Be There Til The End

Sequel to My Rock. A better blurb coming soon

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5. What If

Maybe Lou was right. Today is actually turning out ok. I was able to help someone. No one has hit me or shoved me. My classes seem that they will be easy. Time is going fast. Lou actually spent more than two minutes on the phone with me at lunch. I haven't felt like this since our move. I feel like I'm on cloud nine.

"LOU?!?" I yelled running through the door.

"Wha-What's wrong Harry? Are you okay? God please tell me you aren't hurt."

"No, babe I'm fine. Just excited."

"Oh thank God" Louis sighed with relief .

"So what are you so excited about?"

"I met with Ben, Ben Winston, the guidance counselor. But he already knew what I wanted to meet about. Ms. Teasdale had already mentioned to him about everything and he wants my help. He wants me Louis! He needs me to help him help others like you helped me. Babe I'm so excite..." Before I could even finish my sentence. Louis kissed me. "Why did you do that?"

"Because babe you were talking so fast and you needed to breathe. By the way I am happy for you love. You will be great. You are gonna change someone's life."

Those words had my mind racing; this time not in a good way. What if I'm not great? What if I change their life for the worst? What if I only hurt them? All these what ifs had me shaking in a panic attack. I couldn't breathe. I got dizzy and then everything went black.

"Ooowww, Wha-What happened?" I say between breaths coming back into consciousness.

"I don't know babe, you were frozen stiff and muttering and the next thing I knew you were buckling. Luckily I caught you before you hit the ground."

"I started to panic Lou. What if I can't do this? What if I mess up? What if I make things worse for the kid I'm paired with?" I could feel my head getting light again. I think Louis noticed my breathing becoming quick and shallow because he grabbed a hold of me and held on so tight.

"You are gonna be ok Harry. Just breathe slow deep breaths. I got you babe. Remember I told you I'm your rock" Louis said softly as he ran his fingers through my hair. Things went silent for a couple of minutes before Louis spoke up again.

"Can I ask you a question Haz?"

"Sure Lou."

"Are you okay? Like really ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine"

"Promise?"

"I promise Lou" I half lied. I can feel myself slipping back. I don't want to but I can't stop it. That's why I think these what ifs might come true. If I'm not one hundred percent, how can I be there for someone? I'm scared of all these what ifs. I just hope that I will be just as half of a mentor to someone as Louis was for me.

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