Uncontrollable

In a future reality, Tari whiteness a glimpse of her future life. But she struggles to change it for the benefit of herself and others. For the 2014 July NaNoWriMo. Prequel fan fiction for Matched by Allie Condie.

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5. Making Up

When I woke up, let's just say that I felt like crap.

I got up, stretched, made myself a piece of toast, but instead of getting ready for the day, I dragged a blanket to my couch and curled up underneath it.

I tried not to think about last night. Instead, I decided to replay the minutes right after the simulation. 

"The feed played too long, into Zade Cane's reality. I don't know how much she saw," the man had said. What did that mean?

There was some sort of feed? Did he mean that whatever she injected into my arm caused my future to become evident to my brain?

But then, how could it be Zade's reality if it was part of mine, as well? And why would they have acted so worried about it?

Unless that part of the simulation was not part of my future.

They had called Zade through right after me. Maybe... maybe I wasn't supposed to see it because they weren't supposed to show me.

I considered the idea. It made sense; they would have a separate simulation for all the different people, all strung together on the same feed. They would just press "play" or "pause" whenever someone came or went.

But that also got me thinking, how would they know our future?

 

I was interrupted from my thoughts by a light knock on my door.

Assuming it was Sathe, I considered not answering. I really didn't want to see him. But I knew that I should act like nothing had happened last night for the time being. So I answered the door.

To my surprise, it wasn't Sathe who was standing there, it was Zade.

He wore only a simple t-shirt and khaki shorts. Nothing much, but it suited him.

He looked down at me. He was so tall! "Uh, hi..." 

I quickly reached behind the door and grabbed a sweater from the hook, wrapping it around my bare arms. "Hey."

"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you're ok. I mean, last night you went a little, uh-"

"Yeah, it's fine. And I'm really sorry. I was a little freaked out."

"So, you weren't making that up?"

I hesitated. It would be so much kinder to him if I told him I was delirious; he wouldn't worry. But that was wrong. That would be a lie. "No." I said finally. "I really saw you..."

"Oh. Ok. Thanks." He started to turn away, but I stepped forward.

"Uh, I'm sorry, really, I just..."

Zade turned back to me, his head cocked to the side. "What are you sorry for? If what you saw was true, you might've just saved my life." He patted my shoulder. My skin tingled under his touch; I wasn't used to anyone other than Sathe touching me. "Thank you."

With that, he turned and walked away.

I was about to close the door when Sathe rounded the corner and opened it again. 

He shot me a meek smile. "Hey."

I wasn't sure how to react to him being here, and I ended up just mumbling, "Hi."

"I wanted to see how you were. You were acting a little strange last night."

I nodded. "I'm fine now."

"Mm. I assume the injection was affecting you somehow."

His theory did make sense; I didn't usually get so emotional or crazy. 

"Can I," he motioned to past the door, "you know, come in?"

"Yeah, sure." I stepped back, and he followed me into the room. We sat on the couch.

Our knees touched. I assumed they usually did, but I just never noticed it before.

"What do you remember," he asked, "about last night?"

I paused for a moment, staring at the carpet underneath my bare feet, pondering how much to tell him.

Finally I decided that, as he was pretty much my entire future, I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Well, I remember waking up, and making some cider." He nodded. "And then, I thought about how Zade had died, and I just had to warn him, what if he had been dying right then and I could've saved hin? And then I remember passing out in his doorway, and waking up here." Sathe considered this silently. "Does he know what will happen? Did I warn him?"

"Yes," he said.

"Ah, good," I said, falling back against the couch.

--

He smirked at me a little, before following suit.

"So, today's Break," Sathe said. I hadn't realized that. "What do you want to do?" 

"Stay at home," I answered without hesitation. "Sleep."

"Well, now, you're moving fast."

"Oh, shut up, I didn't mean with you."

He laughed, a low, clear sound that I always liked hearing. "Then what will you do with me?"

"Well, before we do anything, I need to get dressed," I said, standing up.

"With me?!" he gasped, fainting shock.

"No!" I shouted, picking up a magazine from the floor, rolling it up quickly, and bopping him on the head with it. "Wait here."

I went into my room. Before I started changing, though, I sat on the bed, smiling to myself. How quickly we had gone back to being friends.

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