When I used to work at Toys R Us, never had I ever thought that there would be a day I'd be able to see my own face on the merchandise there. Similarly, I had never dreamt of a day I'd be bying my daughter that merchandise.
Today, when I entered the store to buy Millie something, all I could do was question myself over and over again asking if this was all a dream and if I pinched myself, I'd wake up and all of this will be gone.
Even if this is a dream, its the best dream ever and I don't ever wanna wake up. I don't wanna go through the pain I've been suffering for the past two years. The agony. The ultimate feeling of living in hell.
After a long time of continuously searching in many stores, I finally found the perfect gift for her. Eleanor was gonna like this more than Miliie, I was totally sure of that. So, I got her some more girly toys and left with all the security never leaving my side.
There were going to be thousands of assumptions about me leaving a toy store with a lot of stuff.Me and Eleanor still had to talk about all of this. Exposing Millie to the media will change everything for the three of us. She won't have a normal normal life. Then again, what normal thing does she have around her? Crazy life, crazy mum, crazy superstar daddy. Yeah, nothing.
I'm sure she would be able to handle being famous.But I still had to know Eleanor's opinion about this. This wasn't just my decision to make.
I'll have to talk to her today. There were so many questions I wanted to ask her . So many answers required but i thought better of it and decided to stay quiet since this was too early to mess everything up again.
As we reached a little isolated place, away from the mob, I took out my beanie and mask and put them on. The mask covered my mouth and half of my nose, leaving only my eyes and forehead on show.
Hopefully nobody will recognise me. No one recognised harry when he did it, so i could only hope for the same.
When we were a huge distance away from the crowd, I asked the driver to stop the car and ask the security to leave. I didn't want any unwanted attention by taking this army with me .
The walk wasn't very long , so it didn't take more than 10 minutes for me to reach the place. When I ringed the doorbell, I could hear the faint sound of laughter coming from inside.
I heard footsteps nearing the door as i removed the mask and made a sweet warm face , not the one i made during that moment photoshoot. A real one.
But my smile soon faded and a scowl replaced it. There was Travis standing right infront of me , holding the door with a huge grin which faded too as soon as his eyes met mine.
And to make matters worse, when i looked at Millie over his shoulder , she called out to him as the one name that made my blood boil. The one thing that made me feel like my body was going to explode from the rage I was feeling.
She called him daddy.
My daughter called him daddy.
And Eleanor was smiling like she didn't hear our daughter call someone else her daddy. But as soon as she noticed me standing here, a deep frown took over her features and she looked extremely panicked.
Her eyes flicked between me and Travis and she stood up hastily. But before she could say anything , I lifted my fist up and crashed it on Travis' face. He groaned in pain and stumbled backwards . There was a little blood on my knuckles , so I figured I got him pretty bad.
Without sparing a glance at any of them , I spun on my heels and brisk walked my way out of the building with the gift bags tightly clutched in my left hand. My knuckles were hurting but that pain was nothing compared to what i was feeling in my chest right now. It felt like I had been stabbed and the knife had been twisted in the worst way to cause me as much pain as it possibly could. Then, it was brutally pulled out leaving a huge hole in the middle of my heart. And i think a hole in the heart does cause more pain than a tiny bruise on my knuckles.
I had covered a pretty good distance when I heard loud footsteps hastly following me but i didnt look back. A hand clutched my wrist tightly and the sound of Eleanor's voice made me stop.
"Please stop and listen to me. Please." She pleaded , breathing heavily because of the sprint.
"What is there to listen? Millie called that so called friend of yours her daddy! What more do you want me to listen?" I yelled.
I tried not to show the hurt and sorrow I felt more than the anger but I am sure my face betrayed me . Eleanor has always been able to read me like an open book. Today wouldn't be an exception for sure.
"You want a repeat of the last two years? Fine then. Go ahead,run off without letting me explain! Make me go through all of that once again because that is all you are capable of!" She yelled back, eyes glistening with tears.