Depression. Is this really what depression feels like?
I've been in bed for a week now, hiding out from the big bad world.
"Olivia, Mr. Marshall Is here!" My mother called up for downstairs. I groaned, The detective has come here every day so far, trying to coax something out of me. I bit my lip, I couldn't hide away forever.
I got up and went to my bathroom. I looked in the mirror, and I basically looked like hell. If I had, got my cycle I wouldn't even know it. I frowned before stripping down and hopping in the shower. I let the hot water, relax me. Even though it burned, I deserved the pain.
I washed up and got out wrapping a towel around me. A brushed my teeth and put my hair in a messy bun before opening the door and going back to my room. I walked in my closet and grabbed some underclothes. I changed in to them and grabbed a tank top, and a black hoodie. I put on some white sweats and stepped out of my closet.
I put on cherry lip gloss, and prepared my self to go downstairs. I looked at the stairs, and my face quickly masked horror. Cherry Lip Gloss was Casey's Favorite. And she'd never get to wear it again. Just because of me.
I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from sobbing. You Can Do It. I reassured myself. Although that didn't stop the waterfall of tears streaming down my face. I ran back Upstairs to my room, automatically opening my window. I went back over to my dresser and grabbed the lip gloss. I walked back over to the window and threw it as hard as I could.
I wiped the lip gloss off with my hands furiously, before taking a deep breath. "You Can Do it, Just Answer some questions. That's it" I whispered to myself.
Nervously I made my way back downstairs. I followed voices to the kitchen, and was greeted by the detective instantly.
"Ms. Mathews I'm so glad you came down," I shook his hand wordlessly. I studied him from is mop of curls to his converse.
"Would you like to show me your room?" He asked clearly trying to get some privacy. I nodded my head and lead him to my bedroom. I grabbed some dirty jeans off of my computer chair and threw them in the laundry basket.
Something bright in the basket, caught my eye and I instantly picked it up. I threw it on the ground, and Instantly slid down the wall.
It was of course, Casey's. She wore it almost everyday, Justin her former Crush, Gave it to her. "It was hers" I blurted out to the detective sobbing. He looked at me sympathetically, before picking me up and sitting me on my bed.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled wiping my tears away. He shrugged his shoulders, " You deserve to cry." I looked at him thoughtfully before frowning, "Go ahead, Ask me what ever"
He frowned but replied, "Would You like to explain what happened on the cliff?"
I bit my lip, so we were back to that question, "It was an accident" That's all I could say. After hours of hopeless attempts he finally left. Only minutes after he left my mom knocked on the door.
"Olivia, Sweetie Dinners Ready"
"Coming mom" I answered quietly. I walked in the hallway and saw her smiling brightly at me. The poor thing, she was so worried about me she didn't know what to do. I probably put her through hell these past days.
Without thinking, I gave her a big hug, "I love you" I whispered quietly.
"I love you too sweetie," She replied running her hands through my hair. We walked down the stairs and in too the kitchen. I felt tears gather in my eyes, once I saw everyone, My Brother And Two little sisters, Staring at me.
I took a deep breath before sitting down, making eye contact with no one. What did they think of me?
I finished dinner quickly, and washed my dish. I headed upstairs once again hiding away from the big bad world.
The bad world, that I would have to face tomorrow at school.
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