A Twist In Fairytales

... This is (SPARTA!!) just something stupid that we threw together sooo. . .We hope you enjoy!


5. Ariel's Digestion

Father sent out a group of mermen to hunt the humans a while ago.

He told me earlier that the last of their kind has sailed over us in a ship in search of other lands. Probably because they are scared that we will kill them off. They're so stupid, they came right to us. We live underwater. So they decide to sail a ship. Stupid barbarians.

So guess what we plan to do. Kill them. Gosh, it doesn't take a marine biologist to figure out that one. . .Oh wait, you're probably a human. That means you Are naaaaasty. . .

Where was I? Oh yeah, while we were talking about your pea of a brain, the mermen just arrived with the dead bodies. Don't worry, we don't plan to eat them. . .yet. First we must throw a party!!!

All of us citizens of Atlantis put together a huge party with lots of food. Pretty much every thing we can find. If you are reading this from sea creature heaven, I'm sorry Flounder and Sebastian.We were a little Hungry that day. . .

After the party is set up the guests arrive. (I'll explain this very slowly for your stupid mind) We have enough food to. . .well. . .feed everyone in Atlantis for three years. But we plan to eat all of it tonight! Yay!

We all eat for three days, stuffing ourselves to the maximum. But the worst part of our "small" celebration is the aftermath. . .

We mermen are clones of each other, so when I get as old as my dad, I will look just like him. I hope you also know that we are all males, so I don't know where you humans got that "mermaid" thing. Some of us just don't cut our hair, and wearing shells on your chest is the new trend.

Anyway, being clones means we all have the same digestive track. We all digest at the same rate, so that is why we mermen stagger our eating times. It can get real gross.

Oh wait. Party. ALL EATING AT THE SAME TIME. Oh, god, what have we done? WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!

After rifling this is my extremely-bigger-than-your-human-brain, I feel it coming on. Oh no. The ocean rumbles, and my butt explodes. I feel great agony, and all the mermen around me scream at the same time, including me. I can't breathe! I CAN'T BREATHE! All I can feel is my own feces shoving itself into my gills. This is just disgusting. And deadly. Figures.

Slowly, I go unconscious.

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