Keeping Secrets

All Aileen ever wanted was to forget. You shouldn't need to be told; death doesn't make good memories. Moving to Beacon Hills has placed more stress on the mental locks that hold all of Aileen's secrets, and there's no telling what will come to the surface. Will she fall deeper into her hopeless pit or rise up with others like her?
*Teen Wolf Fanfiction*

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7. Prevaricate

(Season one Episode seven)

"I don't owe you anything." Deaton's words pierce my heart. What else am I supposed to do to get him to help me. I can't spend the rest of my life being tortured by Steven. It's stupid how people can say one thing and somehow drain all the hope from you. 

"What else could I possibly do for you?"

"Do you really want to know?" I turn away unable to answer, I didn't want to know what I had to do to get help, but I needed it, "Go in there and make sure everyone is safe. Fix this mess you made."

"The mess I made? I'm not an idiot, I would never made up  a plan as stupid as this."

"If you do go you might want to check on Derek while you're at it. He might not be so dead if you know what I mean." no Deaton, I'm pretty sure Derek's dead.

"You don't actually expect me to do this do you?"

"Do you really want my help?"

"Fine." I move closer to the school trying to figure out if anyone is still there. I would like it more if I didn't die tonight.

           I wait before heading into the school. I want to make sure no one is out there, whether or not they would like to talk or just fight. I don't feel too happy with checking Derek's body to make sure he's dead. But I do in the end. I'd wasted to much time already stalling. I crawl my way over to the wall which Derek landed nearby. 

            I could smell the blood before I could even see the body. The smell was sickening, it made my pepsin rise. Come to think of it though, my stomach isn't hurting like it should be if Derek is dead. I should be bending over like a question mark right now if he were dead... or dying. I get to the corpse, sorry, the body, and inch ever so closely to it. There was that unsettling situation going on in my head. What if he tries to kill me, what if he is dead, is it even him? Who am I kidding, who else could it be.

           I pull the body onto it's back knowing I can't tell their identity from the side, not knowing of what I will see. Relief floods through me as I see that it is Derek, however, the feeling is soon chased away once I realize just how much blood there is. That is if you could even call it blood. It was more like the black gunk I've become all to familiar with.

            I'm looking for something to tell me Derek is alright, that he is healing or is at least breathing, but there isn't anything noticeable. Then again, if I could make judgments by the way he looked I'd say he'd be alright. There is still color in his face. I can't tell if the color is draining from his face or it's staying constant, but I can't really say-

"Oh my god!" I jump back from Derek as he gasps for breath his eyes opening in sheer terror for a second, causing me terror, "Goodness, it's like you woke up from a yearlong sleep, or you were just saved from being drowned, or... my god I'm talking to myself now."

           I step away from him before he slips into full consciousness and head into the school. The door was open as if I was supposed to enter. The walk into the school was like the walk to my death. The long hallways welcome me to the afterlife and, I feel like at the end of the hall there will be someone or something that has been waiting for me to return. My family, fate, destiny. they could all be calling me back to them right now. Calling me to death, but I am just too scared. I've worked all of my life to live.

"Hello, is anybody..." I hear the sound of a car slowly drive into the school lot. Who could possibly be coming here at this time. I scatter into hiding before the first figure walks through the doors. I hide near the bathrooms and wait for the right time to move. Unfortunately one figure turned into another, and yet another before the footsteps pasted. And even then they weren't gone. I had to rush into the bathroom, thanking the lord the doors weren't locked, because the unidentified had gotten too close.

           I hold my breath as I listen for the people outside of the bathroom door to leave. But they don't. If anything they are getting closer. Their voices hardly audible, yet I still can tell I've heard the voices before. They were students, and I heard their voices all the time.

"-you kidding me? You have to use the bathroom now?"

"Yes now...problem with my performing a basic biological function?" Oh no, oh no. I back up in the bathroom looking at all of the stalls. Which one is least likely to be walked into. Just hurry my mind yells. I head into the third stall.

"... I'm starting to have a problem with all of your functions." I know that annoying voice. The jerk! My mistake, Jackson.

            The door opens and I cover my mouth with my hand willing myself to stop breathing all together. I can't say the same about heart though. It continues to beat with such compassion?; it goes against my well being. I see the figures' legs walk around the bathroom trying to depict which stall is the most sanitary to use. One that has a lock as well. She... or I believe it is a she considering they are in the girls bathroom, paces around for a good three minutes or so before stopping right in front of my stall. Her hand starts to push it open. Of all the stalls in this bathroom she picks the one I'm in. Probability for me is fifty fifty no matter what the scenario.

"Oh my god!" Those were the only words I was going to let into my ears, because as soon as it happened I screamed, which also caused her to scream. Then I realize who it was, which is sad because it was pretty obvious.

"Lydia?" I question.

"Oh my god, it you... the vagrant."

"Ouch." I respond wondering why she would consider me a beggar. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for Allison, she got a text from Scott. But I think the real question here is why you are hear."

"Oh, um... I got a text too." I lie. Goodness I can't make that more obvious.

"Really," she says pulling out my phone which I never knew she had gotten and scrolls through my texts. She scoffs and tosses my phone back to me with no care in the world about my personal items, curious of why she would react with no clear expression she knows I'm lying, I look through my texts, "I thought Scott and Allison were seeing each other."

"They are, aren't they? You of all people should know. Why are you asking?" I realize I did get a text from Scott, of course the wrong number though.

"Just 'cause, so what do you mean when you say  of all people should know if Allison was seeing Scott."

"You're her best friend it's pretty self explanatory."

"I am? Like she would ever tell me anything  though, right?" Lydia says starting up her stupidity act. I roll my eyes and wash my hands before leaving the restroom. These places just aren't sanitary.

           I took me so long as leaving the bathroom to feel the pain of the dead upon me. This couldn't be good. I search for Jackson only to see him upon walking a few yards away from the bathroom. He looked freaked. Next to him was the dark eyed raven waiting to wail out all of the bad news. Fucking harbingers.

"What did you see?" I ask. In response he turned, clearly surprised to see me.

"You mean the sight that freaked me out. Look in the mirror." My gosh, these people really hate me.

"Where'd you get that one, a history book." I need to control my anger.

"Did you find them?" Lydia's voice seems to grab my attention almost immediately. I wish she wasn't so loud.

"No, no."

"Nope." I feel like I should respond as well, but the gesture only gave me raised brows and scowls in return. I throw my arms up in the air in annoyance of how disliked I am to them, "How about you call them."

"That's actually not a bad idea." Jackson replies.

"Thank god." finally some approval.

"I'm going to call Allison right now, Aileen, you can call Scott if you want since-

"He doesn't have a phone."

"Well then, lead us somewhere less dark, this place is creeping me out." She replies phone to her ear ready for an answer from Allison. 

"Where should I go?" I whisper to Jackson, who just rolls his eyes in return, "I haven't  physically been at the school long enough to know where to go when in the dark." Jackson sighs and then leads the way to a "less creepy" area of the school.

            We're going through the course Jackson has set in his head to get to an area with the most windows when our thought's and confusion are interrupted by the by the sounds of hushed voices."Lydia, call her again." Jackson spits out clearly frustrated we haven't found them yet, "Now!"

"Alright, hold on a sec it's ringing."

            We switch courses and head to the lobby. One of the few places I'm actually familiar with. We emerge from a hallway to see Allison, Scott, and Stiles. I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding.

"Finally. Can we go now?" Lydia says, she, clearly, had been saving a breath of her own as well. However, we all take another deep breath in as a deep screeching sound comes from the pipes and ceiling above us.

"Run!" The courage of Scott seems to take over him as he leads his friends away from danger. But is it really danger.

            I back up to the point where I bang my head on the glass of the trophy case. I take hardly a second to look at them all and I can tell something is off about them. I can't put my finger on it though because as soon as the thought touches the tip of my tongue the ceiling comes crashing down and the alpha appears before me. I gasp unable to stop myself and the creature turns to me and grabs me by the jaw looking me over. I do the same. The structure of the animal, similar to Derek's but more familiar, I had seen it before, somewhere. I look into it's eyes, and the answer hit me like a ton of bricks. But to be fair, I'd always known. Peter. Just because he wasn't there didn't mean he wasn't there.

"Peter?"

           His claws sink into the back of my neck and the pain I feel is surprisingly bearable. The worse pain had been in the past. And just like that the records clicked into play. My eyes roll into the back of my head and the images fly past me like I'm living through them all again, but in a dream. It was normal for me to dream of the final moments, but this was much more vivid. Each breath was the same, each second, but I couldn't wake myself up before the end happened. The screams make me go deaf. I am blinded with all of the blood and the pale faces. I'm scared with the inability to touch anything. All I can taste and smell is the rotting bodies scattered across the floor, and the blood I'm chocking on.

           The claws retract from my neck and I'm welcomed back into the world. I fall to the floor clutching the back of my neck wondering how that just happened. How is it someone can just look into my past so easily and cause me to relive everything again? Peter wanted this. My pain gave him the power to complete his task. And now I was convinced to help him. Him seeing my pain created this bond that I felt I couldn't get away from. Like I was a dog on a leash, wishing to get away from the chains holding me down, but content with where I was if I had to be there for the rest of my life.

           Salt water touches my lip and I realize I had been crying. I wipe away the tears and face Peter once more, but he just shoves me away ready to pursue Scott. Scott is all he wanted. He wanted bloody murder, but Scott would have to be the one to commit the crime. And I was stuck as the trained dog told to stay while the food is resting right below my food. I could either dig in and be punished by my owner later or sit and wait until I am told to eat like a good dog. I shall be praised for doing the right thing.

           I hadn't realized how much I'd been longing to be praised. I'd been starved for the sweet taste of recognition, constantly believing if I would continue to be good, I would be rewarded in the most gracious of ways. But grace is for one's self and not for everyone. There isn't enough grace in the world to get me back what I want most. And the reality of it all is that if I continue to starve myself I will never live long. So I need to stop doing what other people tell me. Make a bad decision at one point so punishment will lead to new intellect.

          I rush after Scott and the others, to warn them... or at least keep them safer than they might be. Metaphorically speaking, they are trying to lock out the danger, but the danger lives inside with them. A parasite feeding on it's host. I run to the chemistry figuring it has the least amount of windows than most that I know of and wait.

           Opening the door, seeing they weren't there made me feel stupid. They know the school better than I, I'm sure they found a much more safe and secure place to make sure no one can get in and no one can escape. I move over into a corner and curl up into a ball rocking myself back and forth.

"Leto goddess of darkness watch over me." I chant over and over wishing the soon constant whisper will calm me but it doesn't. I clutch at the no longer existent necklace which had a pendent that said the same thing only so long ago. I'm sure it's still at the house where I left everything else behind.

          The door soon opens and I rush to get up onto my feet freaked. I see panicked Allison, Lydia, Stiles, and Scott hurrying to cover the door with whatever they could to keep out the immediate threat. But considering a chair against a door isn't going to keep out a super strong alpha wolf, and it's not likely to kill everyone sloppily, they really had nothing to worry about.

"What's going on, you guys-"

"Shut up." Jackson barks and I just roll my eyes. I look out of the doors small class window thing and see a figures head pass by. The room so silent, everyone seemed unwilling to breathe, even if it meant survival. As soon as the figure is out of sight, they all start talking. Asking, and attempting to answer questions like, how are we getting out of here, what's going on, and will this work. I found it funny they didn't really wait until the strange person passing right by the room they were in walked a yards away from the room they were all located in.

"Jackson, how many people can fit in you're car?"

"Five, if someone squeezes on someone's lap.

"Five? I barely fit in the back." Allison protests. I see Jackson looking me up and down and I notice there are six people here including myself. Was he seriously thinking about leaving me behind.

"Now that is low, Jackson, real low." I look him dead in the eye trying to show my hatred for him. He returned the stare much more successfully than I.

"So where did you come from, Aileen?" Lydia asks suspiciously.

"Oh, I just ran in the opposite direction than you guys did, and by the time I saw you weren't there I had already figured whoever was trying to kill us were after you guys, so I waited in here."

"Really? So why are you bugging my boyfriend about leaving people behind when you are willingly sacrificing five other people to Derek." in my defense, I didn't leave them behind, I just waited for them in another room. I was the one who had had a one-on-one with the thing trying to kill them, which was not a fun experience, but I still decided to wait for them when they could have already been out of the building and not in the classroom like I was... but whatever.

"Derek? He's the one doing this."

"Oh you don't believe the one person you talk to would do such a thing? Did you think I didn't know? I of all people know a slut when I see one, so I'll put it simply, don't even think about going near my best friends boyfriend. And my own boyfriend for that matter. Okay?" she turns and leaves before I can respond. I always knew Lydia hated me. At least now I have some sort of reason as two why. But me, a slut... really? I have a fear of taking off my jacket because there is a chance my shirt won't cover my collar bone.

           Scott figured out the best way for all of us to get out of the school alive, but it still wasn't a very good plan. As I've said before, he's not the smarted guy. He'd have to go get a key from the dead janitor. That would explain the sick feeling I had gotten earlier. Sort of ironic how it happened near the bathrooms. Am I heartless for thinking that's a bit funny.

"You can't go out there unarmed." Allison protests. Scott therefore immediately picks up a pointer stick which makes me want to laugh, but I sigh.

"He probably shouldn't go out there at all if he seriously thinks he could protect himself with that." I say. Granted he still has is inhuman like qualities of being a werewolf, but not everyone knows that so...

"Well, it's better than nothing." Scott says trying his hardest to reassure the group. It seems so long sense I've heard the sweet sound of frustration... not.

"It's really not." I whisper.

"There's got to be something else." Stiles says ready to search the room.

"There is." Lydia pipes up, her eyes glued to the cabinet of chemicals. It's sad none of us had thought of her idea, considering we were all well aware we were in a chemistry room. And we were all smart (this comment excludes Scott and Jackson).

           They make the self igniting Molotov cocktail. And Scott seems to start preparing himself mentally for his departure. It's like he knows what's coming. Allison steps up and tries to talk him out of leaving. But the alpha will keep us in here until morning if Scott doesn't go... but if that's true than he shouldn't.

"Scott." I call grabbing his arm, letting go quickly knowing Lydia is probably watching my every move, "She's right, you shouldn't go."

"I have to."

"Then, remember us, remember who you're friends are." I speak low hoping no one else will hear and be confused, but know as well the are still going to be a little uneasy about what I say. Scott responds by just nodding and leaves without the slightest hint of dread or fear. I lock the door behind him, the click of the lock seems to set me on edge.

            We wait in complete silence for Scott's return. I hope the plan is going on perfectly, without a hitch, and he's on his way back right now. But the time drags on, minutes spent wondering why he isn't back yet and if he's even still here. There are a few suggestions of whether or not we should go out and look for him, but Stiles and I manage to keep the idea from launching. Our hope was being slowly drained, but as soon as the large howl, which sounded more like a growl, came to meet up with our ears and the walls causing hem to shake, everything went to chaos. Jackson starts showing signs of pain, the usual screaming and falling to the floor clutching whatever hurts, which in this case was the back of his neck. Funny how I felt the injury to my neck sting as well. Jackson must be such a baby when it comes to pain.

           I know what the howl means, and as soon as the howl discontinued it's airing to our ears, I made my way to the door slowly trying not to arouse anyone to my intentions. 

"That didn't sound okay at all." Allison responds to Jackson's plead that he is alright.

"What's on the back of you're neck?" Stiles asks. Stiles question drew me away from the door and closer to Jackson though I knew what was most likely on the back of his neck. Derek. Yet on my way over I feel something try to warn me about the door. A harbinger. A key breaks, and Allison quickly knows, Scott has returned. But I see something else. I see the murderer, the animal side of him. She can't open that door.

"Scott! Scott!" She yells trying to get to the doorknob to unlock the door, but I jump into the way.

"You can't open the door, if it was Scott he would have a key and could open it himself, trust me it's not him."

"Yes it is. Scott!" She tries with all of her might to get past me to open the door, but I am trying just as hard to make sure she doesn't, "Scott. Scott. Scott! Aileen get out of the way. Scott!"

"Stop. Stop. Do you hear that? Listen!" Lydia says, and for some reason, that makes Allison tone down the urgency. If only I had the lungs to hold such a loud voice like Lydia

***

           The sheriff and other deputies spent the next longest part of tonight questioning us on what we saw. I could help Scott and Stiles out and say it was Derek, but I am a terrible liar, and I knew this would end up being a situation tat will cause problems in the future. So instead I just stated I had seen nothing. Partially true, and partially false. Enough to make me stutter a bit, but only enough to pass as trauma.

           The sheriff is taken away and we are told to stay put. All of us. I don't believe I've ever been content with staying still in my entire life. With all of the information I had gotten, and all the trouble it will cause in the future, it felt nice to rest.

"You know what is odd," Scott says breaking away from his conversation with Stiles and turning to me, "It's that I saw you, smelt you, heard you in the room with them, but I didn't even care."

"That's odd," I say, "I got to go, and way to tell him Derek killed everyone, that was the worst idea ever."

"Aileen wait," I turn hoping it would't take long, "Thanks, for what you said back there, it helped."

"No problem." I turn as walk over to where Deaton is sitting in the back of an emergency vehicle, "Do you owe me now?"

"The janitor is dead," I get ready to go on a rant, but he continues, "But yes. I'm sure you know the hours we are open."

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