"This is all my fault" I scream
"No, it isn't! We don't know who took him, but it is not your fault" Louis said and hugged me
"No, this feels wrong, I know it is because of me!" I say "I can't breathe, Louis, I can't breath.." I say but I struggle to say those words. I am losing air, why is this such a big deal? I barely even knew Harry. I have a secret. It has scarred me for life, the reason I couldn't talk to anyone, the reason I cut, the reason I don't want to live sometimes.I just know that this is connected somehow.
"I think she is having a panic attack!" Liam shouts
"Come on Alice, take deep breaths, breathe in....breath out....stay calm, Alice" Niall says trying to calm me down, but I know he is really tensed. Why do I have to be so selfish, everyone is trying to take care of me before trying to find Harry! I wish I was never born.
"I feel better..." I say after a few minutes
"Well, that was a new experience for us" Zayn says
"Do you get panic attacks often?" Louis asks me
Well, the answer is yes but I can't tell him that. Most people have frequent panic attacks because they have faced something terrifying, I can't let them know about...............him. I have to lie.
"uhmm, no! Very rare, this is the third time I experienced a panic attack.." I lie. I feel guilty for not telling the truth but some secrets are meant to be kept as a secret. I am scared. I just don't know what to do right now. HARRY STYLES HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED. I feel so guilty......but I can't tell them................but that could help them find harry...................but it can also help them find.......him.
"How dare you say that to me, bitch!" He says as he slaps me.
"I am sorry, I didn't mean to..." I choke out
"Shut up, when they get home you better not be crying! You know what I will do otherwise!" he says
I stay silent. "Understand!" he screams "Yes!" I say
"Good, now go and get cleaned up you whore" he says
"Okay....Nathan, why do you do this to me?" I cry
"As revenge to those f*ucking assholes who you call mom and dad" He says "When I become older, I will come back for you! Just you wait, you think your life is miserable now, wait for the future, you will be begging to come back to this time. I don't care who you will be with, I don't care if I have to kill someone! I will get you and I will make your life a living hell but until then, I am stuck in this hell hole, so go get cleaned up, slut" He sayswith a smirk on his face
I will never forget those terrifying days. I don't want him to find me again. I know he will though. What if they do something to Harry. I just keep thinking until I hear Louis say "What are we going to do?"
"Well, we have to find him!" Liam says
I look at them and see their faces full of tears. Bloodshot eyes from all the crying.
"Call for help!" I scream
"Call Sam and Tyler! Tell them that Harry he is kidnapped. He is a worldwide sensation, he will be found!" Zayn says
"Good idea, let's go home and Zayn you start calling Sam!" Niall says barely able to speak
We have to find him, Harry won't be missing! What if something happens to me? Stop being selfish, I don't care if I die, Harry has to be safe. he didn't do anything wrong. They should have never adopted me. No they shouldn't have. I have to run away. I can not put the others in danger. I know what Nathan wants I know how to make him release Harry. I know the answer to all of this.