His Absence


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4. Chapter 4

"Please get out of my head for one day"

I begged, referring to the accident as I roamed around the street, trying to find somewhere to eat.

I had been starving since that morning and I had no clue where they'd let single people eat.

Did I just say that? I'm single? No. It wasn't true. I was still with Harry. Although he wasn't physically and spiritually there, he was buried in my heart like a permanent tattoo.

My eyes set themselves on a bar, me sighing before I walked towards it without thinking twice.

Alcohol would probably burn holes into my stomach but at this point, I didn't give two shits. I needed something in my mouth. And not what you dirty readers think.

Not even bothering to read the name of the bar, I walks in, looking around for empty seats. There seemed to be a lot.

There was a classy slow song playing into the speakers located around the area, me rolling my eyes once I dropped myself on a chair in front of the bar.

There was barely anyone at the bar, me feeling the same thing as usual. Lonely.

Soon, the bartender turned to me, with several cups in his hands as he mixed them around professionally.

"What can I get for you, young lady?"

The bartender asked nicely, leaning onto the counter once he had set the cups down.

"J-just water"

I mumbled, smiling quit unrealistically soon feeling more like a fourth year old than a 22 year old girl.

The bartender gave me a weird look before nodding his head to get me a glass of water.

Sighing, I buried my face in my hands, feeling the need to just choke myself to death.

Soon, the bartender placed a cup in front of me, me peeking from underneath my hands.

"I think you need this one. It's a treat"

He said before he disappeared to serve another customer.

It wasn't water. It was a shot. Staring down at the cup, I sighed thanking the bartender in my mind for giving me a break from all of the drama going on in my life.

Actually, scratch that. I was the only one that was torturing myself and no one cared. So there was no drama except for me. I was the drama I created myself.

When was this gonna end? All of the mourning and depressed days were tattooed on my body and brain like no usual tattoo. One that couldn't be wiped away even with a billion dollars.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder, my head shut up, me turning my head quickly in confusion.

"are you okay?"

A young boy asked politely, removing his hand from my shoulder once he took the empty seat next to me.

Looking to my sides, I frowned because the last time a boy talked to me was before I moved to LA.

"Me?"

I pointed to myself, an eyebrow raised, him nodding.

He had this curly like hair that was similar to Harry's, giving me chills with deep hazel eyes.

"Yeah.. Yes"

I coughed, once I realized how it wasn't polite to say yeah to someone I had just met.

What? My parents taught me these before they.. Died..

"You don't look so okay to me"

He confessed, scratching the back of his neck as if he was feeling the awkwardness I was feeling.

"It's a long story"

I took a sip of my water, feeling the cold liquid down my throat, making me shiver.

"I'll listen"

He smiled, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he looked amused and entertained.

"I don't think I'm up to talking about it, really.."

I sighed, playing around with the glass in my hand, watching the liquid flow with aggressive waves that looked calm from other people's views. Not to me.

"Alright, sorry for asking"

The boy apologized, running a hand through his hair, just as Harry before pulling out a hand for me to shake.

"I'm Nathan"

He smiled, me politely shaking his hand nodding my head.

"Serena Whales"

I smiled back, finally not faking it after a few months.

Yet, I could feel the same feeling I get everytime when I imagine Harry here beside me. It was a warm yet cold feeling that made my heart pound out of my chest.

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