Was I Wrong

She's on my mind 24/7 loosing her was the hardest thing I could've ever done, I had no choice. - Niall Horan

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4. Stuck

~Aubrey~

 

I feel like I already fucked up this job, I couldn't control myself last night.

 

This morning Tom came to my bus to see what had happened about last night, I'd ditched the dinner.

I was surprised he wasn't mad, he calmly stated that I was "tired"

He didn't know about the alcohol or Niall, I can only remember seeing his face.

I don't think I could do this.

I finished unpacking and turns out I have two extra bunks if the boys stayed in my bus while we worked. Just Great.

I decided to take a quick shower after that I got dressed into skinny jeans that I rolled up to make them look like capris, and a Fall Out Boy t-shirt. After blow drying my hair I straightened it and styled it in a half way up kinda way. I put on mascara and eye liner, and I wore my glasses.

I slid on my flip-flops and went into the lounge to get something to eat.

Walking to the table I saw that the arena had provided us with lots of breakfast options, I grabbed a plate and put scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon, and some toast. I set my plate on one of the tables and went back for a bottled water, my head was throbbing. 

I didn't realize how hungry I was until now, I haven't really ate anything since I boarded off the plane.

I was scrolling on my twitter feed while stuffing my face. Then getting board I put on my two piece head phones and started to listen to Various artists, right now I was playing Shakira's "Empire"

I set my phone on the table and added some hot sauce to my eggs and hash browns.

While stuffing my face, 5 boys walked in, 3 looked familiar while the other 2 didn't. 

They all piled up their plates full of food.  

While taking a sip of my water they all suddenly took seats at the table I was sitting. 

I pulled one ear plug to hear them. 

"Good-morning mate." The boy with drum sticks in his pockets and wearing a bandanna spoke, with an Australian accent

"Hi." I said clearing my throat, American accent is what I have, but while studying in Ireland I picked up a slight accent, mostly on the slang they spoke.

I remember in high school all I dreamed about was studying in Ireland, wanting to see a new world, different from mine, and Ireland drew me in. Living in Colorado I was an out door person

"I don't believe we've officially introduced ourselves properly yet." The boy who has a British accent spoke. He also had a buzz cut.

"No, I don't think so. My name is Aubrey Smith, I'm gonna probably be working with some of you for your next album" I introduced my self taking a sip of my water. And then giving a shy smile.

"My name is Liam, this is Zayn.." He pointed to the boy with big eyes and black hair 

"...This is Louis..." He pointed to the boy with a soccer ball on his lap

"You'll be working with some of us and two more that aren't present. But these two other lads are in 5 seconds of summer they're our opening act."

"That's Ashton.." He pointed to the boy whom greeted me first.

"And that is Calum.." He stated as the boy gave me a wave.

"And the rest are probably still asleep." Liam said

"Pleasure to meet you all." I smiled and began to eat was was left on my plate.

"Where are you from?" Louis suddenly asked while swallowing his drink.

"Well I'm originally from America, Colorado to be precious, but I'd like to think that I have multiple places that can be where I come from." I chuckled at the thought of my 4 completely different places I call home sorta.

"Well what are the other places?" Calum asked.

"Well San Diego and Los Angeles, and Dublin." I smiled to myself almost at the thought of home.

"Well thats amazing I've always wanted to visit California, one day." Ashton said cheekily.

"You'll get there lads." Louis said in a comforting tone.

"Hopefully." A boy with white hair said walking in.

We all looked at him all the sudden, and the boys greeted him loudly all the sudden.

"MICHAEL'S ALIVE" Calum yelled out and they all laughed.

"Oh Aubrey this is Michael of 5 Seconds Of Summer." Zayn said.

"Hello." I said tying not to sound awkwardly.

"Hello love." He said smiling at me and slapped Calum on the back of the head playfully for making fun of him a minute ago, then walked over to the table of food.

"I don't bite I swear." Michael said putting a muffin in his mouth. I laughed

My phone vibrated I looked at the message it was from Tom he wanted a quick meeting with me.

"Gotta go, see you lads later." I said putting my paper plate and plastic fork in the trash.

"See yeah." They all said as I left the room to the stage area.

 

~Niall~

 

"Was that the drunk girl you all were talking about?" I heard Calum ask as I slowly walked into the room for food.

It suddenly got quiet.

Louis cleared his throat to speak.

"Niall lad how are yeah this morning?" He asked, I know that they still wanted to know why Aubrey was pulling her hatred toward me while she was drunk and out of control.

"Ok." I said putting food on my plate and then taking a seat with the lads.

"Lad why does she know you?" Zayn asked, Louis looked like he had it figured out already.

"Do explain?" Louis said.

 "You really want to know?" I said annoyed

"Yes!" Everyone said even the 5SOS lads.

opening my mouth for a bite of bacon I began to explain...

"You see I meet Aubrey in Dublin at a Derby game, we hit it off when of when Richard D. Made a goal we were basically so excited we hugged each other at the same time, I remember how fast I let go because I was blushing, we spoke the whole entire game, then I invited her for beers at my favorite pub, and soon we started dating and then she became my girlfriend for almost 2 years up until 4 months ago, she broke it off well I basically caused it, I was mean I know, and well I told her I didn't love her anymore, I'm an idiot." I felt a tear fall from my cheek, I couldn't talk about it anymore.

"I'm a dick and I loved her, I never stopped, I was just ...clouded, from my own feelings, I don't know, and she'll never take me back..." I felt more tears fall from my cheeks to my crossed arms.

They had no clue how to react, Liam was patting my back and Zayn had a hand on my shoulder.

The room was quiet.

Then we heard singing from the hallway.

She entered the room looking at the good before noticing that we were all still in here, I wiped my eyes before she saw. She was singing out 'still into you' by paramore.

Then she turned around with a muffin in her mouth she looked totally embarrassed, she was blushing.

She took her muffin out of her mouth.

"Umm sorry, didn't think anyone was in here." She said shyly.

"Oh no you're fine love we always sing around the room." Louis said

Then Louis started to sing teenage dirtbag. She giggled and then looked at me, her brown hazel eyes still sparkled to me.

She stopped giggling and her eyes showed me sorrow.

She wasn't stupid she must've knew I was crying and tying to hide it.

"Ni.." She stopped her self and the room went quiet almost.

"I've gotta go, boys we have a writing session in an hour please be in the room next to the dressing room." She said quickly and left.

She was about to say my name!!!

I almost smiled to myself. But it sadden me even more.

"You alright lad?" Zayn asked.

"Yeh" I said.

"Where's Harry and Luke?" I asked trying to change the subject

"Umm probably still asleep." Liam said.

"No, Harry told me he and Luke were going to get something at the store with Paul." Josh said walking in.

"Rise and shine my little drummer boy." Louis teased and all of us started to crack up.

"HA HA so funny, I'm gonna throw you off beat today watch, if you keep it up lads." Josh threatened but was laughing while picking at the food on the table.

 

~ Aubrey ~

 

Setting up in the huge work room was a lot of work. But I got it done by lunch.

The boys have only an hour or so with me and sometimes after concerts they have to work with me.

I already have some lyrics planned, it's titled "You & I" I'm excited for this song actually, but I'm hoping that Niall won't catch on it was about us.

 

I read the lyrics from my notebook

'We don't wanna be like them

We can make it till the end

Nothing can come between

You and I'

 I'm stuck writing these lyrics, that's all I have, good thing this isn't a one person job.

I sat on the couch in the room, and began to eat my salad. I was lost in thought.

That awkward moment kept replaying in my head.

But when I saw Niall I wondered why was he crying, it really bothered me that I didn't know why he was crying.

It made me sad that his eyes were puffy and red.

All I wanted to do was go comfort him but I can't, this is a job. Which I've been repeating in my head since the time I got here.

And he doesn't like me anymore.

I told myself this was just a job and told the boys when to come and work with me, leaving the room I felt so guilty.

I connected my iPhone to the huge speaker and started to play music, It started to play Imagine Dragons, Demons

Ironic because I'm feeling my Demons right now.

I took out a cigarette and started to smoke, I threw away the rest of my food.

And just laid down on the rug and smoked listening to my music, just trying to relax myself from all the stress.

I haven't had a chance to chill myself out, I'm still freaking out inside, and being around Niall makes it worse because I'm scared of him, mentally, I don't want to be rejected by him ever again, it is the worst feeling in the world. 

I don't want to admit it but I miss him but I also hate him, I'm not exactly sure why I just do.

*************************************************************************************************************************

 

Yay for Chapter Four I have an Idea for what's to come but if you would like drop some ideas on what should happen next :) Thanks for reading if you did, I cried writing when Niall was crying I don't know why I just did. So yep 

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