This wonderful old lady came to my prison today! I think she was checking up on the 7 short people I took hostage yesterday. She just came to the window and threw an apple at my face! It was a little bit fuzzy, but it looked delicious! I was starving because I had to make my new peasants food. It's not like I'm going starve them. I'm not that evil. Just a little bit a lot.
As I was saying, the apple was very appealing. I think the fuzz was a figment of my imagination, because I trust this random old lady. So I bite the apple. And then I stop moving. I don't know what happened, I just fell to the ground. I can hear and see everything (especially the stupid peasants laughing). . .Then the beautiful, old hag walks through the door and drags me through the forest. She doesn't even bother to keep me from hitting the jagged rocks that rip open my skull. . .
-Beautiful Old Hag-
That Snow black is a fool! Or it is Snow Asian? Snow Mexican? I really don't care what race she is.
So, I gave her the deadly apple. I can't even believe she did not see the parasitic mold growing on it! As soon as she bit it, she was dead. I dragged her dead body to my lair. I plan to transfer her organs into my pet Chewbacca's body! He needs a kidney, lung, face, spleen, bladder, large intestine, small intestine, liver, teeth, fingernails, toes, and soul.
I threw her body on a large rock that I had found earlier. I pulled out a few tools, but not many because my fingernails would do.
I have NO idea what this woman thinks she is doing, just ninging* my limp body onto a filthy rock! Anyway, that's not the major issue. The major issue is. . .I CAN'T MOVE!!!
-Beautiful Old Hag-
Now all I have to do is rip her apart!!! YAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!! I approach her body and use my nails (I filed them into a point) to rip open her stomach. I gently remove the easiest organs from her body, so not to ruin them. Bacca needs them!
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, WHAT DOES SHE THINK SHE'S DOING?!?!? SHE'S REMOVING MY ORGANS!!! AND I'M STILL ALIVE!!! I CAN SEE HER REMOVING MY ORGANS!!!THERE'S BLOOD EVERY WHERE!!!
-The Old Hag-
After removing majority of her organs, I removed her heart. But Bacca doesn't need a new heart, so I'm going to sell it on Ebay! Might as well make some money the parts of her that I'm not going to use.
(A/N: I can't really put anything here. . .You can't live without a heart. . .So I guess it's :)
*Ning: To throw something as hard as you can, usually against a wall.