13. Chapter twelve: Tony
Why oh why did I go round to Tasha’s that day? That visit only made things between us more complicated. From then on she had this image in her head that she and I had a future together. And stupid old me let her go along thinking this even though I knew it was wrong. I mean as if one stupid letter was going to stop this girl from having me. She’s like no-one I've ever met before and that just intrigues me. But I can’t have her. I don’t want her. Don’t get me wrong, Tasha was the most fun I ever had but I couldn’t see myself settling down with her. The relationship we had would probably have ended as soon as she went all the way with me. I wouldn’t have minded that much because its experience for me.
The next day I felt so guilty that I went round to Maisie’s house for a late Valentine’s Day night in. You see Maisie goes to Nightingale Boarding school so I don’t normally see her during the school term. But because it was Valentine’s Day she persuaded her mum to let her stay home for the week so I could spend some quality time with her. I felt I owed it to her after I went to spend time with Tasha.
So there I was at Maisie’s. She was laying on top of me kissing me passionately, her lips soft and gentle against mine. But it wasn’t the same as when I kissed Tasha. There was no spark, no passion. It just felt like a robotic action on my part. And it was always just kissing. She never took it any further and she would always stop the second I tried to progress it, saying that “I was pushing her” and I would have to “wait until I’m ready and of age”. See she’s in the year below me at school so she’s only fourteen and a bit. I get a load of grief from my friends about being ‘whipped’ because I’ve been with her for like a year and a half now and even though she won’t go all the way I've stayed with her. She makes kissing boring because sometimes she won’t even let me run my hands over her body. She nearly had a heart attack when I accidently got an erection whilst I was on top of her. I couldn’t help it, she has a nice body. I got with her just after my fifteenth birthday so I’m still a virgin, which I haven’t actually told my friends. It means my hand has had to come in handy quite a few times, and I've taken quite a lot of cold showers. But I can’t leave her, its complicated and obviously I have feelings for her.
“I missed you” She whispered to me in between kisses.
“I missed you too baby” I replied. Well I had missed her. Me and Tasha were over- or so I thought.