----------6 Months Ago-------------
"And The Winner of The X factor USA 2013 is.. Hot Mess!" screams everywhere, balloons and things falling.
"So Girls, how do you feel about being the winner?" the announcer asks us.
"Absolutely Great!" Kaitlin answers.
"How about you, Nikki?" the girl announcer asks.
"Great! Its a great honour. Right, DeDe?" Nikki turns to the short brunette, who's jumping up and down, grinning.
"Yep! I cant believe we won!"
"Yea. Its so amazing! We cant explain how happy we are!" Sophie adds in.
I feel the cameras on me, every eye looking, every head turned.
"Jade, You Girls won. How do you feel?"
"I think we wouldn't be able to do it without all the support and hard work. So its really an honour to win." I answer.
Yep, Im in a girl group, Hot Mess is the name of it. Theres Five of us, Kaitlin, Nikki, DeDe, Sophie and Me, Jade.
You'd think we'd be the five best friends but we aren't. They are but they don't like me one bit.
I lean against the wall, watching everyone running around, getting ready for an interview we have.
I fix my bracelets that are covering my arms. I put on my sweater and walk over where the rest of the girls are.
"Please Welcome Hot Mess!" some interviewer announces.
After sitting down, I look out to the crowd. The cameras roll live and the interview starts.
Soon its all over and We're at the hotel.
"Kaitlin! Ohh. Look! One Million Followers!" Nikki giggles.
DeDe and Sophie are watching some scary movie I already saw, while Nikki and Kaitlin were using their laptops and looking at fan things. Im just sitting in a chair in the corner, minding my own business.
I decide to grab my IPod and headphones, putting on some music and close my eyes.
After A little while, I open my eyes and yawn.
DeDe and Sophie left somewhere and Nikki and Kaitlin were sleeping on the bed.
I sneak out of the room and into my hotel room.
Turning on the light, dropping my crap on the floor, I walk over to my messy bed, grabbing my guitar on the way.
Moving over some of the clothes, I sit and strum my guitar. Hearing the sound soothes me. Taking a deep breathe, I grab my laptop and login into twitter.
-50 new Followers-
-200 new mentions-
-10 new DMs-
"Great" I mumble as I click on the create tweet icon.
@JadeRoseLovesMusic: Music holds the keys to my mind, heart and soul. Its the only true best friend anyone could have ❤
I click tweet then go to my mentions. "Shit" I read some of them.
--@HotMessGirl14: I love HotMess❤All except @JadeRoseLovesMusic!! She sucks!
--@GottaLoveHotMess: Eww!! @JadeRoseLovesMusic shouldn't be in the band! Shes ugly and talentless! She ruins the whole band!
--@RyanLovesHM!: I Love Hot Mess! @NikkiFlowers @SophieLynn @DeDeMiller ❤and @ItsKaitlinBaby(: Get. Rid. Of. @JadeRoseLovesMusic
--@DirectionerHM: Get Rid of the ugly bitch who's holding you guys back! @JadeRoseLoves Music needs to go!
I read more and more, each getting worse and worse. Every time I refresh the page, more pop up.
My Brains trying to process all my thoughts. I know I have no fans that like me. I know Im ugly, fat, horrible, talentless..
I slam my laptop down and shove it off of me. Im used to all this hate, so I do it a lot. Im surprised my laptop still works.
I hold my guitar close as a few tears escape. I look at the bathroom door then shake my head. I cant do it. I passed my limit for the week! I look at my picture frame on the night stand, Me and my four best friends posing for my mom two summer ago.
I haven't seen them for over 8 months, but we try to stay in touch. We all auditioned for the X factor as Solos, expect Amber. She didn't feel like it, but she came anyways to cheer me, Tori, Madison and Cheyenne on.
We all made it to boot camp but I was put into a band instead. The rest of the girls got to do it as solos.
In the end, Amber, Cheyenne and Tori decided to just go to Oxford. Madison didn't mind that she didn't win, she did come in 3rd place!
She moved with the rest of the girls and goes to Manchester University for Music and Art. They all share a flat and work near each other.
Everyday, I wish I was in England with them and going to school, being the Nobody I was.
I love Music, Music is my life but not this way.
Several Times, I've wanted to leave the band but Uncle Simon wouldn't let me. He keeps saying they need me but they don't. They never will.
I strum the guitar, still looking at the picture.
Looking closer, I see all of us wearing our Directioner necklaces that we bought each other.
I smile at all the memories, we all had Fangirled over our Favourite Band, One Direction.
My eyes travel back to the bathroom door and I start to tremble, feeling the pull and wanting.
I do the only thing I can think of, I play music.
I strum the first cords to the first song that popped into my head, and start to sing.
"Your Hand Fits into Mine, Like its made just for me. But Bear this in mind, It was meant to be, And Im joining up the dots, with the freckles on your cheek. And it all makes sense to me.."
I look down, tears start rolling down, trying to get free. I continue on, my voice never trembles.
"I know You've never loved the crinkles by your eyes, when you smile. You've never loved your stomach or your thighs. The dimples in your back, at the bottom of your spine but I love them endlessly.."
My hands never miss a beat, my voice never shakes or trembles but Tears continue to flow free. I sing the chorus softly. As I continue to strum and sing along, I slowly cry myself to sleep..
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