Was I Wrong

She's on my mind 24/7 loosing her was the hardest thing I could've ever done, I had no choice. - Niall Horan


10. Confused


I let go of Niall's embrace and started to pace the room.

"I know it sounds crazy it is crazy, but it's the truth." Niall said

"This is insane, I'm I being punked." I said looking around for a camera in the fake plants.

"Stop your acting crazy now." He said watching me with concerned eyes.

"Am I crazy? Am I?" I hollered.

"Yes, you are." Niall said

"Well your crazy!" I shouted pointing my finger at him.

"You didn't have to let me because of management it was your choice, I don't understand this bullshit story, I get where you were trying to keep me safe, but letting me go because having a relationship was to risky, that's some bullshit." I yelled the last part at him.

I was trembling I was so confused, my world just got even more confused.

Niall had no words, no words at all.

"You see I had to or it's get out, everyone would know about it..." He said

"Who cares we should've been in it together do you not realize that!?!" I said

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to be in the spotlight it's great to be in the spotlight all the damn time, people reading about your personal life, people stalking you for pictures, and worse the paps! They try to break you and sometimes you believe the terrible things they say!" Niall said hurt, and face turning red.

"Who cares so I would've had you and that is all that fucking matters!!!" I said pacing the room again.

"Stop it you're making me dizzy." Niall said gesturing to my pacing

"Does it look like I care!! My world is dizzy my fucking thoughts are shittied like what the hell are we even doing!" I said taking a seat on the recliner.

My hands to my face.

"I don't know..." Niall said quietly defeated.

"But all that matters right now is us now, I love you, and I'm scared, the fact that I've never stopped loving you, scares me, because I'm not sure if you'll ever feel the same again." Niall spoke again in a trembling voice.

My heart pounded.

"I'm scared to Niall! I'm so fucking scared, I'm scared to love you again..." I sobbed into my hands.

And the truth all comes spilling out how lovely..

I heard Niall get up but I didn't dare move.

He was on his knees, he put one hand on my leg and the other to my hand.

He moved my hands away from my face and softly put his thumb to my tears to whip them away.

He moved his other hand to make me look him in the eyes softly.

I was weak and shaking.

"We can be scared together." Niall said quietly.

I cried some more.

He leaned into me and kissed me passionately.

I kissed back this time.

I have no clue what I'm doing but it's something on he lines of agreeing with him.

I think we could do it together but this doesn't mean that we are together but I want to try and patch things up.

He released the kiss I pulled back.

"I don't know Niall." I said fragile.

"Either do I." He said with a weak smile.

"I should get going we have an interview in 20 minutes." He said trying to pick himself up.

He kissed my forehead and left.

What the hell am I doing!!.!!?!!?!,!,! My mind screamed.

I stood up and fixed my self before I went out there.

I whipped my face, fixing what was left of my makeup.

My eyes burned because I was crying and my contacts are somewhat dry.

I opened the door to leave the lounge shutting the lights off.

I slowly walked to the stage, it was freezing outside I'm glad I had my trench coat and my scarf.

I started to play with lyrics in my head.

I had titles for the next songs, but I had had time to put lyrics for them, because this was a team work and I was distracted.

I remember some of the titles not all of them I started to brainstorm to get Niall out of my head. I don't want to cry right now, too much tear shed has occurred over the last few days.

Let's see I have

- Half A Heart

- Right Now

And - Little White Lies

I can't remember the rest but those are the main ones I know.

I walked along the stage, people started to enter the arena finding there seats and such.

Some girls squeezed from a hearing distance,

I kept walking to myself along the stage, trying to clear my head and process what had just happened.

I watched my feet as I walked.

"Her name is Aubrey Grace Smith." I heard a girl say near by.

"Is she Niall's girlfriend?" One girl asked

"Niall said no, but I call bullshit." She said

They thought I couldn't hear them but I could.

"Wait Is she the girl from the video crying?" Another girl joined in.

I didn't look there direction but I could hear them loud and clear.

Great now I'm the gossip.


Then they went silent as I walked closer to them, the path to the crowd was so long.

Once I reached the end I turned my heel and slowly walked back to the main stage security guards were lined along the gates. Just in case fans try to fight their way back stage to see the boys or something.

It's weird knowing that I can be out here and go inside and see the guys. Most people would think I'm a roadie or some fan.

But I've gotta give to the fans, if it wasn't for them they wouldn't be here.

None of the boys.

I wouldn't be here helping them write the next album.

But then I'd still be in a relationship with Niall, that isn't the fans fault, but who ever runs the lads fault.

I don't know how they do it.

My head hurts from all the thinking I've been doing, trying logically to figure this all out in my head.

I walked back stage to the dressing rooms and I went to sit with Gemma and Lou.

Lou was preparing the boys for the show, I didn't even glance at Niall,

I stared at the floor the whole time.

Speaking smally to Gemma, about who knows what.

I'm not even paying attention to what's happing now.

I played with my thumbs, as I starred at nothing but the red-bluish carpet.

Lost and confused.

About everything I've ever thought about Niall. He's a great actor.

This whole thing is a mess.

"Are you even listening to me?" Germs said playfully punching my arm.

"Yes..." I said knocking me out of my thoughts.

I saw Niall glancing at me in from the mirror.

I looked away fast.

"So how about that shopping trip when we go to Spain?" Gemma said.

"I love too. I've never been to Spain." I smiled shyly at Gemma almost.

"I'm so excited." She stated.

"Same." I said trying to be as excited as her.


This whole damn thing was crazy.

I've never thought I'd have to tell someone I love that someone was trying to hurt us.

I watched her from the angle of the mirror, I was shocked she had even came into the dressing room.

We both broke down together and It was nice, I guess.

I can't stop thinking about her lips.

Or how hurt I get when she starts to cry.

I never want to see another tear shed from her ever again.

This whole situation may seem bullshit but it's all real and insane.

And it's all stupid.

I watched her put on a face smile as she talked to Gemma, she was really good at hiding her emotions, unless she wanted you to see them.

She was so beautiful even when she was sad.

"Let's roll lads!!" Paul said peaking his head into the door.

We all got up and did our little huddle to pump each other up.

I wasn't so pumped because my mind was set on Aubrey's feelings, and how she was processing this.

We all walked to the backstage area to the stairs of the stage.

I moved back toward Aubrey as she followed everyone.

I whispered in her ear.

"Together." Softly.

She just gave me a small smile.

She pulled my cheek toward her and kissed it.

I know that we aren't together together but I'm hoping this is the start of something great.

And I know she's very confused I could tell by the way she was lost in her own mind, I'm not too confused but I'm glad I had the guts and courage to tell her what has happened to us.

It's all very strange..

Following Harry on stage we were greeted with screams and waves.

We all waved back as we began to sing the first song.

While singing all I could think about how Aubrey was doing.

But I wasn't doing all the bad on stage I was having fun, I really need some fun.

So did Aubrey, Everyone was exhausted.


I watched the boys perform for a little while. In the seats with the 5SOS boys.

They were happy I wore the tee they had gave me, I was happy that they were happy.

I love to put smiles on faces, but I get lost in helping others I don't help myself or I forget to smile.

I have to think.

Despite all the things Niall and I went through, I have a pretty damn good life even if it's not perfect.

I have an amazing job, I have a great family, I have good friends, I have a comfortable apartment by the beach, I have a lot of great things in my life I should be thankful for, but I always lose sight of that when I'm caught in a web of crazy.

I watched the boys ask questions, it amazes me how much they do for their fans and what they do for the guys.

Niall was playing guitar while Louis was making him laugh by mimicking Harry.

Niall tried to hold back his laugh, but it just came out he moved the mic away from his mouth as he tried to catch his breath.

I missed Niall's laugh it alway made me laugh harder.

I couldn't help but smile at how much fun they have together.

I need to not think of what's happened today just for one night.

"Can we get a beer?" I asked Gemma

"Were all gonna go to a pub afterwards, I think everyone needs to go that's why Dave managed us one night to do anything." Gemma explained

I hadn't realized save planned us a night of freedom, because I was so caught up in my own thoughts.

Trying to logically figure out everything.

I smiled at her

"Hell yeah." She squeezed me and released.

Authors Note:

Please tell me none of this is cheesy I feel like I've turned this story to crap. I'm trying to fix it as I keep rereading the last few chapters. Leave feedback it'd really help me, thank you :)

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