Love and War

Bonnie can't help but think life would be so much easier if she didn't have to make choices. If she didn't have to choose between family or a future. If she didn't have to choose between Eli or Alfie. If she didn't have to choose between success or loyalty. If she didn't have to choose between one kind of love of the other.

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35. Thirty five

That evening I'm sat by myself, drawing. I'm just drawing random flowers and trees and skies. It's nothing compared to what Eli can do. Ebony walks in, sighing. She sighs every time she sees me now. 

"Your mother wants to see you to discuss wedding plans." she says.

I nod. "Thank you."

She just sighs again.

Inside the study, my mother is surrounded by illustrations of wedding dresses. I really don't care about the wedding or about what dress I wear, I just want to get married. I go with it anyway because what harm is it going to do? All it's going to do is make my mother happy. My father deals with business, she deals with the pretty dresses and flowers. She squeals excitedly when she sees me. 

"Bonnie! Come and look at these dresses. You can have any one of them, any dress you want."

I shrug. "That one." I point to a random one. 

She frowns. "You can't just pick the first one you see!"

"Why not" I protest. "I like that one."

"Look at all of them." she pulls me down into the seat next to her. "Really choose carefully."

I do and as I do, I start to realise that maybe I am excited about the wedding. However much this is about being with Eli, I kind of can't wait to be the beautiful bride that everybody oooh's and ahhh's at. I've witnessed that so many times and I'm looking forward to that being me.

"I like this one." I say earnestly after a while of looking. 

It's an ivory dress that will flow down to the floor and trail behind me a little. It's got a fitted bodice that is covered in white lace and that lace also flows down the skirt that flows from my waist. The arms and chest and the whole of my back are pure lace without material underneath and it's elegant. It's graceful and that's what I want to be at my wedding.

My mother smiles. "I thought you would. I'll contact the dressmaker. Okay, now we need to talk about flowers. I was thinking-"

"Can I have daisies?" I ask, thoughtfully. I can all of a sudden picture my entire wedding. 

She frowns. "Oh Bonnie, no, we need something more graceful, like roses or something."

"I want daisies." I tell her. "Please."

She shrugs, noting it down. "It's your wedding. Now do you want to decide the date or shall I?"

"You can." I get up. "I'm going to bed. Night, mother."

She frowns at the clock. "You're going to bed early."

I laugh. "I'm just tired, is all."

In reality, I just want to sleep for a couple of hours before it's time to go and see Eli again. I trust that I'll wake up when I hear Ebony come to bed and I do. As soon as I hear my parents go to bed, I make my way to Eli's.

When I walk into the pub, he's actually sat around a small table with a few other men. None of them seem drunk at all, they're all just sat around laughing. I smile, approaching them. 

"Hello." I say.

Eli beams as he kisses my cheek and pulls me into his seat beside him. 

"Everybody, this is my soon to be wife Bonnie." he says proudly. 

They all nod and smile and wave and say hello. He introduces me to all of his friends and I nod and smile and wave and say hello to them. We stay and chat for a couple of minutes and then Eli glances at me and I glance back. 

"Guys, we're going to head up now." he tells them. "We'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight." I smile. 

Five minutes later, Eli and I are laid there together in a peaceful quiet. We're both really sleepy but neither of us are sleeping yet. 

"What do you think about daisies for our wedding?" I ask.

"I like daisies."

"Good because that's what we're having."

He chuckles. "That told me."

I laugh and twist around onto my front to face him. "I picked my dress as well."

"You did?" he asks, smiling. "That's good."

"Mhm." I kiss him. "Can you believe this is working? I don't even feel like we're sneaking around or anything. It's just working."

He grins. "I knew it would."

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