A Twist In Fairytales

... This is (SPARTA!!) just something stupid that we threw together sooo. . .We hope you enjoy!


2. Cinderella's Violent Protests

I got the letter in the mail.

It was an invitation to the prince's ball, in his desperate attempt to find a wife. I think I would be perfect, after all, I'm flawless. Although, my stupid peasants-sisters-call me extremely ugly. But I know I would be the best choice for a wife.

(A/N: She is so ugly it melts your face off and damages your spleen and brain. You would be thinking-with what ever part of your brain that wasn't fried-is that a rotting dead opossum corpse?)

Now, all I need to do is find the perfect dress. I think the rats are calling my name, they wanna make me the perfect outfit. I think they are trustworthy because they foam at the mouth.

"I'll go get your supplies, you little trustworthy squirrels!" I tell them.

As soon as I walk outside, I see a baby skunk. It was soooooo cute! It would help towards making the perfect dress! So I grab it and give a sharp twist at the neck. I return to the house and dangle its body in front of the trustworthy ferrets. "I found the perfect thing!"

The mice greedily grab the creature from my hands and begin skinning and gutting it. Then I realize something. "Stop! Save the mercaptans and make perfume out of them!"

After I finished my beautiful gown, I got dressed and headed for the ball. On the road, I saw an extremely ugly woman. She looked like a hag. But just when I noticed her, she turned around and said, "YO GUUUUURRRLLL, I is be your fairy godmotha. And you is soooo ratchet, let your big momma help you outta that."

"Excuse me?! This gown was made by my finest demon gerbils-who strangely foam at the mouth-and it is TOP of the line!!! One of a kind!!!"

"Bippity, boppity, BAAAAAAAAAAM!" my fairy...whatever she was yelled.

I was suddenly engulfed in flames, and I think I heard an announcer's voice say: "LET THE 76TH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!" Then a horde of girls in gowns appeared, all running towards the castle-ripping dresses and tearing weave-where the prince sat on the throne (cornucopia). I had suddenly realized what I was wearing. . .a beautiful dress. . .surrounded by a swarm of mosquitoes. I snatched a pitchfork from another girl and started rapidly stabbing the air. . .and my face. I realized the latter as soon as blood dripped into my eyes. I dropped the pitchfork and held my hands in front of my face, and then my face just. . .fell off. I screamed, "FAIRY GODMOTHER, HELP!!!"

"Ooohhh maaaan, guuurl, I don't know about this one. . ." she has a horrified expression on her face.

"Oh well, I have to go to the ball anyway. Here, hold this." I said and threw my face into her hands. She didn't seem to mind.

I ran to the prince, wincing as the still present mosquitoes landed on my face and licked off the blood. The Prince stared at me for a second, saying nothing, and then screamed, "YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL!!!" In his helium voice. He scooped me up into his arms, and we danced. My face was kind of in pain, so the only way to get rid of him was to. . .kill him. So I stabbed him with my shoe. I ran and turned back and saw the shoe protruding from his chest.

So much for the ball. . .



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