With all of the drugs I was on, I started to hallucinate, I started to believe the hallucinations that I was having.
Some of the most vivid, terrifying hallucinations, I actually remember. Some of them I've only ever told to my current boyfriend, and that's it.
The first, and most vivid hallucination is one that I will never forget.
I was on a pirate ship (weird, I know) and me and my mum were playing pool, when all of a sudden the pool table fell, and broke - somehow trapping me and my mum underneath it. Then, all of a sudden we could hear footsteps, and these faces came through the ceiling, just the faces outlined through the square ceiling tiles. Each of them mindlessly telling us 'they're coming', repeatedly. What you have to remember is that I woke up believing this was real. This was really happening. All of a sudden pirate versions of my nurses were coming in, and I knew they meant harm.
The nurses went to take my mum, but I begged they take me instead. I knew they'd make me into one of the mindless faces sinking through the wall - that was their punishment, that was what they did. But first, they raped me, before sinking my face through the ceiling, where - in the hallucination, I believed I would stay forever, watching the same thing happen to other poor, poor patients.