I sit behind the glass of the small recording studio with my leather bound journal. The tight space feels oddly claustrophobic, when usually it felt safe.
"Harry, we're heading home for today!" Johan yelled from the door.
I jumped from my seat, my anxiety getting the best of me, "Alright, I'll be out in a bit!" I yell to our co-writer trying to play off the obvious fright, "Have a good one, mate!"
He waves his hand and shuts the door behind him, uninterested in my current state of mind.
I put down the journal and run my hand through my hair. I sigh as I look at the clock on my phone. Even though it was late at night in England, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
I get up and stretch, letting my arms reach high above my head. I close my eyes as I lean forward and backwards, and even after I do all of that I try to walk around the small enclosed space. Looking at the soundboard, and microphone. Fiddling with the sound of the audio clip they had left me, and wondering why it sounded so melancholic and when it was supposed to be the next hit for a pop starlet.
As I try to adjust the base, I feel a vibration in my pocket. I look at the phone with a furrowed brow and answer with a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"You need to get back here, now! Something's wrong with Edie!"
The line breaks up, my heart pounds loudly in my ears.
"Get here. Now!"
There's a lot of honking in the background, and Emma trying to say something.
"Niall, what's happening? Where is she!?"
"Hang up the phone Uncle Niall, you're going to crash!" I hear Emma say before the line goes dead.
I grab my journal and my keys. With shaky hands I knew to dial the number of a close friend with a few connections.
I needed to be on a plane within the hour.
After hastily throwing clothes back into suitcases and leaving the rest to Johan, I got into the car with the only friend that was in LA at the moment.
"You're a lifesaver." I say to Ben as he parks the car on the side of the private landing strip.
He shakes his head as he takes the last suitcase out of his car. His compassionate brown eyes lock onto mine he lays a hand on my shoulder, "She'll be alright."
As always, I could be read as easily as a book, "Thanks. I'll call you when I land."
"Please send my regards, I'll be in England next month. I'll stop by to see you, alright?"
"Take care, Harry."
I nod my head as he pulls me into an awkward hug. He was not the hugging type, but I was. Ben knew that, and that would probably explain the awkward embrace on his part.
I watch as he pulls away from the landing strip in his SUV, and stare at the private jet that was all set for departure.
My heart ached as I imagine Edie in a bed, her face pale and her hands cold. I never should have left her side.
I pick up my phone before boarding and read the three messages Niall had hastily left me over again.
Edie's in the Emergency room, the baby is fine but she hasn't woken up yet.
Emma's with me I will take care of her.
I will text you as soon as I know anything
I dial Niall, he picks up immediately.
"Niall, I'm about to board, I'll be there in about eleven hours. So I'd say..." I look at my watch and try to estimate "Three in the afternoon?
"Yeah, Harry. Okay, we'll be here. Have a safe flight, mate. I've got everything under control here."
"Has she woken up yet?"
"No, she hasn't yet." My heart drops."They said she'll be alright, but she has to stay."
"They said she was going to be alright?"
I sighed loudly, releasing a pit of anxiety that had been accumulating throughout the day, "I'm about to board, I'm hanging up."
I had never experienced torture quite like having to be somewhere within the blink of an eye, and instead having to wait eleven hours, thirty five minutes, and forty three seconds.
The monotony of the slowly passing hours only agitated the growing nerves inside me, evolving them into sheer terror.
Because I had chosen to leave, right this week, right when she was barely recovering, I could lose not only her but my baby.
The time mocked me, ticking away slowly, weighing me down as ironically enough I traveled weightlessly through the clouds. With each passing minute grew the fear that I would never hear her laugh again, or watch her as she braided Ems' hair, or see her carry our newborn son.
With each passing second I blamed myself relentlessly for allowing myself to leave home when she so desperately needed me, even if she didn't want to admit it.
Time froze in the most unbearable of ways. Making it seem like everything was lost, as if it were up in the air. When hope was only hours, minutes, seconds away.
But time, time wouldn't allow hope to ever reach me.
I run into the hospital, not quite sure where the cab will leave my suitcase, not really caring. I am pointed towards a waiting room with a sleeping Emma upon Niall's lap.
Emma is jostled from her sleep by Niall's sudden movement and she opens her eyes slowly, then all at once when she realizes I was standing in front of her.
"Where is she?"
"Dad, she hasn't woken up yet."
Emma gets up and wraps her arms around me. I tighten my grip around her as Niall makes eye contact with me and signals for me to follow him.
"I'm going to check in with the doctor's alright, baby?"
I walk towards Niall at the end of the corridor and he pulls me into a hug.
"She had a seizure last this morning, they're not sure when she'll wake up."
I try to pull back, away from his embrace, but he only holds me tighter, "You said she was going to be alright!"
He ignores me, continuing to talk,"Harry, they want to deliver the baby."
"It's too early, she's only six and a half months."
"They said if she doesn't wake up within two hours the baby could die, along with her Harry. She could get better you know? But she might not. And right now, it could go either way, mate."
I let a sob escape as Niall holds me to him. Any other day I would have brushed him off, or punched him for holding onto me so tightly.
But today I didn't want him to let go.
Because when he did, I'd have to face the possibility of a world without Edie or our baby.