Deep Dark Secret


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1. The Secret

She had told me she didn't love him, she said she would leave him for me. She lied to me and to him. She had never told him about me, she said that she could leave and he would never have to know.

Then one day I went round to her house and she was acting strangely, she said she never wanted to see me again that she loved him more than me; I knew she was lying but I was too contorted with sadness that I did not argue. In a fit of rage she shouted out what had caused her to act out of character.

And that is why I walked along the cold shiny wet pavement on Halloween night; treading through the crisp autumn leaves to my destination. I could see the house from where I stood, the light was on in the living room. I imagined her red hair but the image of his deep black hair clouded my mind. I heard him call to her, telling her to get the camera (one of her delightful muggle contraptions I loved hearing her talk about.)

I could see little puffs of coloured smoke through the curtains billowing out of James Potter's wand. Then I saw him, the child. The child so blissfully unaware of his identity not yet haunted by his true self. I had never seen him as Lilly had said I couldn't. It angered me that the child looked so much like James except for his eyes, his deep green eyes just like his beautiful mothers.

Then the living room door opened and in came a cascade of golden red hair, flicking and swirling round Lilly's shoulders. James looked up and a large smile crept upon his face. Lilly lent down and kissed him and then the child's head. I suddenly felt rage in my body. He had what I could have had.

If Lilly had told James it could have been me holding the baby, my smile that appeared when looking at the love of my life. Her kiss that graced my lips, I would be hearing those three words that I was so used to hearing yet longed for them to grace my ear buds. I suddenly knew what I wanted to do. What I had to do to have my dream life. Lilly had picked up the child and took him into the hall probably to bed. I could do this so easily and she would never know it was me. I unlocked the door with a flick of my wand and the man came running into the hall way, a look of panic flashed on his face as he told Lilly to take the child and run. He shielded the stairs as if that was going to help.

"You will not hurt my son" James said trying to stop me passing. I threw my head back and laughed, his son! Had he known nothing, I narrowed my eyes before telling him the truth that would have hurt him. I cast him aside before I could see his reaction.

I stepped over his body and walked up the stairs. I could hear Lilly attempting to barricade the door shut. That wouldn't work I threw open the door and gazed around the room and saw her cowering in front of the child's crib.

"Where's James?" She cried out.

"He said it was his child, you never told him" I replied

"I told you that you could never see him"

"You cant lie anymore Lilly!"

"Tom, we cant be together"

"I've come to see my son"

"He will never be your son!" At this I saw red and with a flick of my want my love was lay on the floor the colour drained from her eyes. The baby started to cry, I walked over to him and picked him up, he stopped as soon as I did so and sang him a lullaby he fell asleep and I placed him back in his cot.

I could only see James's appearance in the boys face. and so I decided to end the child as well. Suddenly I felt as though I was being ripped apart, my insides became outside and my heart was plunged into a bowl of iced water.

I didn't know then what Harry would grow up to be, and how much I would want to kill him in order to get my love back.

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