Amnesia // a.i

"God damn it, Kaitlynn." He grabs my hand and places it over his chest, directly above his heart. "Feel it? Feel how out-of-beat and fast it is? That's what you do to me. Why can't you see how much I love you?" His eyes are glossed over.
Shit. Yes. Yes, okay, I'll admit it. I see how much he loves me, but.. But nothing, my subconscious remarks. Kiss him. I inwardly nod at my subconscious and quickly lean up and kiss him, taking him by surprise. It feels like minutes pass before we pull away from each other, both completely breathless. "Because I love you, too."
My name is Kaitlynn Stilinski. My dad abandoned my family when I was 5, and when I turned 7, my mum forced me to live in Australia with my aunt, Kathryn. This is the only story that I've ever known that was mine for once in my life; this is the story of Amnesia.

Copyright.© 2014 All rights reserved.

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3. Chapter 3.

I walk into the auditorium and take my usual seat at the back of the class. Today has been long and I have so much homework to do. Ugh. I groan at the thought of homework. Why can't they just ask a simple question? They can have everyone write down their answer, whoever is right gets their grade, and whoever is wrong still gets the same grade. School would be so much damn easier.

"Hey," Luke says, sitting in the seat beside me rather than behind me. He shrugs his backpack off of his shoulders and puts it on the floor.

"Hey." My tone is blank, emotionless, though my heart is racing a mile a minute. What the hell are you doing to me, Lucas?

"How come you didn't text me back?" His voice sounds.. sad. Sympathetic, even.

"Why do you care?" Shit. "I don't mean to sound rude or whatever, I just.. I don't know."

"S'okay,  I understand. I don't know, either." He shrugs his shoulders and focuses his attention back to the front of the room. He looks offended, wounded even, and the last sentence that rolled off of his tongue sounds more like a lie than authentic. You don't know what? You don't know why you care?

I sigh. "I'm sorry. I overslept and was in a rush all morning."

"Oh." He leans back in his seat, crossing his arms behind his head.

"You're mad?" I say, sounding more like a question rather than a statement.

"No, I'm not mad. I just... nevermind."

You just what? "Okay?"

"What?" he asks me, pulling me from my tendency of over-thinking.

"Nothing."

"Doesn't sound like nothing. What happened last night?" His tone is serious. Shit.

"Not now, Luke."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not ready to talk about it." I slouch back down into my chair and close my eyes for a brief second. I'm leaning a little too close to Luke, but honestly, I don't care. Why can't last night just be a dream? And why is he so concerned about it all?

********

I walk through the front door to my house and the smell of Creamy Mozzarella Pasta with diced chicken and broccoli feels the air. Yum. I walk through the living area and into the kitchen, stopping in my tracks as I reach the doorway. What the actual fuck?


"Hey." Luke breaks his conversation with my aunt and turns to look at me, smiling.


"What the- how the- why the-?" I can't help the stumbling over my words.


"Oh, honey, I hope you don't mind. I ran into your friend here at the store when I was getting things for dinner and suggested he come over," my Aunt Kathryn says to me.


"Why?" The annoyance in my voice is clear as glass, making Luke shift in his seat.


"Because you two are friends."


I can't help but laugh. Friends? Is that what he told her? "We're not friends." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, and the bile rises in the back of my throat. You're lying to yourself, my subconscious sneers at me. Shush. My eyes move from Aunt Kathryn to Luke, who is now staring at the counter, running his finger across the surface lazily. "Luke, that's not what I meant. I just.. I don't know."


"You never do.." His voice is low, excruciatingly sad.


"Kat, can you give us some time alone?" She nods, placing the knife back onto the countertop before exiting the room. I walk over to Luke and sit down on the bar stool next to him. "Luke..."


"No, it's fine. I get it. You don't wanna be friends."


"Luke." I pick my right hand up from the countertop and place my thumb and index finger under his chin, lifting his eyes to meet mine. "That's not what I meant. Of course I wanna be friends with you. I just.. I really don't know, this time. It's not that I don't know what I want, well that's part of it but that's not what it is. Trust me, okay?"


He nods and I pull him in for a hug. This boy is making me crazy. One minute, I'm mad at him for texting me at 4am. The next, I'm pulling him into a hug, apologizing for saying something I didn't mean.

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