The next day I really took into consideration seeing a therapist. Sebastian has been gone for almost 2 years and all I have been doing for help, is depending on Liam. Liam has been my best friend since primary school, right now his parents are in the middle of a divorce and he never complains to me. I need to come up with a resolution
I used to have 10 things about Sebastian and they were the things I loved about him. I have them with every guy I meet. I feel like my feelings were growing more and more for Liam, I couldn't help them but I knew it couldn't happen.
I was on my way to see my Therapist feeling nervous. What if telling her my feelings would make things worse and I would think about Sebastian more. I walk in with everyone staring at me like I am a hobo. I was the only one in there actually dressed nicely. As I was patiently waiting In my seat the song that me and Sebastian danced to at our formal came on, I broke out in tears and ran out of the room. I sat on the steps and sobbed. What if they called me in .. I had to get over myself it has been 2 years already and it’s time to move on.
I walk in again with everyone staring at me and I take my seat, just as I sit down they call out my name
“ Bethany Jones ? “
“ Yes, I’m here “ I call and head into the room. I sit down in the comfortable and large chair like I imagined and she starts asking me questions.
“ Now Hello I am Elizabeth, I will be your therapist for as long as you need me. I am here to give you support and help you decide the choices you are going to make. Here is my number to start things off whenever you would like to talk to me, or make an appointment. Now I believe it’s Beth “
“ What are you hear to talk to me about today ?”
I look down, I was starting to think If I should say never mind, or just leave. I didn’t think the words would come out of my mouth, I was frozen for a couple of seconds and then I started talking about my dream.
“ Well “ I start “ I have been having nightmare’s about my boyfriend. We had been together for 5 years, from year 8 to 12, he passed away in a car crash “
“ Ok “ she says “ Can you tell me a bit about yourself “ as she starts writing things down
“ Well My name is Beth and I am 21 years old. Sebastian has been out of my life for 2 years, and my parents have been out of my life for 3. They didn’t pass away they just kicked me out of the house. I have had a rough childhood ” I say
she stops me “ Now tell me about your dream “
“ Sure “ I say “ Well it starts as I wake up on a couch stearing at Sebastian after a drunken night, I all of a sudden blackout as it all goes black. I wake up to find someone taking a black bag off of my head and I am not in our apartment that I am sharing with my best friend Liam. I then noticed Sebastian wasn’t there and I shout for him but have no response. I then face a tall dark haired man and ask him where he is, he doesn’t reply at first but then I shout it and he says
“ That’s for me to know and you to find out “ I stop as a tear falls down my face, and take a break
“ Then “ I sigh “ They leave the room and I am by myself for a couple of minutes to start crying wondering where I am, and wondering were Sebastian is. They then come back in and the tall dark haired man says
“ Take her into the other room “
“ and ........ I start to get worried I am about to collapse and I can’t feel my legs, and then we stop. We walk through the door and he throws me on the floor. I see Sebastian unconscious on the floor and crawl to him. I try to speak to him and.. “
Tears start rushing down my face non stop, I knew this wasn’t going to do me any good. I take deep breaths and the tears start to slow down.
“ I tell him to stay alive and rest myself on his chest then I hear him say .”
“ I tried ..”
“ I knew that when he said he tried not his trying meant his was dead and I would no longer see him, or hear his beautiful voice. Then I wake up “
“ So this happens everything night ? “ The lady says
“ Yes, and for 2 years. What will make them stop !” I shout uncontrolled
“ I will have to work on It I have taken down notes and will schedule another appointment. I will let you know “
“ That’s it ! “ I yell with anger
“ All you do is take notes of what I said and then just work it out ? I thought you said you would give me support and help me decide my choices ? All of that was for nothing, Your useless !” I blurt out I stand up strong grab my handbag and storm out of the room not saying another word. but the I realize I should tell her one more thing, Storming back In I shout
“ Also I’m falling in love with my best friend Liam Payne !”
I walk out strong again. Walking down the streets I think did i just say about Liam, I thought I decided I would never have feeling for him. Well that didn’t work out, what was his first thing I love about him. I love him but I can’t decide what it is.
Nothing has been going right for me lately and thinking I should move out. It will be hard but I know that Liam has his own problems as well that he never seems to complain about, But I complain about everything to him. It just makes me feel so bad.
I start to look for apartments on my laptop for maybe one downtown, but with no luck they are all to expensive the only thing I can afford is a flight to Alabama. Wait what did I just say to myself ? move to Alabama, I don’t want to move to far away but it can’t be that bad right ?
I start to hover my mouse over Alabama and on my mouse pad I click. What did I just do. I am moving to Alabama with no house or apartment to rent. It will be cheaper so I might have more luck but the thing I am scared about Is how to tell Liam. I am leaving tomorrow morning early so I packed all of my things while he was at work and started to write him a letter.
I make myself a small dinner before I see Liam walk through the door, what ! his home early. I can’t even look him in the eyes.
“ Hey Beths “ I go to hug her “ what’s wrong “ I say she looked like she wanted to ignore me
“ Nothing !” she says
“ Oh ok, how did the therapist go ?”
“ Well ” she sighs “ It was ok I sorta stormed out and sorta had a disagreement with her but it was totally her fault, she told me after the whole hour of taking notes that was it. She told me she would be there to support me and what did she do just take notes I mean I couldn’t believe it!”
I see her running out of breath and go to hug her. I just wish things were going better for me that way I could support her more, because she needs it. I lift her up in my arms and lay her in bed
“ Have a good night’s rest “ I say
“ Goodnight “ I say
“ Goodnight Liam “
It was so hard, just having to let him go like this after what he did tonight. I can’t believe I basically ignored him, he must be curious. I knew I needed a good night’s sleep but I still hadn’t writ the letter. Well here we go, it could possibly be the last time I see or hear of Liam.