past

Secrets are meant to he kept with the ones you trust. So what if you only trust yourself?

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3. chapter three

My body involuntarily stretches preparing myself to move as I wake. The blinds are pulled open about halfway letting in some light that makes its way to my bed all the way across the room. It took me until now to notice that we have a room on the outside of the building looking out over a small parking lot and a few of the campus attractions. Through the wall I can hear the shower running and a very faint hum of a happy sounding tune, Katie must have gotten in there before I even had the chance to wake up. I wonder how long she got to sleep for, when I came back into the dorm from talking with my aunt she was already passed out with her head where her feet should be on the bed. The bowl of popcorn she had was partially split around her and was on the floor on its side, I picked up as much as I could without waking her and now the tub is sitting on our dresser along with a few books and papers.

 

My phone buzzes on its charger drawing my attention to something other than what really shouldn't matter enough to have my thoughts anyways back to the real world. I lean over and read the small words turning up the brightness on my phone for better vision. They tell me that my oldest cousin Cameron texted me.

 

'Grace, I hope you are having fun so far! Good luck with tomorrow!'

 

I almost forgot that today is sunday and I will actually have to face such a big campus and all new faces and that this isnt just some big joke and that everything will be normal high school once again. Ive never been one that makes friends super fast since I am pretty shy and most people just think im not talking to them because I'm being rude. Im that girl that never knows how to reply in a conversation so she kinda just smiles at you awkwardly and avoids eye contact. My stomach begins to turn and swell and my heart burns with panic, I haven't even gotten out of bed yet and I feel as if I might pass out.

 

Today I probably need to get basic supplies like a journal and a few pencils, I also think it would be a good idea to get a small bag so I wont have to carry my stuff around in my arms. I suppose this would be much easier if I would stop refusing to carry a purse around but I just dont see myself looking good carrying a bag that is mainly used to pull outfits together. I wear jeans and tshirts anyways. Eventually thats another thing I will have to do, buy more clothes. I could only pack so many clothes for the trip so mainly I have very casual and comfortable clothes, the only pairs of shoes I brought were sandals and vans. Im already beginning to overwhelm myself by making this mental list in my head and its starting to give me a headache. 

 

The shower water stops after a few minutes and I sit up in my bed finally while scrolling through my phone. a few of my old friends from North Carolina have been posting pictures of them all together having a good time while i'm all alone in Washington, Its sort of depressing watching them through pictures because the don't even need me really to be around. My best friend James posts a picture of him and I from graduation. We are standing next to each other laughing, hes holding his cap in front of his stomach with a goofy grin across his face, his eyes are looking down at me. I am on my tippy toes reaching up to put my cap on his head laughing really hard. I've known him since the first grade, I was always taller than him and then the summer after sixth grade he hit a growth spurt that sent him about three inches taller than me. After that it seemed like he grew all the time, now i'm 5 foot six inches and he is six foot seven inches, I miss him.

 

"Finally you're awake!" Katie's hair is wet and brushed down but as it dries it comes back up into waves, she has on a pair of jeans and a white shirt that hangs loosely off of her torso. I laugh and lock my phone then advert my attention to her. "What are you doing today? Its twelve twenty" Her face scrunches and one eye closes as she shoves a sandal on her foot instead of just unlatching the strap. 

 

"I need to get some supplies" I say honestly although i'm not sure how i'm going to get there yet. "what are you doing today?" I ask after she only presses her lips together and nods.

 

Her small shoulders shrug. "I just dont like sitting in my bed clothes all day is all," she looks around "I could take you to the store and afterwards we could grab some lunch? I mean if you don't already have a ride."

 

"No, that sounds like a lot of fun" I smile at her and she offers back the same smile.

 

"Then get your ass out of bed, wow Grace" she playfully hits my leg and I laugh before standing up and stretching again. 

 

My blonde hair spills over my shoulders and down my back pretty close to completely straight as it is naturally so I leave it that way and pin one side back out of my face. I have nothing cute to wear so I just put on a pair of jeans and roll them up above my ankles and put on an old tshirt that sports the rolling stones, I listen to them every once in a while but the real reason I have it is because my dad was apparently obsessed with them and never took it off, now its mine. I put on my old warn out vans and then sit next to Katie with my small makeup bag. I feel awkward when I only pull out powder and mascara while she has just about every makeup product on Gods green earth displayed out infront of her. She scoots over making room for me infront of the mirror and I nod my head in a form of thanking her without having to talk.

 

Even though she started before me, I finish my makeup first and put everything away while she gets finished. We dont talk much for a good fifteen minutes and finally she gets up with a face full of well done makeup, she looks better than I do but there is nothing I can do about that and I sort of dont care enough to do anything either. 

 

Katie leads me out to her car in the parking lot, Its a small red corvet and it literally matches her character perfectly. On the way there she tells me about some of her friends at WSU and how I will like them, she points out that I dont talk much and it will have to change because she talks a lot. I just tell her that Ive gathered that much, it makes her laugh. Im not familiar with this area at all so I make sure to watch outside a lot and remember landmarks and connect them with where they are and how close they are to each other so I can at least find my way around to nearby stores. 

 

After probably ten minutes we pull into a target parking lot and unbuckle our seatbelts. The store is pretty similar to the ones in NC besides the way the isls are set up and located, Katie and I take forever to find the school supplies but we finally find them in the very back corner of the store after about three times of looking in that area. 

 

"What about this journal?" Katie holds up a spiral with strawberry shortcake and her little dog thing prancing through the grass printed on the front.

 

"Aw yes, Its what Ive always wanted!" I roll my eyes and turn away continuing to look through the endless books until I find a solid colored turquoise one. 

 

"That one isn't any fun though" Katie is making a disgusted face at the journal and I sigh before putting it under my arm and explaining to her that I like the color and dont want creepy children faces all over my supplies. She only laughs knowing that theres no way in hell she can win this argument and goes to grab a pack of pencils and papers for both of us. I guess she decided she was out of the essentials also. 

 

When we reach the register I put all of our contents onto the belt and let them roll up the the lady behind the counter. She has the biggest hair ive ever seen. She scans everything and puts them all in one bag and then smiles. She also has the biggest smile ive ever seen coated in red lipstick, not to be rude but it must have taken half the tube. "15.87 ma'am" I dont know what to stare at, her hair as it seems to bounce even when shes just talking or her stop sign red lips. I reach into my pocket and hand over a twenty and watch her count the change and re count it as she places each bill onto my palm. 

 

Finally the transaction is done and Katie stands up from leaning against a rack of magazines and follows me out of the store. "Do you like chicken?" she asks out of no where. 

 

"Yeah I guess so, why?' I give her a weird look. 

 

"I know where we are gonna go eat at" she gives a stupid smile as we get into the car. Once again I watch out the window and do my best to memorize how to get around a small part of town. Katie plays the radio and sings along to almost every song, some of them she sings even louder making eye contact with me and we laugh at how obnoxious shes being.

"Why arent you singing?" She finally asks during the slow part of a song. I turn to look at her, she looks worried. I laugh and shake my head.

"I just dont know the lyrics is all! I listen to oldies" I give her a smile without showing my teeth and she makes a 'hmm' sound then continues to drive.

Katie pulls into a Chick-Fil-A parking lot "We are here!" She chants loudly as if I'm not right next to her and that didn't hurt my ear.

"Chick-Fil-A? Thats your choice? Wow what a first date." Im actually kind of shocked, Its not that I mind because who doesn't love Chick-Fil-A? Its just I expected some chain restaurant or something but this will do too. Katie laughs as we get out of the car and pace ourselves into the small fast food place. "Katie!" I stop just as we are about to go in and start laughing. All of the lights are off and no one is in or around here. "Its closed on sundays, remember?" I laugh more as she face palms and groans turning around on one foot back to stalk back to her car.

"Is there a dominos around? I know its a big step from chicken but it sounds good" Katie nods and puts the car into gear as we back out and get onto the road again. We make small talk about my music taste and arrive at our destination rather quickly. My stomach is growling loudly as we walk in and I do my best to will it to be quiet, it wont listen to me.

The cold air hits my pale skin as I walk through the door immediately making me cross my arms over my chest. "Its cold" Katie says. I nod, we continue to walk towards the counter. A young boy stands behind it, he has cold blue eyes sort of like mine and red hair. Freckles run across his nose and strangely enough he is quite attractive.

"How may I help y'all today?" He smirks and is looking straight past me to Katie.

She laughs "Cut the act spencer" She must know him somehow because he doesn't have a name tag on or any sort of identification in that matter. "We will talk a large pepperoni" Her head turns to me to confirm the order and I barely nod my head. Im standing behind her out of spencers sight. I wish I wasn't so shy like this, it makes me look really weird and standoffish. Spencer nods then types it into the register.

"Who is she?" he asks Katie and my cheeks automatically heat up. Katie grabs my arm and pulls me beside her and I glare her direction for putting me in the spotlight like this.

"Im grace" I say quietly while looking behind him.

He smiles "Nice to meet you, I guess I'll be seeing you around" He turns and puts to cups on the counter for us to grab. I take mine quickly and thank him then walk off to the soda machine. Katie follows me closely.

"You've seriously got to learn how to talk to people" She laughs and fills her cup with ice while I put lemonade in mine.

"You put me on the spot!" I dont mean for my voice to come out as whiney as it does. I look around for a table and pick on against the back wall, only one other person is in the tables back here and he is facing the opposite direction as me. Grace seems to notice him to. She looks at him twice before her jaw tightens and she sits uneasily. "What is it?" I ask her. She shakes her head and forces a smile.

"Nothing" Shes lying I can tell by the change in pitch in her voice. She saw something she didn't like. I turn around and suddenly remember. His hair sits in dark brown curls on top of his head. Today he has on a hoodie along with tight black skinny jeans and ugly torn brown boots. My eyes go wide in the memory of the annoying British boy and Im almost excited to see him or to see someone familiar even the slightest. "Stop staring at him" Katie's voice is choppy and she speaks low as she twists a strand of hair around her finger. Im confused by this, he flew in with me and obviously he isn't from here. Why is she acting so strange? I comply and turn back around. He didn't have any food in front of him. He just sat slumped over with his elbows on the table. I couldn't see his face but I knew it was resting on his hands. He looked like stone except I could see him breathing heavily and roughly, like he could erupt at any moment.

"Number 19!" Katie springs up.

"Thats us" She says as she takes a deep breath and straightens out her clothes. She leaves me at the table while she walks up to the counter.

I dont have much time but I want to talk to Harry again. I need friends anyways, and didnt Katie want me to be more social? "Harry" I whisper leaning over the back of my seat. He doesnt even move a bit. "Harry" I say again this time dragging out the name. His posture is regained as his back sits in a straight line and he turns over his shoulder. When he sees me I swear I watch his eyes go twenty shades darker and his eyebrows narrow drastically. He looks intimidating and mean, nothing like the silly Harry I met on the plane. Somehow I feel like this cant just be about me not liking him. This has to be more. Harry rises to his feet gritting his teeth and holding his hands into tight fists. His stare rips away from me and he takes long fast strides to the exit of the restaurant.

Katie comes back with a huge pizza in her arms and pushes it onto the table. My stomach is doing flips right now and the huge appetite I had is now almost completely demolished. Katie opens up the box and the smell of pizza pushes itself into my senses making me want to puke immediately. Usually I don't mind when people don't want to talk to me because no ones opinion has ever really effected me before. Something about Harry had me so infatuated and made me so sick to see go.

"Excuse me" I get up from my seat fast making me dizzy and I run to the bathroom across the room leaving Katie confused and worried.

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