Love Me

"Love me for who I am, not what I am"

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33. part 2

"She's gone..." I whispered to myself while I sat in my room crying, I haven't gone to school in 3 weeks but my mom is forcing me today. I haven't seen anyone since That night... I can't even look at her mom because I break because I feel like it was my fault that I couldn't keep her in the world and god it hurts to know my best friend is gone.

I walked in the hall heading towards my locker my black vans sliding against the grown while all eyes were on me. "LEXI" I heard the boys scream but I couldn't look up. I felt their arms lock around me while I buried my face into calums chest. "We missed you " they whispered but I just held on tighter not being able to say anything.

"I- i miss her " I sobbed but I pulled away and whipped my tears, I can't cry "I need to get to class. See you there" and I headed back down the hall not daring to look at the candles and pictures on her locker.

-

I walked in quietly hearing gasps and whispers of me actually being here. I couldn't look up to the green eyes burning holes in me, I've been ignoring him well everyone. "Ms.hotts we've missed you" the teacher speaks softly, I just nod and sit in a seat in the back and in the corner. My heart is hurting and I'm trying to hide it but it's so hard to see everyone's face.

"You missed it lexi we had a ceremony for it like a small one honestly I don't know why we did because suicide is a selfish thing in my eyes and it shouldn't be celebrated" mr. King spoke In his prudy voice making me glare at him and Stand up about to walk out.

"What kind of sick bastard are you? We tell people to be happy and when they do something that will make them happy you call them selfish?! Suicide isn't selfish it's escaping pain these people have caused so you can keep your opinion to yourself because no one wants to hear a damn word you have to say" I yell. "I'll be transferring out of your class because I won't sit here and be taught by a man who will sit there and have the guts to wonder why we would hold a ceremony for a girl who killed herself because half of these kids in this fucking school thought they were better then her and couldn't go a day without putting her down and told her that no one cared when actually some one did"

and I walked out going straight to the bathroom I ran into the big stall and broke down balling my eyes out.

I felt the strong arms around me in seconds looking into his hard eyes but softening at my tears. "I'm sorry" he whispered rocking with me while he held me.

"She- she's gone" I choked out slamming my head into his chest " I miss her... I need her " I whimpered before her picked me up bridal style my face not leaving his chest and he carried us out of the school with eyes on him until he reached his car placing me in the seat.

" Take me to yours please" I whispered as he hoped in starting the ignition he nodded rubbing my thigh while I looked out the window.

-

I cried all night until I was numb, Harry held me threw it all telling me everything will be okay and he's here.

"Her note.." I whispered

"I'm sorry for what I've done but I couldn't hold on to this pain anymore. I'll miss you guys and I love you.

I was told that this would get better and you could win this battle if you wanted It but I couldn't I wasn't strong enough I couldn't fight anymore but lexi... Thank you so much for giving me hope, for being there when I needed it I love you and you will always be my best friend." I read the part she wrote for me not be able to read the rest.

I walked outside of his bedroom walking towards his living room seeing him laying on the couch.

"Harry?" I whispered my eyes watering again god I'm a mess. He looked up at me before I broke yet again and fell to my knees

"will you hold me?" I whimpered and that's what he did

I know this is sucky but I just thought I should post a chapter and right now lexi is really fragile as you can see but it's hard for her

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