Beautiful Sinners

I'm fucked up. I hate my life. Until everyone I once cared about left me.
And until he came. He changed my life completely, he showed me the bad in the good and the good in the bad. But it's never going to be me, so I had to let go.
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2. Suicide?

So today I got pissed off. A lot. First by Shay who slept over last night, she was ignoring me last night and this morning after I told her to 'shut the fuck up' because she was yelling at me about how I'm gonna die from smoking and drinking, while my parents could hear everything. I

got pissed off by my parents - first my dad, because I don't know if I 'love' him like family loves each other so I don't like him.

Then my mom, because I need stretch mark cream for my legs because I'm getting fatter and stuff for my mouth because my braces are cutting into the inside of my mouth, but she always just tries to come up with different solutions.

Also, last night Shay was skyping with Julian while I was pretending to sleep and they were talking about me behind my back.

While Shay was skyping Julian, I found out that the guy I like - Daniel, likes these two hot girls; Moa and Candy. It's never gonna be me, and I realized this a long time ago.

So late afternoon I ran upstairs to my bedroom and slammed the door. I took 5 Panado's (painkillers) in a row and after that I researched what it could do to you.

It said that it causes severe liver damage as I am only 13 and I can never drink alcohol for the rest of my life.

This sucks as alcohol is basically my only friend. I'm stupid, I am useless. If loneliness had a definition, it would be me.

I'm currently lying on my bed listening to my stomach making terrifying noises and feeling so much pain.

Oh my god, what have I done?

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