"That'll be $26.75 ma'am." The cashier at CVS Pharmacy said in a bored tone.
I gave him a quick smile, handing him my credit card. I honestly just wanted to get this over with. The cashier took way too long to swipe my card, it felt like ages to me. I was on my toes, just waiting for one of the boys to come barreling through the sliding glass doors and see me with my little secret.
I was honestly surprised they let me go in the store alone, but I made some stupid excuse about tampons and they all suddenly were fine with staying in the bus.
"Thank you for shopping at CVS. Would you like your-"
I didn't let the guys finish his sentence before I snatched my card out of his hand and grabbed the plastic sack from the counter. I honestly wasn't going to follow the rules of formality while I was in a rush and stressed.
The cashier sighed and mumbled something that I would rather not repeat, as I walked out the doors and into the parking lot where the tour bus was waiting for me. I was a mess of nerves as I shakily walked up the stairs, into the tour bus. I could seriously not get to the bathroom fast enough.
"Did you take care of your girly business?" Calum asks me from the kitchen table.
Rolling my eyes, I pass him without saying a word. I hear him chuckle a bit to himself just as I reach for the bathroom door. It was locked.
"Can you please hurry up? I have to pee!" I yelled pounding on the door.
I could not stand any more distractions today. For the past week all my mind has been on is a little tiny fetus growing inside of me. If I was pregnant, I had not idea what I would do. But I couldn't think about any of that without breaking down. I could only think when I knew for sure.
"Damn Emma. Hold on!" Michael calls, his voice muffled from the closed door.
"Do you really want to test me when I'm on my period?" I growl, clenching my fists in frustration.
In a matter of seconds the door swings open. Michael gives me an apologetic smile before practically running away. Wow, I should fake my period more often.
I went into the bathroom, quickly closing the door behind me. My frustration was now replaced by fear as I tore the pregnancy test out of the bag. Tearing open the box, I quickly read the instructions and did just as it told. I carefully set it on the floor before getting up and washing my hands. Setting the timer on my phone for five minutes, I sat on the toilet and stared at the tiny plastic that would tell me my future. Now I just have to wait.
A baby. I always wanted a child, but not before marriage, not before I was ready. I'm not ready, and I don't want a baby. I mean, I wouldn't abort, but I would give it up for adoption because I don't think I could deal with a little human growing up inside of me. I can barely take care of myself.
The timer on my phone goes off and I pick up the test and almost drop it. The little pink plus mocks me. My eyes start to tear up and I can't breathe. I have probably just made the most stupidest mistake of my life.
I wrap it up and throw it away and unlock the bathroom door, grabbing my phone and sticking it in my pocket. I just lay facedown on my bunk and I have no idea what to say or do. Do I tell Luke?
Should I tell Luke?
I knew the thought was ridiculous, but how would he react? Luke wasn't ready for a child, the same as me. I mean, he wasn't even 18 yet! This would ruin his career and I honestly didn't even know if he would want anything to do with me. If I was him, I wouldn't.
The tears start to fall when I think of Luke leaving me. There was no way I could handle this alone, but who would I tell? Who would help me without judging me for being a stupid teen?
Without a second thought, I tear my phone from my pocket and call Harry. I was hoping he would know what to do or at least calm me down to where I wasn't in hysterics.
"Hello Emma! What's going on?"I could feel Harry's warm smile, even though I couldn't see him.
It made me break down even more. When he heard me crying, he was instantly concerned.
"Emma? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"Oh Harry!" I sob,"I've just made the stupidest mistake of my life."
I try to keep my hoarse voice into a whisper, not wanting any of the boys to hear me. If they found me, there was no way I could come up with a believable lie being this upset.
I hear him sigh lightly before he says softly,"I'm sure it's not that bad, love. Tell me what happened."
"Harry, I'm pregnant." I whisper.
He was silent for a moment and I was starting to think it was a bad idea to tell him. I should have just let the guilt eat me alive. I didn't want Harry to judge me in any way, shape, or form. I couldn't handle it.
"Emma, you just need to calm down. Tell the bus driver to pull over because you aren't feeling well and I'll take you to the doctors, okay?" His voice was gentle and soothing, it made me feel a bit better.
I took a deep breath, wiping the tears away from my eyes,"Harry I don't know if I can-"
"Just trust me. You will get through this and I will be with you every step of the way." Harry replied,"Do what I say and then I'll take you to the doctors."
"Okay." I whisper.
I hang up the phone a take a couple of deep breaths. I needed to concentrate if I was going to pull this off. After a couple of minutes, I get out of my bunk and put a pained look on my face. Clutching my stomach, I run up to the front of the bus, yelling frantically.
"PULL OVER! PULL OVER!"
The bus driver slammed on the brakes, sending me flying forward. I catch myself on a seat at the last second. Without waiting for an explanation, I pull open the doors and run over where the bus driver couldn't see. I made some heaving sounds, hamming up my little performance. If they didn't let me go with Harry, I would seriously freak out.
Calum and Michael run outside to see what was going on just as the One Direction bus pulls over a few yards down. I took in multiple quick breaths as they both ran up to me.
"Emma, what's wrong?" Michael asked me frantically.
I made my voice sound weak and groggy,"I'm not feeling so hot."
As soon as I saw Harry jump off the bus, I made my eyes roll up as I fell into Calum and Michael. One of them caught me, but I didn't dare open my eyes.
"What's going on?"I heard Harry yell.
From the sound of it, he was getting closer.
"I don't know man! She just started freaking out before she fainted." Calum yelled back.
I felt them set me down on the ground. I tried not to move out of the uncomfortable position as I felt more people surround me.
"We should probably take her to the hospital." Niall's voice piped up.
"Do you want me to call 911?" I was guessing Liam asked.
"No, no no!" Harry said frantically,"I'll take her. We wouldn't want to cause a scene."
There was a slight pause before Michael spoke,"We should probably call management and the boys before we make any decisions. I know Luke will be concerned."
"Do you really want to wait that long? She could be dying right now for all we know." Harry argued.
They were all quiet, trying to make up their minds. Damn, I would have to remind myself never to get in a real emergency with any of them. They obviously didn't know what to do.
"I think Harry should take her and we all call management while they are gone, to let them know what's going on." Liam suggested.
"Fine." Michael huffed,"I'll call Luke."
I tried not to let my lips twitch into a smile. This was seriously too easy.
Harry held my hand as I jumped up onto the crinkly paper on the bed. He had taken me to the nearest pregnancy clinic, according to Google maps. We were supposed to schedule an appointment first, but as soon as Harry took his glasses off and shot the nurse his award winning smile, we magically were next.
"I cannot thank you enough for doing this with me Harry... I seriously would have gone mental." I sighed, leaning my head against the wall.
"It's completely fine..." He trailed off before continuing,"I gather that you haven't told Luke?"
I put my face into my hands and groan,"No. You were the first person I told... I just don't know how to tell him, or if I should. This will ruin his career."
"I'm not expert on these things Emma, but if he really loves you, he will be a man and forget his career for you and your baby."
I snap my head up at him, shocked that he would even say such a thing.
"Harry, I could never ask him to do that for me! He is doing what he loves and wether I'm pregnant or not, I would want him to live his dream." I shake my head.
He shakes his head back at me,"Weather your pregnant or not, he should do what's right. And if you are pregnant, then leaving his band is what's right for his soon-to-be family."
I open my mouth to protest when the doctor walks into the room. We would have to talk about this later.
"Ms. Tramway?" the doctor glances down at his clipboard, before back up at Harry and I.
He gives me a kind smile before sitting down on his stool,"What seems to be the problem?"
I'm finally back on the bus, safe and sound. The doctor took some of my blood and said he would give me a call when the official results were in. Luke and Ashton still weren't back from recording, but Michael and Calum had already called and gotten them worked up.
We finally just told management that I drank some bad milk. I knew it was a lame excuse but it seemed to work. It's not like they cared about my safety unless it was causing problems.
I was laying down in my bunk, a little sick to my stomach for real. I was going to have to tell Luke the real reason why I left sooner or later, I just didn't know how.
Harry was in the living room, scrolling through his Twitter feed. I hadn't wanted him to leave the bus incase I broke down again. I literally could not get any of this out of my mind. It was absolute madness.
I stared up at the bottom of the bunk bed, trying to think of something else. I figured I might as well do something productive while I waited for Luke. The baby shower seemed like the only thing I could think of. Sure, I would be thinking of babies, but at least I wouldn't be thinking of my baby. If or if not I had one.
Jumping down from my bunk, I walked into the kitchen and pulled out a box from the cabinets. The boys didn't use anything except plastic dining wear, so all of the cabinets meant for cups and plates were empty. I had been using them to hide all the baby shower stuff.
I was hoping that Gemma would announce her pregnancy soon, so I wouldn't have to be so careful all the time. Grabbing the gift bags from the box, I started to insert the little invitation cards. I was done with about 15 of them, by the time I realized that my mind was still working overtime. I guess I just couldn't get any of this out of my head, like I was hoping.
Throwing the bags back into the box, I put everything but a few pregnancy magazines away. I still hadn't picked out a present for Gemma so I was hoping that maybe I would luck out with a present, without having to go to the store. I was flipping through a couple of pages when the tour bus door bursted open. We had stopped?
Luke quickly ran in, his eyes scanning the small space until they landed on me. He ran over and practically pounced on me for a hug.
"Emma thank god you're okay! I was so worried when they said you fainted, are you alright?" He said in a rush.
I bit my lip, turning away from him,"Yeah, Luke... I'm fine."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before he glanced over to my magazines. My heart leaped when I realized it was too late to hide them. His confused expression suddenly turns angry as he glares at the magazines.
"What the hell are those?" He asks, pointing at the glossy pages.
Ashton walks past us, glancing over at us nervously. I was glad he was leaving us alone. It was now or never.
"We need to talk... and I think you might want to sit down." I take a deep breath as Luke slowly sits down beside me.
I open my mouth to talk, but no sound comes out. I didn't know how I could do this to him. His blue eyes look at me patiently, waiting for me to speak. When I don't, he does.
"What is with the baby magazines all over the bus? And every time I see you and Harry talking, it's over a baby magazine. Is there something I should know, Emma?" His eyes dart everywhere but my face.
I laugh, nervously. "Luke, are you seriously saying what I think you're saying?"
He ignores my question, suddenly blurting,"Are you cheating on me with Harry?"
I almost laugh out loud at his ridiculous statement. He was as far off as you could get. I was a bit disappointed that I hadn't been more careful with the magazines, I always thought Luke wasn't paying that much attention.
I put my hands on his face. "Babe, no. I wouldn't do that. You know me, c'mon. We've been through this before."
"Okay good." He sighs in relief before blurting out another question,"Are you pregnant?"
This one I still can't answer.
"I actually don't know." I say softly.
"What?" Luke yells, his eyes growing frantic.
He's getting stressed out, running his hands through his hair and playing with his lip ring frantically. I didn't expect him to take this lightly, but I was hoping he wouldn't freak out as much as I thought he would.
"I don't know. I mean I took a test and it's probably faulty-" I started, before he cut me off.
"What was the result?" He asks, eyes closed.
I take a deep breath, telling myself that it was now or never. And I really couldn't keep this from him forever..
"Positive. But I went to a doctor and he took my blood-"
"Positive. Positive." He takes a deep breath, cutting me off again.
"I should know for sure tomorrow." I say meekly.
I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. I feel my eyes start to widen with tears and everything is now blurry. I blink the tears back, but they still struggle to rush to the surface.
I clutch my stomach, feeling sick again. "I don't want to talk about this right now."
"Who took you to the doctor?" Luke asks, ignoring me.
He looks at me, waiting for an answer that I hoped I wouldn't have to give him. I knew I shouldn't have told anyone!
"Harry did. I told him because-"
"You told him before you told me? What the hell Emma?!" Luke was up out of his chair now, his hands up in the air.
I burry my face in my hands, trying to calm myself down. I knew it was going to be like this, but what did I expect?
"I'm sorry! Okay, I knew you would react like this Luke, you always act for yourself, never wondering about anyone else!"
A look of betrayal flashes across his face and I instantly regret it. Shit, why'd I say that? Harry walks in the room with a look of concern on his face.
"Luke, man, back off. She feels bad enough about it." Harry snaps.
Luke growls, running over to Harry with his fist ready to fight. I quickly run and grab Luke, pulling him behind me. I would not have this conversation end in a fight.
"Luke, leave it alone!" I begged him.
"No! He's trying to steal you by getting you pregnant!" He shouts in my face.
I take an automatic step back, appalled that he would accuse Harry of something like this. I already told him that I didn't cheat on him. The look of horror on my face was enough to tell him that that was a complete lie. He reaches out for me, but I just smack his hand away. I couldn't believe he would think I would do something that low.
I back off, pushing Harry aside to run to my bunk. I climb in and shut the curtains closed, before slamming my face into my pillow. I hear Luke and Harry talking and suddenly, it all goes quiet. Then I hear the sickening crack.
I hear her sobbing quietly in her bunk. I felt horrible for accusing her of anything like that. I knew she would never, but I couldn't stop to think for a second.
Emma, I'm so sorry. I love you.
"Look Luke, you better step up, because if you don't take good care of Emma, and you don't love her enough, I will. Even though she would never cheat on you, I'm starting to think that you might not be good for her. I don't care if she's pregnant or not, I think I am falling in love with her and I'll do whatever it takes to get what is best for her. And right now buddy, you are not it." Harry says, his hand on my chest, almost threatening me.
So, I decide to punch him in the face.
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