pills, I started crying loader and I guess somehow Howard heard me over is load snoring he climbed down the ladder.
"What are you doing Avaline?" He stared at me worriedly
" I cant stand it, this isn't life stuck having no purpose, devouring a strong important man's food, I just can't I can't" I pulled 9 pills to my mouth but Howard smacked them out.
"Without you I'll be alone, Without you I'd be bored, Without you I'd be stir crazy, If you kill yourself you technically kill me too." I began to cry more knowing I'm completely trapped, I cant even kill my self, this is going to drive me insane.