You were mine for the summer.

Its Summer, she's finally back together with her friends after a whole school year. They do what they'll normally do during the summer, hang out and have fun. But this summer is different when she meets him.
Would it be more than a summer fling?

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4. Kiss me like you wanna be loved.

Its chapter four!

 

 

 On getting to my house the girls were already waiting for me, they didn’t even let me get changed before demanding for the full details of events. I told them everything I could remember and the fact that he understood sarcasm obviously satisfied them. The fact that he like writing, reading and acting as much as I did was a miracle and it was definitely no coincidence and then I told them that I got one of his books which I was planning to read as soon as possible. We all agreed we were all gonna read it together, starting tonight after we made dinner for mum. When mum came back about 30mins later we were still talking about him and then she asked why I was dressed up and I told her I just went to see a friend.

We stayed in the sitting room till she had dinner, watched the 10 o’clock news and then went to bed before we retreated to my room. We started reading his book, a chapter each. I started the reading obviously, on getting to the 12th chapter I got an idea about what he probably thought about love. The others didn’t know it was about his personal experience and I didn’t tell them until we finished reading it the next day. When I told them they were so shocked and continuously muttered “why would someone do that to him.” “why would someone intentionally break his heart.” all I could think about was that he didn’t deserve that kind of heartbreak and I felt pain for him because I guessed he would have been so hurt. After we had debated the whole book, we came to a decision that he probably didn’t believe in love anymore and he probably won’t let himself fall in love with anyone else. That realisation killed me a tiny bit, so he wasn’t ever gonna let his guards down? So he would always be protective? I immediately came to the conclusion that I was gonna try to change that, not considering how I would.

As days went by, I talked to him more often and he came to my house at some point. We started to get more comfortable with eachother and one day when I went over to his house and there was no one at home, we were talking about stuff and then silence. He just looked at me, started to gradually move closer till his lips were about 1cm away from mine, I thought he was gonna kiss me then but he wouldn’t let himself go. He pulled back and dropped his head, and then he wouldn’t look at me. I took the moment to ask him about his previous relationship, the look on his face showed that he didn’t want to talk about it but he said he didn’t mind.

About 3hours later when he finished, I was literally in tears with eyeliner running down my face. He looked like he was gonna start crying aswell but he didn’t. I felt like he was blocking his emotions and wouldn’t let himself get emotionally affected by anything anymore. Even after he finished we just sat there in silence for about an hour and just then I realised I was in love with him. But there was a huge wall between us, it would take some effort and dedication to make him change his mind about love and relationships. I mean you don’t exactly take it lightly when you’re in love with someone who is only with you for your money and sells the promise ring you gave her to pay for her boyfriends house rent, and then you find out that she already duped you of over half of your college trust fund. I couldn’t feel his pain, I could only imagine how heartbroken he felt. And now there was a wall of protection built so high that no one could climb it, protecting him from such event ever happening again.

I didn’t think he was doing it intentionally but he just couldn’t stop himself even if he tried. After contemplating and debating whether to, I finally asked “Are you ever gonna let yourself fall in love ever again? Is there like the slightest possibility of that ever happening?” I secretly dreaded his answer to this question because I already guessed the answer wouldn’t be what I exactly wanted to hear. “I can’t let myself fall in love anymore. I won’t make myself vulnerable again. Love isn’t something I can feel anymore. I’ve been hurt too much to even think of trying again.” he wouldn’t make eye contact with me while he spoke and when he finished he gave me a kiss on my forehead, I cherished that moment because I thought that might be the furthest he’d ever go. Later that night he walked me home and when he got to the gate of my house he did the same damn thing again! That same thing happened again! It just felt so painful.

He was so close but yet still so far away, I could feel his breath on my lips, I thought he might actually let himself go this time around but he pulled back. I felt to just grab him and force a kiss on him but I didn’t wanna go that far. For minutes we just stood outside my house, staring into each others eyes, the silence spoke for itself. I was attached to him and I think he was starting to develop the tiniest feelings for me aswell but he just wouldn’t get himself to admit it and that really hurt me. I wasn’t crying but I could feel tears rolling down my cheek, he stretched out his thumb to wipe my tears off but I just grabbed his hand instead and wouldn’t let him touch me, there was tension, I made him look into my eyes. I didn’t say a word but he replied saying “Please don’t make me.” His voice tugged at my heart, he was pleading with me and his inner self. I really just wanted to make him do it but that would have been very selfish of me to do and I didn’t want to just think about it so I just hugged him and said goodnight. He didn’t move while I walked into my house and even when I got inside he was still standing there, after a few minutes he walked towards my gate but then walked away.

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