Was I Wrong

She's on my mind 24/7 loosing her was the hardest thing I could've ever done, I had no choice. - Niall Horan


3. Pain


"Thank you." I said as the man helped unload my luggage.

We were in the garage full of tour buses only two red and the rest black a decent size but looking down they get bigger.

"No problem it's my job." He smiled cheekily.

"Do you by chance know where I'm staying? Or the where abouts a of the tour manager?" I asked politely.

"Of course, you'll be staying in a tour bus it's the 3rd one that has one directions faces on them there are only two and yours is the one on the right. The tour manager has put a backstage pass on the table of the bus and asked if you'd meet him in the lounge, or somewhere near the stage. Good luck I have to run, have a lovely evening." He said and left.

I stood there for a few seconds waving him off goodbye.

I started to walk toward the tour buses, I found the bus he was talking about right away.

I rolled my suit case to the buses door I opened it and struggled to pull the heavy bags up the small steps.

My bus wasn't as big as the other red one mine had 3 bunks it was spacey mostly.

Good place to work I said to my self. I took the loner bunk and left my bags underneath it.

I found the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

My eyes were droopy, my hair was a perfect messy, since I fixed my hair before getting off the plane. I wasn't wearing much makeup, I sighed and decided I look fine.

I went back up to the front of the bus and saw the pass the driver was talking about.

Slipping my phone into my pocket I grabbed the pass and swung it around leaving the bus.

I wanted a cigarette right now. I could reach in my pocket but not now.

I saw a door that said passes only. With a man at the entrance.

I walked up to him and he looked at me suspiciously.

"Aubrey Smith." I spoke holding up my pass.

"Welcome to the tour." The man softened.

"Thank you. Do you know where I might be able to meet up with the tour manager?" I asked as he opened the door.

"Backstage helping with the soundcheck."

"Thank you!" I smiled and walked through the door, I passed by doors that said dressing rooms to the arena well to be precise backstage.

I saw a man giving orders so I'm assuming that was him.

I walked up stairs and stood next to then distancing myself, I suddenly heard girls giggling, and talking.

"Aubrey Smith? Is that you young lady." The man that was giving orders said

"Yep." I smiled awkwardly.

"My name is Tom and it's fantastic to have you on board. Welcome! Before I introduce you to the boys we've gotta hang back and watch them, they're having soundcheck and should be walking on stage soon." He explain shaking my hand.

"Sweet." I remarked.

Wait that meant seeing Niall..

"Are we allowed to smoke?" I quickly asked.

Touching my side pocket.

"You can actually in this stadium anyway." He said nicely.

"Thank you." I said.

"Here come with me let's go into the arena to the main controls on the microphones. It's out in the open so don't be freaked if fans ask you questions about the boys as we pass them." He smiled.

I was quick to take out a cigarette and the light it.

I inhaled the smoke and exhaled, I felt a little more relaxed not really.

I followed Tom with my head lowered as I smoked my cigarette, until we were suddenly in the open space with people watching our every movement.

It was weird actually.

"When are they coming out?!?" A girl asked overly excited.

"Soon" Tom spoke

Girls were eyeballing me as I smoked. It made me so nervous that I smoked even more.

We were in the booth, I was sitting on a stool.

Then they came out, I pulled out another cigarette just as Niall came out. I lite it and I didn't notice he saw me as I lite it at the top and inhaled from the bud.

My heart skipped a beat I didn't know if I should cry or have an anxiety attack. I exhaled noticing I was still inhaling from the bud, I breathed it out basically, a lot of smoke escaped my mouth.

I can't believe that Niall is right here in front of me a few feet away.

I started to bounce my leg really fast. I don't know what to think. I wanted to break down, leave, but I sat there emotionless smoking the cigarette.


As I followed behind Harry walking on the stage to greet our fans for the sound check I looked toward the back to Tom to wave good bye. But then I looked to the side of him a girl smoking a cigarette, with brown hair, I recognized her immedently. Aubrey.

Why was she smoking she promised.

That hurt.

I didn't know weather to cry or to walk off the stage.

But I couldn't because I was in front of many fans and they'd figure something was wrong and I don't want then to feel sorry for me or bother me with a bunch of questions. That'd make me lie to them.

Anyway as she stared down at the ground exhaling so much smoke into the air, disappearing.

She was nervous, I could tell because her leg was bouncing up and down.

I wanted to go say sorry for all the hurt I had done to her, but it's not going to fix everything.

And at the same time I couldn't face her.

I felt my eyes turn watery I looked back pretending to yawn. But Louis saw me and he mouthed.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah." I nodded my head.

We all positioned ourselves on the stairs and Liam started to talk.

I waved to some fans giving them a small smile, they started to squeal but after that I caught myself starring toward the main control booth.

She was watching everyone but me, she didn't even look me in the eye yet and I felt like a weirdo starring at her.


I couldn't even look in his direction, I didn't know what to say.

I was flat out afraid and I felt like a pussy.

I felt uncomfortable that someone was watching but I keep my eyes on the ground and looked up at Harry and Zayn sining.

I couldn't take it.

"Hey Dave I'll meet you and the boys for dinner, I think I'm gonna go take a nap, and unpack." I whispered into toms ear.

"Ok I'll text you." He said.

I trembled while walking toward the stage.

Quickly walking on the stage and to the stairs that lead toward the backstage area.

I brushed passed Liam on the stage, hitting his arm.

"Sorry." I said quickly

"No, it's fine." He smiled and I kept walking. I started jogging a little bit toward the bus, when I started to weep.

I wasn't sure why I was crying but I was.

I hurried and shut the bus door.

I sat down on the drivers seat, I pulled my knees up to my face and started to cry even more.

I needed a drink or a cigarette.

I pulled myself together and changed from my jumper into my CSU Colorado pull over hoodie and changed my vans into my brown UGG boots.

I Left my phone on the kitchen table and went on my search for something to drink.

I walked near the dressing rooms and spotted Simmernoff and some vodka bottles in the lounge.

I opened a bottle of Simmernoff and started to chug it down.

It burned my throat for a split second, but after the 5th bottle it tasted so sweet.

I took some shots and pulled out two cigarettes and smoked both of them at the same time.

I was leaning against the wall chugging down the next bottle in my hand, I wasn't sure what I was drinking but it wasn't Simmernoff but a different alcoholic beverage.


After the longest soundcheck ever we all started to walk to the dressing rooms to chill out before the show.

"What's the sound?" Josh asked.

We all stopped and we heard weeping, and smelt the cigarette smoke.


We walked a little ways down and there Aubrey was weeping and smoking with 8 bottles of alcohol next to her feet.

"Why Niall." She stared straight at me, she was obviously drunk. And when she's ask me why my heart had skipped a beat.

The lads all looked at me, they had no clue about Aubrey, they knew I was in a long relationship with a girl named Aubrey but they've never really met her.

"Why what?" I asked. Knowing I was about to be chewed out, I wanted to cry I had a bubble in my throat.

"Why in the hell did you stop...loving me...why were you such a fucking dick to me after all I've done to you!" She hissed and stood up carefully.

She walked toward me and slapped the shit out of me.

I wanted to cry, not because she hit me, but because she was hurt no not just hurt broken..

I touched my cheek and then gently put my hand on her shoulder, making me shiver.

"I'm sorry, Aubrey, you're drunk and I can't speak to you unless you're sober, let me take you to lay down." I said trembling

"Hell no I can lay my self down, and just don't." She said pissed off voice.

I've heard it many times.

She started to walk off, while holding onto the wall.

"What in the fuck was that?" Sandy remarked.

"Niall you've got some explaining to do." Harry stated.

"Not now, I don't want to talk about it." I said and walked into the dressing room running my hands into my hair.

I felt my eyes build up and turn watery.


Sorry I was in a rush to write this. What do you think should happen next? :)

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