His Absence


1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - his absence


"So how are you coping with it now?"

The lady in a tight black dress, sitting in her chair with her legs crosses asked me, concerned.

"Not so good"

The words struggled to come out of my mouth as my heart raced, remembering the accident.

"This is your 50th hour of therapy, Ms. Whales"

She raised as eyebrow at me, licking her lips as she shifted in her seat awkwardly.

I stared down at the ground, daydreaming, once again. It happened all the time since that day.

-flashback starts-

(Los Angeles)

I ran my fingers threw my silky hair, sighing as I stared out to the sky, feeling extremely depressed and angry.

Harry and I were going on a road trip to California looking for a future to build up together. Well that was until he decided to hang out with Jenna, his 'friend' and ditch me.

I couldn't help but think of what every other girlfriend would assume or think. He either liked her or he was mean enough to cheat on me.

Harry sighed loudly, sounding as if in frustration as he sped up, roaming down the endless road to our new, disaster future.

I couldn't lose him. I loved him. He was one of the only guys that I actually could be myself around. I could be the dorky goofy me and he wouldn't do anything but make it seem normal.

"You're driving too fast Harry. Slow down"

I angrily said. I was one that was scared of speed, heights and darkness.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't be completely fine about him blowing off our anniversary to hang out with that bitch. I couldn't even imagine them together. It disgusted me.

"I'm sure this isn't fast"

He hissed, as I turned my head towards him, staring into his eyes with anger and frustration as he did the same, frowning.

"You're above 80 for fuck sake!"

I pointed towards his speed, hissing back as he clenched his jaw, still driving at the same speed.

"When are you gonna stop assuming that something is going on between Jenna and I?!"

Harry yelled, me startled as I froze in my seat only to see a huge truck roaming towards us, Harry's eyes locked on me instead of the road.


I screamed, my hands quickly covering my mouth, Harry panicking as he made a sharp turn, driving out of the road and down a steep hill, the car making several turns as we were pushed against broken windows and torn apart seats.

-flashback ends-

"Ms. Whales?"

Ms. Lohan observed my facial expression carefully, me jumping up as my daydreaming was interrupted.

This was my daily daydreaming. Every. Single. Day. I'm always bullied by those flashbacks.

A tear rolled down my cheek, me sniffling as I looked out of the window, the sun gazing down at me depressingly.

Looking back at Ms. Lohan, I gulped, blinking back the tears several times.

"I-I have to go"

I mumbled, grabbing my purse tightly as I got to my feet, trembling towards the door.

The accident gave me bruises and scars to keep forever, to punish me by reminding me about that day every time I walked, bent down or dragged my fingers upon them.

Approaching my car, tears threatened to spill as I quickly jumped in, slamming the door behind me.

Therapy didn't help me. It made it 1% easier to deal with the pain I had to go through every day.

"Why did you leave me, Harry?"

I sobbed into my weak hands, now crying unconditionally like clouds that were pouring out everything they possibly had.

It was so depressing how our last conversation was a serious argument. I was so stupid not to believe him.

From that day, id been punishing myself over and over again because of that by harshly scratching my bruises, creating open cuts every time just as they were about to heal.

Calming down, I stared at myself in the mirror, looking at my ugly depressed face. Dark circles, lips that were sewed only to pout and cheeks that were barely ever dry and smooth.

Wiping my wet cheeks with my fingers, I still wasn't able to wipe away everything as I had shed too many tears.

Starting the engine, the only thing that was alive now was the car, ready to take me away for the casual rides as usual.

Holding the steering wheel tightly, I roamed out of my parking spot, stopping behind a red traffic light as I stared into the blood red light, waiting impatiently to get home.

-flashback starts-

I screamed at the top of my lungs as Harry protectively held me to my seat, his arm getting crushed as my seat flew out of its screws, slamming against the 'airbag' harshly.

The airbag was bullshit. As soon as it popped like a balloon, I had no hope in it anymore.

My seat hit the roof of the car every time we made a spin, my head slamming onto it harder and harder each time.

Crying, I shoved away Harry's hand, not wanting it to be more injured as his eyes met mine, disappointingly.

Blood streamed down my forehead, pouring down my face and onto my shirt, making it bloody as Harry had several bruises on his arms.

With a splash, we were thrown into the water with the car, our doors locked and sealed as we both held our breath.

Struggling to keep my eyes open, I grabbed Harry by the collar, holding him towards myself protectively as he motioned towards my door.

Trying to use all my force, pushing water away to throw kicks at the door, I didn't have the force to do it.

-flashback ends-


My ears rung like church bells as I came back to reality, realizing that the traffic light had turned green.


I mumbled, putting my foot on the gas pedal, roaming away as the drivers behind me flipped me off with their middle fingers, me simply ignoring them as a new tear streamed down my face.




I stumbled into my house, kicking off my uncomfortable high heels, sighing loudly as I licked my lips.

I was exhausted.

Placing the car keys on the table, I felt a presence behind me, me gulping as I tried my best not to freak out. Taking quick heavy breaths, I swung on my heels, facing the stranger in my house.

My eyes were fixed on the stranger, me gulping as I started to shiver in fear and shock. My legs weakening, I stumbled back, taking more steps back as I observed the person.

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