past

Secrets are meant to he kept with the ones you trust. So what if you only trust yourself?

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4. chapter four

Monday morning comes all too quickly and I am awoken by the annoying buzz of both mine and Katie's alarms going off in unison. Im far too tired to even open my eyes but when I do all I can see is a dark room, there isn't even sun from the window yet indicating not even it has woken. Katie groans from the bed across from mine and rolls over to her stomach turning off her alarm with one swipe. I gather enough energy to do the same to mine before I end up giving myself a headache.

Today we agreed on getting up early so that both of us will have plenty of time to get ready and look our best, after I told Katie yesterday that I only brought T-shirts she kindly offered to let me borrow one of her tops and I complied. Im thankful I brought my own pants because Katie's thighs look much smaller than mine and Im positive I wouldn't squeeze.

My cold feet hit our carpet as I will myself out of bed and walk to the bathroom, I need to take a shower today and I think it will help my hair look better as well. My right hand grasps the knob for the shower and I use my wrist strength to turn it to a comfortable heat. My hair is a knotted mess down my shoulders and besides it being a bright blonde it looks dull and dry. I frown and wipe my hands over my naked face then drop my hands to my shirt pulling it over my head. My pants pool around my ankles and I step out of them and look at myself one more time in the mirror. Im not the skinniest girl around, my thighs touch and my hips are wide but Im thankful that I have curves instead of none at all. Finally I push the mint shower curtain open and step in under the water that takes any sort of tension my muscles previously held out in a heartbeat. I close my eyes and sigh letting the water wash over my entire body for a few more seconds until I grab the shampoo and pour some into my hand to rub into my hair. The soap smells like flowers, not real flowers that smell like dirt but the scent that you expect to smell when you pick up something so beautiful. Im enjoying this shower too much, maybe its because im using it as a distraction from the nerve racking day that lies ahead of me. Without opening my eyes I put body wash onto a washcloth that I found under the cabinet and begin running it over my skin giving myself goosebumps from the soothing and sweet scents. I allow myself to rest under the pouring water for a few moments longer before I am able to convince myself that I might be late if I take any longer soaking in this wonderful shower. The water turns off too quickly letting me get cold all too fast, now I'm left to think about how I will actually pull off a semi nice outfit without my hair or makeup ruining it. Ive never been very good at doing my hair, I mean I have never really had to do anything, it lays flat most of the time with maybe only a few bumped flaws but its pretty nice. My makeup is almost always limited to foundation, powder, and mascara. Who really needs anything more than that?

I wrap my hair in the fuzzy purple towel I set for myself on the toilet before my bath and squeeze some toothpaste onto my toothbrush before letting water trickle over it. I hear hangers squealing across the rod in the closet and conclude that Katie is probably a mess right now trying to figure out what to wear, Im not sure if shes actually a neat and organized person yet but one can only assume. I hum around my toothbrush as my hand works it across my teeth cleaning them nicely and leaving me with a promising white smile which I check after I rinse out my mouth and put the brush back onto its holder. I didn't bring clothes into the bathroom so I take the towel from my hair and wrap it around my body before unlocking the door and stepping out into the much colder air of the room.

"Good morning" Katie beamed over her shoulder pulling a white three quarter sleeve top off of its hanger. It was cute, the sleeves were synched just below the elbow and ended there. It was sort of that mesh material thats see through, you know what I mean? Anyways she laid it out with a pair of jeans and a turquoise necklace then looked at me with her lips pulled to one side and her eyebrows pushed together. Her hands found her hips when she looked at me. "You can look through my closet for something to wear" I smiled and thanked her quietly. Im not a morning person, I think my voice sounds groggy and stupid when I wake up and just the thought of talking seems like too much work anyways. I secure the towel under my arms and grab a pair of my jeans and underwear from my suitcase. She has a lot of clothes hanging up so I decide to start from the left and work my way over to the right, I'm not sure what to pick since my style is just T-shirts and jeans everyday. I decide on a lacy black shirt that is form fitting to the waist and then goes out sort of like a really short skirt. Katie smiles at my choice, she already has her pants on and has her shirt in her hands like shes just going to change right here in front of me right now. Okay i'm sure thats sort of normal for some girls but I have always felt so uncomfortable with changing in front of people, not really because I care about them seeing my body or anything, I simply think its very unflattering to watch. Call me weird, my hands are up.

I gather my clothes into my arms and go back into the bathroom making sure the door is locked before I drop the towel and pull Katie's shirt over my head. Thankfully it fits well enough although she is a few inches shorter than me and a bit smaller also. I pull my pants on my legs doing a little dance to get them up and then button them so I'm sure they will stay on. Im sort of tall so most of my pants fit nicely around my waist then look like high waters so I roll the bottoms up once to make them look acceptable, my secret. Finally I walk back out of the bathroom and join Katie at the mirror to do my makeup. My hair is still damp so I run my fingers through it as if thats the magic touch for it to dry. As she did yesterday, Katie has all of the makeup ever created spread across the vanity and is applying her eyeshadow now while I get out my foundation and shake it up.

"Okay we're gonna be late come on!" Katie grabs her keys and bag from by the front door and I do the same once she is out in the hallway. My nerves are coming back now that Im actually ready and leaving to go to my first day at WSU. My makeup is still done at its minimal and my hair has dried straight as it normally does, Im wearing black converse and my old string bracelet that James made me once for my birthday in the ninth grade. Im pretty proud that it has actually lasted this long, sure I've had to retie it a number of times and fix it up but none the less it was still my lucky bracelet. We walk down to her car and she turns on the radio even though it will take us less than five minutes to park in the parking lots closer to the big buildings. "In case we don't have classes together meet me here this afternoon okay?"

My stomach is doing flips and Im scared that if I open my mouth I might puke so instead I only nod and open my door putting my bag over my shoulder as I walk towards the courtyard I remember that I was suppose to meet the boy I met in the taxi by the water fountain, What was his name again? Bryce?

My eyes squint as I search for his familiar light brown hair and charming smile. To my disappointment I do not see him, in fact I do not see anyone that looks familiar at all. My head drops and I watch my feet as I walk closer towards the crowd of people.

"Grace, right?" I look up to see the same boy from the taxi and Smile. His hair is styled the same and now he wears a blue T-shirt and dark jeans. He is squinting from the sun in his eyes, or maybe thats just the way his eyes are. Either way they look nice. By the time I'm done examining him Im sure that Im smiling like an idiot. His arm is draped over my shoulders and I cant say that I mind. I think its because he reminds me of James.

"Bryce, right?" I copy his words with as much confidence as I can conjure up. I cant lie, Im pretty proud of myself. But all I get in return is his head falling back in laughter, his laugh is loud and obnoxious. Don't get me wrong, its loud, obnoxious, and very cute, but I'm the joke here. "What" I whine. I hate being laughed at. What if I have food in my teeth? I didn't eat this morning. Maybe he saw something that I didn't? He was looking at me. Possibly its an inside joke? Come on grace, all you said was his name.

"My name is Brian, but you were close enough." Oh no. My cheeks flush and My eyes go wide. Of course I would say something embarrassing, It was bound to happen. Who was I to think that me, Grace lynn Chandlers, would possibly have the luck to not mess something good up.

"Im sorry" I say without looking at him again. I made everything so awkward for me now.

Thankfully he changes the subject. "Hey whats your schedule like?"

"Oh" I say and ask him to hold my bag while I search for my paper that I wrote everything down on last night. I see him smirk at me watching as I fumble through the mess I already have made in my small bag until I finally find what Im looking for. "Okay english is first" I say quite casually. His smirk doesn't go away.

"Mr. Collins?" He asks looking straight ahead. He hasn't yet moved his arm from me.

"Yeah" I answer with a smile.

Finally he looks down at me. "Follow me" He says and with that we are walking into a tall building I haven't been in yet. Its similar to the one I went through when I first got here to get my dorm key except this one is slightly smaller.

"Are you nervous grace?" He asks me as he looks straight over my head. As I said before, Im quite tall for a girl but somehow Brian is still able to tower me. I like that.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't feel like I could pass out" I say and suck in a breath through a closed jaw. He laughs lightly, I haven't seen a real smile on him yet, he just smirks. His hand squeezes my shoulder furthest away from him as he leads me down the never ending hallways until finally we reach the class I need to be at.

Instead of just saying goodbye outside of the class he lets his arm drop and walks in after me talking in a low voice. "Sit in the back" He instructs. I comply.

"Wait you aren't gonna go to your class now?" I ask as he takes the seat next to me, theres only one left against the back wall.

"This is also my class Grace" He looks amused by me, I'm sort of intimidated by his beautiful looks and also his wise attitude. I let out a slow almost grunt sound and sit straight forward sinking into my seat. This makes him laugh of course, he has been laughing at me since we met up this morning, I wonder if thats how it will always be?

The class fills up pretty quickly and a nice enough looking girl sits in the empty seat beside me. Brian tells me that class should be getting started any minute and that we have a good set of kids in here, pretty funny and relaxed. Im okay with that as long as they can be quiet enough for me to focus, call me crazy but I enjoy learning and doing my class work. Right as the bell rings someone slips through the door earning a sigh of disapproval from Mr. Collins. "Sorry" The boy mumbles in a low rough sounding voice. When I get the chance to look up my eyes widen and Im honestly quite shocked. He has on black skinny jeans, a black T-shirt, brown boots, and a dark blue bandana tied around the curly mop on his head. He looks up and around the room and our eyes meet. Harry, being the unpredictable dick he is, walks back to the girl sitting next to me and whispers something in her ear. She looks unsure at first but then nods and quickly stands up with her journals in her hands and walks over to another empty desk. Harry is smiling, I can see it from the corner of my eye. Last time I saw him he looked as if he could kill me and stormed out of the pizza shop, whats his problem?

He takes a seat in the desk to my left and I turn some so I am more facing Brian. I hear him laugh quietly at my childish behavior but I don't care right now.

"Everyone I hope you brought paper and a pencil, today we are doing something simple, write for me a page about what religion means to you." I smile and dig in my bag for my journal I bought yesterday and a pen. I love writing and I love sharing my opinions so this should be fairly easy for me. I open my journal and turn to the first empty page, as soon as I press my pen to the paper someone taps my back.

"Do you have a pencil and sheet of paper I can use?" The british accent gives away who it is immediately and I sigh. "Please" He says again. I reach down to find a pencil and then tear out a page from my notebook to hand to him.

"Thank you Gracie" He gives me a dimpled smile.

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