#Afraid

I was always afraid of something; I felt it in my bones. But to actually be cornered like that, especially in a hallway, makes me more afraid than anything. Was he really going to hurt me? What exactly happens here and at the high school? I'm so...afraid. That is until he came around; the first time he spoke to me was protecting. It was nice...and when he kissed me? That definitely took me by surprise. But how far, exactly, will this go? Will my past ruin everything I have?

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6. Chapter 6

"I don't know. I do-" I stop him by putting my lips on his. Which completely takes him by surprise, as do me. 
Instead of pulling away, Harry kisses me back. I open my mouth a little, giving him access to my tongue. Before I allow this to get any deeper, I pull back. I feel so frazzled; I can't do this again, yet I want to forget my past and just kiss him.

"Damn it!" I yell.

"What?" He looks so confused.

"I-I can't do this." I storm out of the room and run to my car. Opening the door, I sit in the drivers seat and hit my head on the steering wheel. "I HATE YOU! YOU RUINED ME!" I scream.

I hear the passenger door open and hear Harry's voice begin to speak.

"Why did you kiss me?" He's being serious. 
"Sorry okay? That was a mistake that should've never happened." I sob. 
"What's wrong, Val?" He asks, still being serious.

"It's nothing." I tell him.

"Tell me." He pushes.

"You don't want to know." I cry.

"Yes I do." I can't tell him. "Fine. Then stop hanging around me and find a fucking therapist."

"Wait." I lock the doors. "I'll tell you."

It's takes me a good five minutes to recover from crying. It's really nice how Harry just sits there and waits patiently.

"Okay. About two years ago, we lived in Georgia and I went to a party one night. I had a boyfriend; he was nice and sweet and I thought he was everything I ever wanted, I ever needed." I smile. "But things changed within about four months after we started dating; he changed. He started to do drugs, rob stores, he actually got arrested once."

"And you stayed with him?" He asks.

"I didn't know this until after we broke up. Anyway, at the party, he got me alone in a room with him. At first we were just making out and messing around. But then he started getting rough. I tried to stop him, I wasn't ready and he knew that. But, but no it was all his way. He told me 'i was ready when he was. That's just the way things are'. Of course I tried to stop him. I actually smacked him in the face and ran out the door." 
"However, I ran into one of his friends and he brought me back into the room."

"You can stop." He says.

"No. I want you to hear everything. So now him and his friend were in the room. His friend had a needle and this drug that calmed me down and it was as if I was drunk. So it made me agree to everything they did; even though my mind was screaming for help. I felt like I was drowning in my thoughts. No one could here me. I saw everything and felt everything they did to me." Harry interrupts.

"Val-"

"Harry," I look at him with watery eyes, "they raped me over and over again. For what seemed like forever. Of course my friend found me and called my parents and the police. He told my parents that I was drunk and came onto them. He said that I was the one who wanted to do it." Anger takes over. "And every time I look at him, I hope one day he will die; I hope one day he will feel my pain."

"Who was it?" I can see it in his face; he knows exactly who I'm referring to.

"Cody."

A few minutes has passed. Harry is still in my car. How does Harry know Cody?

"How did you know?" I ask.

"He told me he met a girl a whole back and that he had sex with her and he told me your name." He explains. "And when you came to school here, I told him not to touch you."

"Why?" I know he sleeps with a lot of girls.

"Look, I know you know I sleep with a lot of girls. But when he threw you against the wall, I knew what kind of person he really was." He says. "How didn't you know at first?"

"When he threw me against the wall, and he told me his name, it took me a while to realize it was him." I say.

"I am so sorry that happened to you." Before I can say anything else, my phone rings.

"Hello?" I hold up my finger to tell Harry 'give me a minute'.

"Hey Val. It's Vivienne." Finally.

"Hey. What's up?" I ask.

"Um.." I can tell she's starting to cry. "Zayn, he broke up with me."

"What?" I can't believe this.

"And there's more." I interrupt.

"Can I call you back, my dad's calling."

"Sure." And she hangs up.

I turn back to Harry. 
"So I'm sorry for kissing you. It's just, I don't know who to trust anymore. But uhm, I'd like you to know that;" I stutter, "I have feelings for you Harry."

He looks at me dumbfounded. "Funny you should say that." He smirks; he seems scared? "I kissed Vivienne last night." He blurts out.

"What? So you let me believe that I could actually trust you and let me fall for you. Thanks." He doesn't move.

"Please I'm-" he begins.

"NO! GET OUT! Don't sit here like you give a shit about me! Get out and get out of my life!" I scream and he obliges.

The whole car ride home I was sobbing continuously. I can't believe I actually liked that dick. As soon as I get home, I go straight to my room and lock the door; hoping to escape in sleep.

Harry's POV

"NO! GET OUT! Don't sit here like you give a shit about me! Get out and get out of my life!" She screams. Of course I'm going to listen; I feel bad enough right now. 
But I do give a shit about her. When Cody told me what he did with Valerie, I thought he was like me: get an attractive girl to sleep with him. No biggy right? But to listen to what had actually happened just shattered me. Back to when Valerie first came to Sacramento high, I he pointed her out and she looked hot in sweat pants. There was something about her that I couldn't shake; and now I know, I actually liked her. Not just for a little while and then flicked it off. No, I liked her. Like I had to be in every fucking room with her. After homeroom that day, I went to the office to try and get some classes with her. I wanted to protect her from Cody. I knew his plan that he told Zayn and Niall. He was going to use her again and again until she was forced to be with him; until she was so fucking afraid to leave him that she had to stay to keep from being harmed. Yes I know that raping is harming, but so is drugging her or having someone pin her to a wall while he threw knives at her when he was drunk. He told them every bit of his plan to keep her his. Well, force her to be his. He's a fucking psychotic rapist.

It takes everything in me not to go to his fucking house and beating the shit out of him. That is...
"Hey man. I just broke up with Viv. Thanks for kissing her! You know I actually liked her." Zayn says.

"No you didn't. You only wanted to get laid. Shut the fuck up!" I shout.

"Wow. Who got you in a pissful mood? Why don't you go fuck that chick Val?" If he doesn't shut up..

"Or maybe I will. I could have easily done it earlier before you showed up." He smirks. 
"You know what Zayn, Cody isn't like us okay? He raped her!" I scream.

"Okay? He raped her. But it was her fault right?"

"No! It wasn't! She was drugged against her will! God your an idiot!"

"Oh. I'm sorry. Were still cool, yeah?"

"I'm leaving!" And I'm out the door and on my way to Cody's house.

****
Val's POV

When I wake up that night, I lazily get out of bed. I hated the last few hours; it's supposed to be a good day, but after what I found out from Harry earlier I feel crushed. Now I know I could never trust him again. 
I go into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee to ease the pain. I knew I couldn't trust another guy ever again after the Georgia incident.

"Hello" my dad says.

"Hey dad." I reply.

"Did you find your stuff?" He asks.

"Yes. I did. Is there something bothering you?" I question.

"I heard that Cody goes to your school. You know, that kid who you-" is he really doing this now?

"Dad! I didn't do anything! It wasn't my choice! When will you open your eyes and believe me!" I shout.

"I know what happened." He cannot know the truth, he's been holding the lie for so long now.

"Do you? Do you know that Cody raped me? Do you know that his friend drugged me? Do you know that I was begging for someone to come through the bedroom doors and pretty much murder him? Do you know? I'm pretty sure you don't." I'm fighting the tears back.

"Wow, now I know for sure you're in denial." What the actual hell!

"Screw you!" I grab my keys and walk to the door. Before I exit the apartment, I flip my father off and run to my car. I drive all the way to Zayn's beach fighting the tears then whole time. 
I cannot believe he doesn't believe me still! He actually thinks I'm a whore whose in denial. What a nice dad I have. Actually, father, he doesn't deserve to be my dad. A real dad would take his daughters side, but no not him. And I forgot my phone. Nice! I just want to forget my past and present and my whole life. I just want to start over; to get away and start a new life. One that I create, not ruled by my parents all the flipping time. It's like one baby step sends me twenty steps back. I end up stopping at a liquor store and get a bottle of Vodka. The old man sitting at the counter doesn't ask for my age or drivers license. So I just pay for the alcohol and head back to my car. I start to drive to Zayn's house again. By the time I reach his beach, it's already ten thirty. 
"SCREW SCHOOL!" I shout at the ocean and throw sand at nothing.

I take out the Vodka and open the bottle. I take two gulps at a time. Letting the liquor burn my throat; it feels good in a sense. The last time I drank was two weeks after the incident. I take two more gulps. I look over at Zayn's house a get an idea. Walking over to the garage, I find spray paint and a crow bar. I take both items and the Vodka and walk over to my car; I get in and drive. On google maps, I google Cody's address and drive over to his house. 
When I pull up in the drive way, I gulp down nearly half the bottle of Vodka and take the spray paint and crow bar and get out. Using the crowbar first, I smash the windows of his house. Then once I'm inside, I spray paint all of the walls and furniture. Opening all of his cabinets, I find a bottle of Brandy. I shift it in my hands before deciding to drink it. I hear noise from inside a room. Then I see a sleepy Cody walk out from the hallway.

"What the fuck is this!" He screams.

"SCREW YOU!" I cry/scream. "I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"

"Get the fuck out now!" Before I realize what I'm doing, I run over and kick him in the balls. Once he looks crippled, I run over to grab the crowbar. After taking another sip from the Brandy, I hit him with the bar several times.

"I WILL NOT LET YOU RUIN MY LIFE! I WON'T BE AFRAID ANYMORE!" I scream repeatedly. I can hear police cars in the distance now, probably from the neighbors. 
Before I can hit Cody again, the door swings open. Harry?

"Go away!" I throw the brandy at him, but miss. 
"What the hell happened?" He seems scared. 
I run back into the kitchen and find a box of matches. Pouring the rest of the vodka on Cody, I light a match.

"You know I dreamed of this day!" Still crying, I'm shouting, my mind drowned in liquor. 
"Val, don't do this." He tried to help me. 
As soon as the police men rush in, I drop the match.

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