Give Me Therapy, I'm A Walking Travesty



“Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty.”


*When I was three, I had no idea what I was seeing. My dad was holding me, crying; saying he would come back for me one day. He finally let go and walked out of the door with his luggage. I looked up at my mom while she slammed the door shut. I gave her a curious look, which clearly read “where is my daddy going and why?”



Spencer: *sits down on a white sofa* I don’t understand why I’m here; there’s nothing wrong with me.

Amy: *places hands gently on lap* you are here for plenty of reasons, you need help. Now I don’t mean that in a bad or rude way, but yes, you need help. You went through a lot the last couple of years, and you’ve been acting different lately. You haven’t talked to anyone about your issues, so your sister and mom brought you here.  I’m here for you to trust-

Spencer: -I don’t trust people I don’t know. And I don’t have issues.

Amy: you may be right, but you may be wrong. That is why you are here. You think that everything is going perfectly well, but you don’t see yourself from anyone else’s point of view. To you, you’re fine and you think everything is going okay. But to someone else, you’re depressed and you can’t control yourself. The one thing that I can tell about you from what I’m seeing right now, you’re crying inside. In fact, you’re screaming for help but it seems like no one is listening to you. You want people to pay attention-

Spencer: no the hell I don’t want people to pay attention to me, im not a little attention-seeker. I’m not like that, and if I’m crying inside then why can’t other people tell? Shouldn’t it be obvious? I’m not depressed. I can handle myself.

Amy: please just take this into consideration; I want you to tell me everything that is on your mind. Maybe if you tell me everything that you’ve been thinking lately I can tell if you really need help or if you got yourself under control. So tell me, is everything okay at home? At school? How’s life going for you?

Spencer: *exhales deeply, rolls eyes and twiddles thumb* I’m an average teenager. I’m 14. I absolutely hate school. I only like it because of writing and history. I have a few friends that I know I can cry on their shoulder if I need to, but I’m definitely not good with people. Everything is I guess “fine” at home, just wish I could have my dad there for me when I get home from school, and I want to sit down at the dinner table and hear him ask me, “how was school?” he’d probably make everything better for me.

Amy: *scribbles something in a notebook that sits gently on her lap with an expensive looking pen* so you’re really upset about your dad? What happened? Or is that too personal to you?

Spencer: no, it’s okay. He left me when I was three… I don’t really like to talk about it, it brings back old memories that I’m trying to let go of and forget. I don’t really want to remember the things that once or still do put me through pain.

Amy: do you know why he left you…?

Spencer: just some personal things I guess… I don’t know for sure. No one really told me though, I found out a few other things about him too…

Amy: *scribbles more notes in the notebook* would you like to talk about it? What did you find out, I mean.

Spencer: well I found out that he was an alcoholic… that’s all I really found out…

Amy: when did you find this stuff out, do you remember?

Spencer: about a month or two ago, my sister told me.

Amy: do you remember any of this yourself, as in when you were a kid?

Spencer: I mean, I knew he drank a little bit but I didn’t know that he was that irresponsible with it…

Amy: I know what you mean, have you had contact with him since he left?

Spencer: *long pause with a little exhale* no, not at all… I haven’t heard from him for 11 years…

Amy: I’m so sorry to hear that…does your mom speak with him?

Spencer: I’m guessing they only speak to each other about me, and I guess only when they got the divorce papers signed and what not… I don’t really talk to my mom really-

Amy: -you don’t talk with your mom?

Spencer: not really… we were never that close to each other…

Amy: do you guys argue??

Spencer: Mostly about stupid things, I guess it’s normal though.

Amy: do you guys argue often? If so, what about?

Spencer: not often, and we just argue about things we don’t do… like chores around the house, simple things really…

Amy: oh, well how do you feel about that?

Spencer: well I feel like she shouldn’t argue about these things with me, I would rather her tell me then argue with me about it. It’s irrelevant to yell at me if I’m busy doing something and I forget to do one simple thing that can wait another minute.

Amy: and that makes total sense. But have you been giving her attitude along with it too?

Spencer: maybe once in a while but I try not to…

Amy: that’s good but try to just shrug it off when you feel like you need to snap back, that only makes the situation worse. But is your mother stressed about anything?

Spencer: maybe about her job, but other then that I have absolutely no idea. She doesn’t talk to me about anything, it’s kind of like she doesn’t trust me with her feelings.

Amy: does it bother you that she doesn’t talk to you about these things?

Spencer:  *exhales* ehh… no, not really. I kinda got used to it, she never really did talk to me.

Amy: well, she seemed to notice a lot of what you’ve been doing… she told me that you’re absolutely depressed. She said you lay in bed most of the time, writing all the time, crying, etc… is this true? Or is she over exaggerating?

Spencer: *long pause* kinda, I guess…

Amy: what do you think about that makes you feel like this? Is it your dad? Is it people at school? What’s going on?

Spencer: *looks down and has a worried expression* that’s the thing, I think way to much, more then im supposed to even… that’s why she also told me that I’m going mentally insane and my mind is taking control of my whole body… do you think that’s true? Could my mind be taking over? Or am I just going insane?

Amy: it’s not normal, you may have to take anti-depressants though… *scribbles something in notebook* but what you should start doing is writing your feelings out, that helps with a lot of people actually.

Spencer: I’ve started that recently, it’s helping a little bit…

Amy: that’s great, keep on doing that. Is anything else bothering you? Like people at school, teachers? Anyone?

Spencer: I got bullied till I was in sixth grade… but I got over it, I eventually turned out to be the bigger person. But everything is fine at school, my grades are good and I don’t bother with the attention-seekers or the people who think they’re on top of everyone else.

Amy: *nods and writes more in the notebook* that’s also good, you’re doing well. From what I’ve learned today, it’s only the things at home that bother you. No one really bothers you at school, and that’s okay. But you should start to work on your home issues, like talking to your mom about how you feel. And maybe you should try getting in touch with your dad, maybe that will help in a big way.

Spencer: I’ll try… *wipes tears*

Amy: please don’t cry, everything will be fine. Even though it seems like a never-ending trail of tears and depression, you’ll get through it. Everything will eventually find a new path to take and you will be happy again. I promise you that. But our time is up, wipe your tears and I’ll walk you to your mom waiting for you.




*Month later after 4 therapy sessions*

Spencer: *walks into the room and takes a seat on the white sofa*

Amy: so, how’s everything going today?

Spencer: good news, and kind of bad news…

Amy: good news?

Spencer: I’m getting in touch with my dad, but I don’t know how that will go…

Amy: oh my! That’s great, have you figured out what your gonna say? Are you nervous?

Spencer: I’m a nervous wreck; I have no idea what to say… what’s there to say?

Amy: well, there are two choices you could make. You could just simply try to figure out who he is, get to know him, then after a while ask him why he did what he did. The second choice is to just start out with the questions. Questions like “why’d you have the nerve to leave?” or “why didn’t you try to talking to me?” it’s 100% your choice, but which choice do you think would be better?

Spencer: the first choice, honestly…  I’m just nervous, it’s kinda hard because I haven’t seen or contacted him for so long and it feels like I don’t remember him at all. It’s scary knowing you supposed to be really close to someone, yet you don’t even know them…at all.

Amy: I know how you feel, it makes total sense. But it’s better to get to know him now then later, right?

Spencer: true… but the bad news is, well sorta bad news for me…

Amy: what’s going on?

Spencer: my sister is leaving for the marines next year and I don’t know what I’m gonna do without her… it’s good that she’s doing what she really wants, but I don’t know how I feel about it. I want her to be happy but I don’t know what I’m going to do in the months that she’s gone.

Amy: oh…  *scribbles some words in the notebook* well it’s good you understand that. But when she leaves, do what you can to stay on your feet, you know she will be back in time.

Spencer: I just don’t know if I’ll have anyone to talk to at home.

Amy: I know how you feel, we all have that someone to rely on when we need help, but what everyone has to understand is that they’re not always gonna have that person there. That’s why we have to learn to cope with these feelings and learn to handle them ourselves and deal with it sometimes. I understand sometimes it’s to hard and you need someone; and sometimes there’s no one to really trust…. Except yourself. You have to learn self-respect or you’ll never trust yourself.

Spencer: so you’re saying that I should trust myself? What do you mean by that?

Amy: I mean that you have to put faith in yourself to know that you can say “I got this”, pick your head up, put a smile on your face and keep walking forward. Life goes on, you might as well live it while you have a chance.

Spencer: that’s true; I guess I’ll start doing that. I mean I’ve always wanted to travel, it seems really intriguing and I’ll be able to create memories easily.

Amy: great! That’s good, set goals for your self. You deserve the best, so do the best.  Your doing great.

Spencer: I feel great; everything has been getting better each day.

Amy: well that’s exactly what I told you. I told you that one-day, you would look back and say, “I should of known it would get better...” and you’re going to smile. You’re going far, and you’re going to get even further in life. Because you know what? LIFE GOES ON.

                                                ~THE END




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