2. This is Us
This is Us
I really like this! It was a good short read and I understand that it is a prequel for "Reliving the Past" a story I never read (yet). I like the way you give the reader a good idea of the characters' personality and background. I also like Jaylon's character and the way he said, "You forgot to tell her I said hi." That was funny.
In chapter one, second paragraph, it seems like the mother says "I just" a lot and I think less of that would be more effective. Idk, maybe it's just me.
In the third paragraph you say, "belonging" when it should be "belongings". There were a few other minor things that I would possibly revise but, again probably just me.
Idk if you designed it yourself but I love it! I like the colors and the font, especially. The people are also good adds. All together it was very effective!
•TITLE MATCHING STORY: 7/10
It never said much about "This is Us" and maybe you can add that into your story. So it would be better if you made a connection, like a character actually saying the title.
The blurb is relatively accurate but I feel it could use a little extra to make you want to read the story especially if the reader didn't read RtP.
•PLOT AND STORY: 8.5/10
The idea of college and the boyfriend is good. I think if I read "Reliving the Past" it would be better but I haven't. You need to think about the audience that hasn't read the book too.
•GRAMMAR AND SPELLING: 8/10
There were a few mistakes but all together pretty good!
•FINAL RATING: 8.2/10👍
Good job, FiercePrincessAlli!!!
Thx for being the first customer to "Writer's Review"!!!