velvet lips & the eyes to pull me in { a danisnotonfire fanfiction ]

dan howell. twenty-two. youtube star.
lia rhys. twenty. student.

'his voice was vaguely familiar, his eyes able to pierce you with one cold stare.'

why can't the past, just stay as the past?


1. dan.

a.n; hola baminos and welcome to this fanfiction, i hope that you will enjoy it, which i have no doubt that you will. whale, im eden and i like music and youtubers a little too much, id much rather be inside on a sunny day than outside. but hey, this isn't about me so bye n-n


'thank you loving me for who i am, thanks for making me laugh and smile when i’m sad or have a bad day. you’re always on my mind - you’re all i want, all i need. you’re my whole entire world. you know i love you and i tell you everyday to remind you, but you’ll never know how much i love you because my love for you can’t be expressed in words. i know i’m not the best and because of this small fact i believe that it is my time to leave you. im eternally sorry daniel, i just can't keep watching myself drag you down in this way.'


forty eight months later.

They say that once you’re gone, you’re never coming back, once you jump you crash and fall. I felt the cold Berkshire breeze push against my body, willing it over the edge. My eyes scanned over at the place I had called home for so many years. Nothing left to entice me back there anymore. I’m an empty shell of who I used to be, thanks to that cocksucker called love. I took a final breath and closed my eyes.

"And Lia, this ones for you." I shouted at the top of my lungs, crying by now, my body telling me to stop but my mind telling me to continue crying. I felt one foot linger over the edge, the other soon following as my body plummeted to the ground beneath me. As my face grew closer to the ground, my eyes slammed shut and the eternal slumber that I had willed for welcomed me. I haven't ever doubted that she would have wanted me to - she broke me and left like nothing happened. Two years of my life I gave to her, she was my world, my sun, my moon and all of my stars in one little package, one which I could never lose. But I did, I lost the only thing that mattered to me, I pushed away friends and family, Phil was nothing more than a distant memory and a person to provide me with things, YouTube was nothing more than a chore, no passion, no love for creating videos anymore.

At least it's all over now.

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