I needed an escape, I was hurting so much. I needed an outlet for my pain. The moment I’d found a place to stay, I hadn’t left the room. I just lay on my bed, staring blankly at the roof. Not saying anything, not doing anything. My mind flashes back to when I was with Ashley and silent tears fall down my face. I would occasionally whimper. But that wasn’t often.
I needed a way out. I needed to move on. I slowly got up; I was stiff from lying down for so long. I could call my mum but that didn’t sound appealing to me, I’m not a 5 year old boy anymore who runs to their mum when something goes wrong. I’m a 21 year old man who learns to move on and get on with life. I can make decisions on my own. I grabbed my car keys and for the first time in a week, I left the hotel apartment. I drove in silence to the nearest pub I could find. I stared out of the windshield, seeing nothing and everything at the same time.
As I entered the pub, I knew I shouldn’t be here. This wasn’t the mature, responsible thing to do but I was neither of those anymore. She made me those things and now that we aren’t together anymore, it was time to go back to being a bad boy; smoking, drinking and doing irresponsible things. I sat down across from the bartender.
“‘Ello mate, what can I get ya?”
“The strongest liquor you can find” I said. Truth was that I didn’t know what I wanted; in here, or out there. I wasn’t sure what to do or where to go now. My life had mainly consisted of her. But that part was over now and now I felt like a mouse in maze. Not knowing which route to take, terrified, confused and scared.
“Ah, ya heartbroken” The bartender said with a knowing smile. I nodded. “Got plenty of those in here. Let me guess, she was beautiful and you both loved each other but you got into a fight so she decided to call it quits and take a breather”
“How’d you know?” I said, astonished at how he accurate he was.
“It’s written all over ya face, mate; love, pain, regret, sadness. Don’t worry mate, I know exactly what you need” He set about making me a drink and placed it down in front of me. “Strong enough to take the pain away but not strong enough that you’ll wake up with a wicked hangover the next morning”
“Thanks. How much is it?” I reached for my wallet but the bartender laughed and shook his head.
“Nah, mate. Don’t worry about it; this one is on the house. For your heartache”
I thanked him and he nodded his head and went to someone who was beckoning him. I took a drink and grimaced. It was strong and it burned my throat. The responsible me would have paid for the drink but left it untouched as I went to find a more mature way to cope. But that me was long gone, so the reckless me pulled together and downed the glass.
I was about to ask for a second when I saw a flash of blonde hair. I blinked. Ashley? As I scanned the room for the blonde hair again, it wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Wow, that alcohol was strong. I must be drunk already if I was seeing things.
Five of those drink later, I saw the blonde hair again but once again, it was gone as quickly as it appereared. One’s an incidence, two’s a coincidence… I quickly brushed aside the thought. Ashley is in Australia, she can’t possibly be in London.
But I saw the flash of blonde hair and this time I had to find out. One’s an incidence, two’s a coincidence and three’s a pattern. I couldn’t ignore it. I followed the blonde and when I was behind her, I grabbed her arm and spun her around.
But it wasn’t. This girl wasn’t her. Of course not I thought. Why would she be here? She’s the one who called off the relationship. This girl had short blonde wavy hair. Her eyes were an icy blue that stood out more because of her eye make-up. Her face had an almost childish look about. So, she actually looked nothing like Ashley – except for the blonde hair.
“Excuse me?” The girl said, looking at me weirdly. I couldn’t blame her.
“Sorry, I thought you were someone else. My mistake”
The girl smiled sympathetically. “It’s alright. This Ashley must have meant something to you if you’re willing to go after strangers that look like her”
“You could say that”
“She’s your ex?”
I nodded. “Yeah, we got into a fight. I thought she was cheating on me, I got jealous. She was the one who decided that we needed to take a break”
The girl frowned. “Oh, you poor boy” Then the girl smiled. “I’m Perrie. Perrie Edwards”
“Zayn Malik” I said, shaking her extended hand. “Hey, do you wanna catch up sometime? Have a coffee or something?”
“Sure, sounds great. Give me your phone and I’ll put my number in” I handed her my iPhone. She typed her number and gave it back to me. She then handed me hers and I did the same.
“I’ll see you around then” She said, smiling. She went to join her friends. As I walked back to my seat, I glanced back and saw her looking at me. She smiled and turned to talk to her friends. She laughed. I was left staring into space wondering what the hell just happened. I’d given another girl my number and it had only been a week. I can’t believe how fast I had gotten over her. Maybe though, it was for the best.
“Another one, mate?” the bartender asked me, jerking me back to reality. I smiled and nodded. He put it in front of me within seconds and I sipped it.
Maybe this was the beginning of something new and exciting.
It was time for me to move on and get on with life.
It was time for me to see where life decided to take me.
And just ride the rollercoaster that is life.