Babies Having Babies

" Mom, I'm pregnant." I still remember saying that like it was yesterday. I never imagined that I would become a slut in some people's eyes. I didn't want to be a statistic, but now I am.

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12. What Am I Doing

Last year, I took my ACT and actually did pretty well on it. I scored a 30/36. My whole family was overjoyed, but I wasn't. I was let down- I knew what had gotten my score down. It was the essay question: Where do you see yourself in ten years? I had said that I saw myself as a successful lawyer, wife, and mother.

 

How do you even go from that to my situation now? I mean, I'm a high school senior with a baby on the way. All of my friends are gone, and I have no life. Great.

 

Maybe some cereal would cheer me up. I strolled into the kitchen, only to find all of our stupid little clear tubs that my mom insisted on buying to be empty.

 

I trifled through the cabinets until I felt eyes boring a hole through me.

 

" What on Earth are you looking for?" my dad asked.

 

" Food," I sighed.

 

" Well, how about I take you down to the donut shop? I mean, you and I haven't had a day out since..." he trailed off, losing his smile.

 

" Sure- that'd be great, dad. I'm just gonna put on some clothes and then I'll be ready."

 

I threw on some jeans and sneakers and an old cheer t-shirt. Stupid bitches, I thought. My name's at the top, just like it always has been.

 

I brushed through my hair and met my dad at the front door. We just smiled shyly at each other like the strangers we had become these past months.

 

We go tin his truck and drove towards my favorite little donut shop right next to the pier where he and I used to fish all the time when I was little. Sometimes, you just get so caught up in life that you forget how beautiful the world really is. We don't stop and smell the roses or communicate- we just go through the motions, caring about or own lives.

 

" So how's the- the baby?" my dad asked, cutting glances at me as he drove along.

 

" Um, she's doing good, I guess. Is this what you wanted to take me out for? To talk about the baby?" I asked in a calm tone.

 

" Yeah, Tara, it is. I'm still not happy and I really won't ever be, but now we can't help it. And I don't want you to say anything- just listen," he went on," I know that you're keeping her, and that's what I want you to do. I've just been so scared for you and how people would see you, that I didn't really see how bad I was acting, and I'm sorry for treating you like you should be ashamed. You shouldn't, Tara. You're bright, beautiful, and a princess. And if you want to give her up for adoption, that's fine, too."

 

" Wait- I'm keeping my baby," I said, shocked that he would think I wouldn't want her.

 

" Okay, but you can't imagine how hard this will be on your own."

 

" On my own? I have mom and grandma and Taylor said he'd help-"

 

" Taylor's a piece of shit who knocks girls up and doesn't care, you should know that better than anyone," he huffed, shaking his head like I was an idiot.

 

" Well, I didn't realize that was how you felt," I choked out once he stopped the truck. I got out and slammed the door of his precious vehicle and started walking off. I didn't care where I was going, but I knew people that still cared and so what? I could do this alone. I could.

 

" Tara!" he yelled, walking towards me.

 

He grabbed my arm, jerking me around to face him.

 

" Dammit. I'm not going to have my pregnant high schooler walk away from me. As if you haven't done enough. Can't you just lay low for a little while, for me?" he asked, tears flooding his eyes.

 

" Fine. Just take me home."

 

We didn't even get donuts. We just went home.

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