The Divorce with Myself

Sydney Craine notices how she is her own man and been hiding away from relationships and scared of being hurt based of the down falls of her past. Can she take a chance on love?


1. Age Aint Nothin But A Number Till Now

It's a girl. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Latino. It's a mamita.

When I was a little girl, my mama would always tell me that having the curves and the gifts the puberty gives you doesn't make you a young lady. I didn't know why she told me that, I was only four years old. Today, I always thought it was because she had me when she was only sixteen years old and pregnant with me when she was only fifteen. My father, she says, was only nineteen. She met him at this little club that her best friend, Helena, used to have. She remembers that night like it was yesterday. My abuela(grandma) would never let my mom go to the party, but my mama would go to the city and buy skimpy shirts and dresses and steal my abuela's lipstick. That night she wore a red short freakum dress I rather say and fish nets with a pair of pumps. It was all red and little black. Her motto for that night was, "The Devil in the Red Dress!" Mama that her latin accent would seduce any guy she wanted, especially with what she had on. When abuela went to sleep she would sneak out her window and walk four block to Helena's club her father built for her when he moved to Cuba.

As soon as mama walked into the room it was crowd of people watching couples or individuals dance. They called it the Ring Master since thet formed a huge ring for the people to dance. Mama called a couple of shots and went out her way to the ring. She would have someone to hold her shoes and she did all types of dances. she traveled around the city of New York so much that she learned the cultural dances. Although the latin dances was the signature moves, her favorite was Jamacian dances and Brazilian dances. That was exactly what she did on the dance floor. Her hair would swing everywhere and her legs was moving than a rollercoaster. All of a sudden she picked a random guy from the crowd to come dance with her. She was shocked of who she picked. She said he was a Haitian and danced better than anybody else she danced with. He put his hands tighty on her waiste and turned aroind so many times that she when they was done she felt drunk. Drunk in love she would rather say. Before the party was over, he asked for a name. Diana, my mama responded and Ki'ane he said. Love at first sight was so quick, my mom gave him her address and number. Since she didn't have a personal phone, he had to call the house phone with a female voice just in case abuela answers the phone. He gave mama a drive home with a goodnight kiss. She was so love drunk that when she got into the house, she woke up abuela with her loud mouth vomitting and that's when abuelita saw her in that skimpy red dress. She knew exactly where she been. Abuela banned her from hanging with friends for a whole six months and as soon school is dismissed she had to come straight home. Mama was upset she couldn't see Ki'ane, but was really looking for him to call her. It took him about a week to call, but my was pleased. They talked for hours and asked for him to come and visit. They was very smart and slick with their plan. Knowing that abuelita would flip if she caught mama with a guy in the house. He parked his car by the corner and would sneak in the back window where mama's room was at. It was the fifth time when Ki'ane came over and mama gave it up to him. The did a bit more time after time, but mama didn't care and she wasn't thinking. Going on three months on punishment, Ki'ane recently turned nineteen. They didn't care about the age difference, age was nothing but a number; until, abuela knew something wasn't right.

One day, abuela was home a bit early so she could see mama as soon as she come into the door.

Diana, I need you to go ahead and urine in the cup, there is nothing wrong, it's just that our toilet is not working properly. It will be fixed by tomorrow. When you are done, give it to me so I can dump it out. Do NOT pour it in the toilet or down the drain, mamita!

Si, mama.

With nothing wrong doing a simple task my mama gave the cup of urine back to abuela.

"Go to your room and get started on your homework," abuela commanded.

Abuelita sat in her chair by the table and took out a little box that said Pregnancy Test.

She did all the directions carefully and waited patiently on the results. On the wait for the results, she packed a basket with lots of hand knitted quilts, three maternity dresses and a can of vegetable soup. She slowly walked over to the results and she closed her eyes and turned it over. She said to herself, if my child is pregnant, she cannot stay and if she is not pregnant she may stay under my roof. In three second, I will open my eyes. 3...2...1...PREGNANT! Tears came rushing down face; however, she took it strong. Immediately, she dried her eyes and put the pregnancy results in the basket and last but least, Mary holding baby Jesus.

Abuelita broken down inside was rushing to mama's room but before she could lay a finger on the door knob, abuelita had a good eye and noticed that the door was locked. Rushing back to the kitchen to get a butter knife, she silently creeps up on mama's room. She slowly puts her head against her door to hear what is going on in there. Quiet but too quiet for her to be doing homework. She quickly puts the butter knife in the center piece of the door knob and before her eyes was a scene that mother wants to see her young teenage to do. Ki'ane scared and out of words to say tried to ran out the window. Then there laid Diana, startled and breathless as well. There were three words abuelita said: GET OUT DIANA! As soon as mama was out the door, there that laid the basket. Drowning in tears as soon as she saw what she had done to herself, she knew it was too late.

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