All She Wants

"I know that they worry, they all worry that i'm lonely, or that i'm sad, or whatever. But i'm not. I don't think they understand how happy I am just to be around them."| Emma Grace Styles has had anything but a normal childhood. Being the daughter of pop sensation Harry Styles, she's grown up around the monumental success of the hit band, One Direction. At eleven years old she has already learned about the world around her, the good things and even the bad. With wisdom beyond her years, and the sarcastic wit she's acquired thanks to her Uncles, will Emma be able to finally adjust to the simplistic life of a normal eleven year old that she so yearned for? Or will change prove to be too much for her to handle? Book II of the She Taught Me How To Love Series

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11. Move On

CHAPTER NINE

Move On

Emma's P.O.V

Dad helps me move Janice to the sofa and we lay her down on the plush material. Within seconds her eyes shoot open and she looks around in a panic. 

"What happened?"

"Well, love, you took a bit of a spill there." Dad says going into the kitchen and pours her a glass of water, "Are you alright?" he says as he hands her the glass.

She looks up at me and mouths the word 'sorry'. I shake my head and smile, it wasn't really a big deal. It was more funny than anything. 

"I'm okay." Janice whispers. 

"Well then, Emma. Why don't you give Janice a tour? I'll bring snacks up in a bit." He opens the fridge only to turn back and look at Janice, "Is there anything you're allergic to?"

"No, sir."

"Ha!" My dad has a proper laughing fit at Janice calling him sir. "Darling, don't call me sir. It'll make me feel older than I already am."

"What should I call you then?"

Oh, that was a good question. I bet dad hadn't thought up an answer before hand. 

"Um, well. You can call me Harry or Ems' dad."

"Oh...okay...Ems' dad."

"There we go, yes, that's good." Dad says cutting up fruit and placing it upon a platter. "I don't hear you girls having fun."

"We're going." I say taking Janice by the hand. She follows me up the stairs and into my room. 

"Wow." She stands in the middle of my room in utter awe. "Emma, your room is beautiful!"

She looks at the walls, all the shades of pink. The posters of cities, the pictures of memories, but the thing that stuck out the most were the three large pictures on the wall in front of my bed. The pictures I treasured the most. 

"Is that your real mum?"

Janice traces the picture of my mother with dad. Then she looks at the one of her and me, the one when I was real little. 

"Yeah, it is."

"She was beautiful. You have her eyes."

"Thank you. Do you want to sit?"

"Yeah." 

She sits upon my bed and looks around nervously. I sit down next to her and try to make her calm, "Janice, it's okay. Don't be nervous."

"I'm sorry, I've never really been over to anyone else's house."

"Are you saying you haven't gone to any of your friend's houses?"

"I haven't got any friends other than you, Ems." She pushes her glasses back onto her nose and looks at me through her ridiculously long eyelashes. 

"Oh, Janice." I pull her into a hug, and I could feel her stiffen. I pat her back, trying to make her hug me back, and she finally does. 

"How has your summer been Emma?" She says pulling back and looking at me. 

"Good." I avoid her stare and I shift around. 

"That doesn't really seem like you've been good." 

"Um, it's complicated."

"Ems, we're friends. You can tell me."

Well who else could I talk to it about? I couldn't tell Uncle Niall what I thought, he'd just tell dad. I guess I could talk about it to Janice.

"Well, my mum is pregnant..."

"Oh, well, isn't that a proper happy thing?"

She crosses her legs upon my bed as I lay back onto a pillow, "Well, yeah."

"But?"

"Well, Janice. I don't know. I don't know what to think. It feels like...like my dad is just going to pay attention to the baby now, you know?"

"Yeah, I have a baby sister."

"And how did that go?"

"Well, my mum had her two years ago. Babies are a lot of work Emma. Since you're older I think you just kind of have to understand you know?"

"But why?"

"Well, that baby is going to be your brother or sister Emma. You know, they look up to you and such. You're going to take care of it like your mum and dad."

"Janice, I don't think I want to."

Her eyes widen a bit as she looks at me, "But Emma, babies are such wonderful things. They're all cute and squishy."

"But Janice, you don't understand. We've finally got the chance to settle down and be a family, and this baby is going to ruin it. They're going to pay more attention to it, and I'm going to be pushed off to the side."

"I don't think you are Ems, I think your dad loves you a lot."

"But how much more is he going to love the new baby? Look at how fast he moved on from my mother, how long do you think it'll take for him to move on from me?"

Janice froze as soon as I said it. She looked like she didn't really understand how I could say that. But I felt a weight lifted from my heart.

"Ahem." We turn to the door and see dad smiling and holding a tray, "I brought some snacks."

"Thanks dad." I could feel myself blushing furiously.

"No problem, give a holler if you need anything."

"You know mum hates it when we 'holler'."

"She can take it up with me then." He says smiling that cheeky smile mum loved so much.

–❈–

Harry's P.O.V

I close the door to Emma's room and walk towards the stairs. I make it half way down and stand there with the tray in hand, her words still running rampant in my mind.

"But how much more is he going to love the new baby? Look at how fast he moved on from my mother, how long do you think it'll take for him to move on from me?"

I knew that I couldn't tell her that I had heard her. I had to hold it inside of me, and find a way of fixing this. 

As a dad, I had to fix it. I had to make her understand that I didn't move on. Not from her mom and not from her. 

I don't think I ever will.

I had to keep it together for her. No matter how much those words hurt. 

Those words really bloody hurt. 

I wish I hadn't over heard her. I wish she didn't think that way. I wish it could just be normal and simple and good. I know that's all she wants, I know that's what we all want.

So why can't I be a good enough dad to give it to her?

"Harry?"

I look up to see Edie peering at me from the kitchen. 

"Harry, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing."

"That look tells me otherwise."

I walk towards her and kiss her warm cheek, "I'm fine, love."

"Alright, well help me make dinner then."

"What are we making?"

"Pasta." she says stirring the pot upon the stove. Her thin figure is hugged by one of my old flannel shirts and her skin was looking less pale. She looked at peace.

"Yum." I say kissing her neck and wrapping my arms around her hips. 

Somehow she always managed to calm those thoughts in my mind, but this time...this time they were still stuck. 

"How long do you think it'll take for him to move on from me?"

Did I ever move on from Leigh? Eight years later and still her name causes a restlessness in my heart. How could I?

"Harry?"

"Hmmm."

"Alright, what's wrong?"

I go to sit at the kitchen table, Edie puts the top on the pot and sits across from me. Her blonde hair fall around her face as she looks up at me.

"Love, what exactly is wrong?" She says reaching for my hand.

"It's just..." I shake my head  and finally meet her eyes, "Edie, have I been a bad father?"

"Harry, why would you ask that?"

I couldn't tell her, could I? Edie loved Emma like she was her own daughter. How could I break her heart?

"It's just that, I don't know, I'm being mad is all."

"I would say." She says smiling wearily. She's not quite convinced, but I know she'll let it go for now.

"For the record, you're an amazing dad Harry. Emma loves you." Edie says kissing me on the forehead and going back to cooking. 

If I hadn't heard Emma say that, I might have believed her. 

–❈–

Emma's P.O.V

Having Janice over was definitely not something I was used to, but it was nice. It was something I wished was normal. You know? Having a friend over, having dad bring us snacks and mum cook us dinner. Dad's knock knock jokes and mum telling him to stop embarrassing us. It was something that made my life feel just, I don't know, normal? This was what a proper eleven year old should be doing, at least I think so. 

Sometimes I think that maybe if my mother hadn't passed, if dad wasn't famous, if he hadn't left her to become who he is now...then maybe things could have been really different. 

Janice looked so surprised when I said what I had said earlier, and I know it's because she doesn't know the whole story. I hope she doesn't think I don't love my family. 

I'm wasn't saying I don't love Edie, I love her like a proper mum. She's been there since I was really little, and well, I barely remember my real mum. But, I don't know. I think that if Edie had the choice to choose between that baby and me, well I think the choice would be obvious. I'm not her real daughter, I'm not really her anything. 

And dad, well I know he loves me. He loves me tons, but dad hasn't talked about my real mother in years. Not a word. It's like he's forgotten her. 

What if he forgets me too?

What if when the new baby comes, the baby he knows about and will raise from the moment he's born, what if he loves that baby more?

What'll happen then?

 

 

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