Love and War

Bonnie can't help but think life would be so much easier if she didn't have to make choices. If she didn't have to choose between family or a future. If she didn't have to choose between Eli or Alfie. If she didn't have to choose between success or loyalty. If she didn't have to choose between one kind of love of the other.

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20. Twenty

"Bonnie wake up." 

My eyes snap open as I wonder who said that and hope it was Eli. I see Ebony's face looking back at me and realise I came home hours ago. I groan, going back to sleep but she rips the covers away from me. 

"Bonnie, get up." she says. "Your parents will be home soon." 

I groan again, sitting up and glaring at her. She is like my older sister so much despite the little age difference. 

"I'm up." I scowl.

She smiles sarcastically and continues to tidy the room. As soon as I stand up, she begins making my bed. I sigh, going to pick out my outfit for the day when she freezes.

"Bonnie?" she asks.

I turn to her. "What?" 

"Who's coat is this?" she mutters, holding a long, dark coat. 

I mentally kick myself even though it's not my fault. It's not Eli's fault either, I suppose we were both very tired. But this morning he must have put his coat around me instead of my own and I wore it around me to bed when I got home.

I hesitate, staring at the coat.

"It's mine."

"Bonnie, don't lie to me." she sighs, sitting down on my bed and patting the space beside her. "Come and sit down."

"Oh don't act like you're the parent here." I frown, staying where I stand. "Ebony, you made so many mistakes when you were younger than me. Don't play god here. You were a mess-"

"I was reckless and looking for trouble." she admits. "Until I met Thomas."

"And maybe Eli is my version of Thomas!" I insist. "Ebony, I'm telling you nothing bad can come from him! He is-"

"I don't want to hear about Eli." she snaps. "I'll make a deal with you, Bonnie. I'm going to let you do what you want. I'm not going to tell your parents no matter what happens, I'm not going to make you stay away from him. But I'm also not going to help you and I'm sure not going to be here when you come crying because he has broken your heart."

"He will never break my heart." I say surely.

She looks at me for a moment and then sighs heavily, shaking her head. 

"You're naive." she mutters and leaves the room.

I don't let her affect me. Perhaps she's just jealous that I'm still finding young love when she grew up way too fast. I wander to my bed and hold Eli's coat close for a moment. This is the way he feels on all of those walks. This is what I see from a distance to know he's there. This is the scent that makes me feel so much better about everything. I fold it gently and place it under my pillows, ready to return it when I see him tonight.

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