Being exited and apprehensive at the same time sucks. Being doubtful about a life changing decision sucks more. And, having every good thing in your life on the line sucks most.
My advice to people today is as follows: if you take the game of life seriously, if you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your sense organs seriously, if you take the energy process seriously, you must turn on, tune in, and drop out.
But the truth here is that I'm not following my own advice. Not even taking it into consideration. Like I said, being exited and apprehensive at the same time sucks.
Today is a very big day for me. It is not only my third year dating anniversary with Louis, but its also a day of confessions for me. I may be nervous, but i was overwhelmed with excitement. I may be highly doubtful about my decision to tell him today, but i'm just as much looking forward to it.
I did absolutely nothing to hide my nervousness because my man once said, "Don't try to be what you're not. If you're nervous, be nervous. If you're shy, be shy. It's cute." That was one of the times Louis was actually serious.
So, my decision was finalised after heaps of motivational speeches from Danielle. To influence his decision a little, I chose to wear the little black dress I bought specifically for this occasion. I know I'd have to find a way to distract him. Snickering quietly, I walked into our room with the perfectly ironed dress hanging on my right arm.
I had spent the whole day decorating the apartment while he was at work.
Yeah, exactly! He is working. But he felt twice as bad as i did and he kept calling every 15 minutes to make sure i was not mad.
Sometimes, i wonder what i did in life to deserve a guy like him. He was funny, good looking, smart, sassy and so much more. And I, well, I was the female version of him i guess. But really, I was just a normal girl with an average life. I was just a teenage dirtbag baby.
It is just splendid how one's life can take a complete 180 degree turn. Mine did. And i have loved the changed to its every last bit.
I quickly applied some makeup but kept it simple because I believe, and I quote in an extremely classy voice-"Beauty lies in simplicity." That is the only reason why i'm wearing the shortest dress ever which shows off my curves by clinging to all the right places. And to top it off, I'm wearing six inch heels with sexy jewellery.
Yup, I like to keep it totally simple and decent.
I grabbed my wallet in case the home delivery guy showed up a little early. I did all the decorations and preparations myself but cooking is just not my cup of tea. Glancing at the clock, I took a seat on the couch, taking one last look at everything.
30 minutes earlier...
I was feeling really bad because it was a pretty momentous day for both me and El and I had to work. I mean, this was huge. Like really huge and I knew what i was gonna make it.
That is because the height of nervousness in me would've reached the moon till now. I said moon because I was too lazy to recall what the uppermost layer of the atmosphere is called.
Anyway, being back to the point, I was going to ask Eleanor to marry me.
I know, people may say that it is a huge decision and I'm rushing it. But like Zayn once said," Ask me if I give a motherf**k."
I know she is the only girl I anticipate a future with. She is the only girl I wanna spend the rest of my life with, as cliché as that may sound. So, I cant see a possible reason to delay officially calling her mine forever. Its not like no one knew about the consequences of laying a hand on my girl.
Moreover, I wanted to defeat Zayn in this matter.
Speaking of Zayn, he entered the room looking pretty anxious. He was holding some booklets in his hand and was walking slower than he normally does. I'm not a stalker or anything. I'm just very observant.
"Think of the devil and the devil arrives." I said but all he did in return was give me weird looks.
"What exactly are you trying to do?" He asked with one of his eyebrows raised.
"Me? Oh nothing big. I'm just chilling mate." I said nonchalantly like I didn't know why he was giving me the looks.
"They won't just let me go home so i'm on a strike. I won't wear my pants till they tell me why i'm still here."
He sighed and hesitantly handed me the magazines he was clutching. "That is because they wanted to uhm.. Show you this."
I took then from his hand and frowned at him. Why was he being hesitant about some stupid arse articles. Its not like they are true or anything.
Glancing at the page, the headline had my blood boiling already. The article read:
Is the famous Louis Tomlinson from one direction being cheated upon?
It has been reported that the 1/5th of the famous boy band One direction's Louis Tomlinson is being kept in the dark by his girlfriend Eleanor Calder.
People have taken pictures of her kissing some guy in a bar and giving him an erotic lap dance. They have been seen a couple of times before. Her probability of cheating on Louis Tomlinson has been hightened a lot.
It is said that the guy's name is Evan Brown and he is a bartender. Eleanor is said to have been cheating on Louis for a month now since he has been really busy with work and didn't get time to check what was going on with his girlfriend. Eleanor has been sneaking behind his back and was seen with Evan by some One Direction fans who clicked the pictures of them kissing and getting cozy with each other.
Poor Tomlinson. Couldn't balance work and his love life and ended up hartbroken and alone.
I was furious to say the least. There were two pictures at the bottom of the page. One, where the bastard had his tongue down Eleanor's throat and the other one of Eleanor on his lap. They pictures weren't that clear but I could easily recognise the dress she was wearing. I bloody gifted that to her.
I didn't bother looking at Zayn as I grabbed my pants and put them on, ignoring all his attempts to stop me. He even tried snatching away my pants. But nothing he did was of any use as I wasted no time in storming off, ignoring every voice I heard.
Why did she do this? If I wasn't enough for her, all she had to do was say so. I would've backed off myself. She didn't have to do something like that.
I didnt bother following the speed limit or looking at the traffic lights. All i wanted to do was ask her why she did it? Was it even true?
The pain i was feeling in my chest was increasing as i got closer to our apartment. I parked my car in the driveway and swiftly got out.
I used my key to open the door and was greeted by a delightfully decorated apartment and an absolutely stunning Eleanor. She smiled brightly at me and stood up.
I could feel my heartbeat getting faster but i ignored every feeling i got as i walked towards her.
I wanted answers.