I find your lips so kissable And your kiss unmissable....

I find your lips so kissable
And your kiss unmissable
Your fingertips so touchable
And your eyes irresistible


5. To tell the truth

"It's wonderful to have a girlfriend." 
Harry saw at Niall that he really meant the words. Harry sat down on the chair next to Niall and chose to play theater. Always the same thing: hide the truth! 
Niall laughed and he quickly ate up the food. 
"Kim's absolutely incredible. She has a horse and I got to test to ride. Actually I managed to trot around a bit, but it's hard." 
Harry looked down at the food. He wanted to say a lot of things to Niall, but he chose to remain silent. 
Niall smiled at him. 
"And you and Eleanor? What do you do when you're together?"
Harry didn't know what to say. 
"We hang together." 
Niall giggled and pushed teasingly to Harry. 
"Admit that she's nice? Eleanor looks great and she has a good figure. Lot of guys are jealous of you." 
Harry sighed, and he had no idea what to say. Everyone else could get her if they now wanted her. 
Niall nodded and he drank the milk from the glass. 
"Yes, many of the school also talk about the fact that she's been chasing you for a while now. Perrie said you play hard to get?"
Harry was so close to telling the truth. "I'm not hard to get. I'm just gay and I don't want a girl., I don't want Eleanor." but he didn't say those words. Instead, he smiled and tried to look happy. 
"I may not be difficult to get, but I don't want to run around with girls all the time."
Niall seemed amused. 
"There's a big difference between us." He said well-meaning. "I can't be without Kim and I think of her all the time." 
Harry blushed. He was jealous of Kim and he wanted to be the person who Niall was thinking about. Nevertheless he swallowed his pride. 
"Life means on more than just girls." he said. Actually, he meant that the guys were better, but Niall just smiled and he didn't seemed to understand it. 
"I think that love's better than many other things." said Niall. "Much like your poem. It was really good and I liked it." 
"Did you?" Harry smiled and looked at Niall. "I mean, it was okay!"
Harry noted that Niall really looked at him. 
"I play guitar," said Niall and caught up Harry's interest. "I do some own songs, but I suck at the text sometimes. Shall I make your poem into a song?" 
Harry's heart was beating. He shook and the whole stomach tingled. 
The truth was that he wanted to scream straight out. He wanted to tell Niall that it would be perfect. They could sing the song together and sit and watch the sunset, like in a romantic movie. 
"Fun!" Niall giggled and he seemed happy that he had to do it. "Can I get a copy?" 
Harry nodded and picked up the bag. He gave direct Niall the original. 
"Then we have to sing the song together?" he said quickly. "That's the requirement." 
Niall nodded and accepted the patch. He was pleased, and Harry was happy. Talk about that life took a new turn.


Harry had to be with Eleanor. They went with some friends to the beach and sat around a fire. They grilled sausage and Eleanor sat near Harry. He felt he got panicked every time she looked at him, but he knew he had to play the perfect boyfriend. When he took his arm around Eleanor's shoulders Perrie smiled at them. 
"You're so cute!" 
Zayn agreed and he laughed a little bit. 
"I never thought that Harry would meet a girl. For a while I thought he was gay." 
Harry balked. He swallowed and looked at Zayn. He was so close to saying that that was the truth. 
Zayn laughed. 
"Yes, I remember one time when I thought you were checking out guys, but I guess I have a crazy imagination?" 
"If you only knew!" Harry thought. "You're right!"


"You wanna follow me home?" Eleanor whispered tenderly in Harry's ear. He looked at her what she had planned. He panicked. 
"I can't! I promised mom to come home on time." 
She sighed. 
"It's Friday" 
Harry saw that Zayn had heard them. The Muslim came over to them and he laughed. 
"Harry come with you!" he said cheerfully and seemed not to understand that Harry didn't want. Eleanor lit up and took Harry's hand quickly. 
"Yes, he has no choice."


Eleanor's parents weren't home. He got more panic in the body, and he felt like the world's biggest liar. 
"When are they coming home?" 
Eleanor laughed and pulled him into her room. 
"In the morning, so you can sleep here." 
Harry didn't want to sleep in her bed. He swallowed and saw how happy she was. Why couldn't he have feelings for Eleanor. She was perfect in every way, but she wasn't perfect for Harry. 
"So you want to...?" 
She nodded and blushed. 
"I got a taste for more."
Harry felt small. Eleanor began to strip off their clothes. He just stood there and glared at her. She really was everywhere on his body and in the end she pushed him down on the bed. 
"I bought the condoms." 
Harry swallowed. 
"You have planned?" 
She nodded with satisfaction and sat over his most sensitive part. She began to roll her hips to get him on and he saw how excited she was. 
"We have all night to do this." she whispered, looking down at his sleeping dick. She didn't understand anything, and Harry wasn't sure he wanted to go further. Eleanor leaned down over him and their lips met. Harry closed his eyes and he tried to fantasize about Niall again, but he didn't succeed. Eventually he pushed her away and he sat up on the edge of the bed, with his feet on the floor. 
"I can't, I'm sorry." 
Eleanor was startled and indeed she didn't seemed to understand. 
"But the last time?" 
He wanted to be honest, but he lied. 
"Maybe I'm odd, but I have no button that gets me going like that."
Eleanor took her arms around him and hugged him from behind. 
"It's okay honey!" 
No, he wanted to scream. It's not okay, but he nodded weakly instead. 
She kissed him on the cheek and smiled. 
"That's okay, we can sit and just talk?"


Niall was the only person Harry could get horny over. He realized that he really lived in a lie and he knew he had to change himself. Eleanor slept on his arm and he felt nothing for her. He looked at her and he tried to feel something. She was beautiful, she was good looking and she was all that guys wanted. He lifted lightly on the blanket and looked down at her naked body. Why didn't Harry want to have sex with her? He wasn't excited but he should be able to do it.


In the morning woke Harry when Eleanor left the bed. She went out to the bathroom and he heard that she turned on the shower. He saw her get a towel and she smiled a little bit at him. 
"Good morning." 
He smiled. 
She disappeared into the shower and he heard how she showered. Harry pulled the covers over his head and he wished he could change everything. He heard Eleanor sing something and she seemed to be in good spirits. He wanted to be honest with her, but he couldn't.


Eleanor got out of the shower and she let the towel slide down towards the floor. She stood before the mirror and combed her hair. Harry looked at her body and he swallowed. 
"You're beautiful." he didn't lie, but he did fill out that her appearance didn't affect that he was gay. 
"Thank you!" she blushed and smiled at him. He smiled back and thought about how it would be if she was Niall. Then Harry had thrown himself over her, kissed her and made ​​everything with her. But she wasn't Niall.




"Mom, I need to talk!" 
Annie smiled and she seemed to understand that it was something serious or atleast something important. 
They sat in the kitchen. Harry looked down at his hands. He had decided that he would tell her the truth, and he knew that the truth would affect her and her place as his mom. 
"I have long time known about a thing." 
She smiled and she took his hand across the table. 
"I'm listening." 
Harry swallowed. 
"Mom, I'm gay!"
There was silence. She didn't let go of his hand and he felt how she hesitate, but she was just silent. He chose to look up and he met her gaze. 
"Mom, I'm not in love with girls. I look at guys and I'm in love with a guy at school." 
She looked at him and he saw that she was thinking. It was as if the words wasn't stuck and she had to concentrate. 
"Are you angry?" whispered Harry. He hated the silence. She chose to smile and she laughed a little bit. 
"I'm just surprised, but not angry."
Harry puffed out. It was a good start. 
"I haven't dared to show that open and no one but you knows about it." 
She took both his hands and she looked straight into his eyes. 
"Darling, why didn't you come earlier to me? I understand that everything must have been hell for you?" 
Harry wasn't sure he dared to tell the truth. 
"I was scared." he whispered. "I was afraid you would be disappointed." 
She giggled a little bit and looked down at the table. 
"Well, maybe I'm a little sad that I wont have a grandchild, but it's probably my selfish side." she looked at him again. "I stand behind you and if you're gay, well then I accept it. One can't change that part of you."


It was a relief. Finally, Harry could atleast be honest with his mom. She stood behind him and they talked all evening about emotions, love and everything. 


"So which guy do you love?" 
Harry blushed. 
She smiled. 
"You have told me everything, so why not that part too?" 
Harry laughed a little bit. 
"His name is Niall Horan and he comes from Ireland."
"Oh!" she said teasingly. "So you like an Irishman?" 
Harry laughed a little bit and nodded. 
"He has blue eyes, bleached hair, and he's just so perfect." 
Annie asked the utlimata issue. 
"Is he gay?" 
Harry gulped and shook his head. 
"No, he has a girlfriend." 
She sighed. 
"I'm sorry, but I don't think it will be easy to find a gay guy here in the area." 
Harry agreed. 
"I know!"

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