Antics & Sue

Audra is a writer at a high point in her career when she gets very bad writers block. After her roommate, Kat, tells her of the theft of the Rosetta Stone and destruction of the New York Smithsonian, the two girls race off to New York because Audra believe it will help her writer's block. Antics ensue.

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1. Blocked

Looking down at the piece of paper on her desk, Audra waited for her brain to flood with ideas. She never had trouble coming up with stories but as of 5:37 am she was empty of ideas. Spinning around in her dilapidated chair, she looked at all the good reviews on her wall. Despite being an author for only about a year, she had gotten many good reviews and sold a couple thousand books. Sadly, at a high point of her career she had crippling writer’s block. “Ugh!” shouted Audra falling back onto her bed. She looked at her boring white ceiling as if it held all the answers in the world. Slowly, she felt herself drift into a peaceful sleep that forgot her current problems.
 Blinking into reality, she felt the mid-afternoon sun fill her vision. After lying in bed for a couple minutes longer, she sat up and looked over at her phone. In bright white numbers the time 12:11 pm shone out. Lethargically, Audra rolled out of bed and walked down stairs into her kitchen. Her roommate, Kat, was already awake and was sitting at the kitchen table flipping through Yahoo News.
 “Hey there sleeping beauty” said Kat sarcastically. Audra growled at her while she poured herself a cup of cold coffee and grabbed a donut. “Well then. Also I wanted to tell you something” said Kat. Audra sat at the table and, using all her strength, looked at Kat. “I know that you like to keep up with daily news, so I wanted to tell you that last night the Rosetta stone was stolen from a museum in New York. But that wasn’t the weird part. Apparently, all the dinosaur models and wax figures are all missing as well. Wait though it gets weirder. It looks like the glass cases that held the wax figures were smashed and the museum was left in ruin” said Kat. Audra’s head popped up like a piece of bread in a toaster.
 “Put a bra on we’re going to New York!” exclaimed Audra impulsively! Then before Kat could argue with her, Audra ran into her room and began ripping drawers out of her dresser and pouring them into a bag.
 After body slamming the bag five or six times, she managed to get the gargantuan bag closed. She picked up the Herculean bag and ran down the stairs surprisingly fast. “KAT ARE YOU READY YET?” shouted Audra obnoxiously. Kat petulantly stomped into the hallway where Audra was.
 “Are you serious? We’re really going through with this?” asked Kat shocked. Audra nodded while trying to shove the bag through the doorway. “One question. Why?” asked Kat walking up to her?
 “Welllllll I have horri-bad writer’s block and this is just the kind of thing I need to help me!” exclaimed Audra! Finally they managed to push the suitcase out of the door! Kat looked at Audra with a sarcastic and angry face.
 “I think that is the dumbest thing you have ever said to me. And once you asked me what my favorite color of the alphabet was” said Kat shaking her head in disappointment. Audra chuckled slightly at Kat’s joke before dragging her out the door.
 “COME IT’S TIME TO GO PRINCESS SASSITY! WE HAVE A FLIGHT IN ONE HOUR!” shouted Audra directly into Kat’s face. After wiping the drops of spit off her face, she motioned for Audra to lean in.
 “OK!” shouted Kat tired of Audra’s yelling. Then the two girls got Kat’s bag and left for the airport.
 It was a three-hour flight from their apartment in Boston to New York City, which gave Audra plenty of time to read up on the event.
 “Kat this is really weird” said Audra to her sleeping best friend. Kat mumbled a couple noises and Audra continued. “Apparently none of the alarms were tripped and half of the security guards were found dead, there blood sucked through two puncture wounds on the neck, and the other half is missing. Except, for one who discovered the whole gruesome scene. Weird right?” asked Audra. Most of the words Kat mumbled after that were gibberish except for a few.
 

“Yea… sure… I would love a blue octopus” murmured Kat. Audra glared venomously at the sleeping girl. Then she had an idea and her killer glare turned into an impish smile. She leaned close and licked the pale girl’s cheek causing Kat squeal in disgust! “Ew! Audra what the hell?” shouted Kat forgetting she was on an airplane. Audra put her fist of her chin and smiled smugly.
 “Ding” sang Audra. Kat just sighed and wiped the salvia off her face then returned to sleeping. Audra returned to looking at various news reports about the event.
 Finally, the plane landed and the two got off. After getting their bags and renting a car they drove to their hotel. The word "Oreguex" was written in bright shining letters above the hotel. When they walked in Kat was shocked by the quality of the hotel Audra had booked them. There were grandiose, ornate pillars lining the walkways, red and stainless carpets, and cherry wood counters with elaborate designs on them.
 “Wow Audra I am shocked! Normally, the hotels you book are ramshackle little rat holes but this is beautiful!” exclaimed Kat. Audra looked at Kat with a sardonic face.
 “Thanks I try” said Audra sarcastically. The lady at the counter chuckled at the girl’s conversation.
 “Hey sugars do you have a reservation?” asked the woman at the counter in a strong southern accent.
 “Yeah it should be under Audra Stryzeck” she said smiling. The lady began typing into the large desktop computer at the counter. While she was waiting, Audra took a better look at the woman. She had long, clearly dyed, platinum blonde hair, bright blue eyes, high cheekbones, pale skin and had bright red lipstick on. Due to the desk Audra was unable to tell if she was tall or short.
 “Ok I have it right here. Room 966 and if you need anything just call the front desk and ask for Christina D.” said the woman handing Audra a room key. Kat took it while Audra stared in fear at the woman. In the end, Kat dragged Audra off into the elevator.
 “9-9th floor” said Audra shaking in fear. Kat sighed and hugged Audra comfortingly.
 “It’s ok Audra. It’s a very sturdy hotel, now toughen up you big sissy!” said Kat bluntly. Both the girls broke into laughter and the girl’s joke. The two girls waited there for the elevator to move. Eventually they realized they weren’t moving and Audra began freaking out.
 “Oh my god it’s stuck! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! We’re going to die! Oh my god! We’re going to die before we even get into the room!” shouted Audra at the brink of tears. Kat stood silent before she chortled loudly. Audra looked at Kat with great disgust.
 “What?” shouted Audra insulted! Kat fell to her knees still in stitches about something. Kat weakly lifted her arm and pressed the 9th floor button.
 “W-we d-d-d-didn’t press the button” said Kat trying to hold back her laughter. Then both the girls could no longer control it and broke into uncontrollable and gleeful laughter! They laughed for a solid five minutes while the elevator went to the 9th floor. By the time it had arrived they had just finished laughing. They grabbed their bags and made their way down the serpentine hallway to room 66. When they opened the door the two 21 year old girls stared in awe at the beautiful room. The wallpaper was red with gold fleur-de-lis on them. The bed sheets were black and the carpet was red with black spades and very short and smooth fibers.
 “A-Audra I love you” said Kat with a breathy voice. But Audra was already rolling around on top of one of the beds. Audra giggled with bliss and giddy as she rolled around on the soft comforter. Kat giggled at her child like best friend. Then she flopped down on the bed across from Audra’s and felt a soothing wave of comfort sweep over.
 “Do we have to go to that boring museum?” asked Kat sighing euphorically. Audra suddenly sprung up and looked at Kat.
 “Lets go!” said Audra quickly dragging Kat out of the bed. Kat sighed as the brunette girl dragged her out of bed.
 Reluctantly, Kat went along with the blue-eyed girl’s impulsive decision. The two of them piled into the small, bright red, Mini Cooper they had rented and drove through the jam-packed streets of New York. All around them cars bustled left and right, shady characters walked in and out of dark alleyways, pieces of trash and filth were rocketed into the air by the oncoming traffic, and people curtly walked through the streets pretending they didn’t exist. Despite living in Boston for a long time, it was still quite overwhelming for Audra who was originally from Bristol, Rhode Island. Finally, they arrived at the museum in one piece.
 “Here it is! The New York Smithsonian! Wow it is so big!” exclaimed Audra! Kat tried to refrain a laugh but was unable to. Audra’s innuendo was just so there and funny she couldn’t control it. “Oh my god!” shouted Audra breaking into laughter!  She quickly swatted the dirty-minded Kat on the arm! “Now lets go!” exclaimed Audra dragging Kat up the multiple stairs.
 The two girls got to the top of staircase surprisingly fast, considering they were both wearing a good sized heels. When they got up there they saw that a police officer was standing in front of the door. Just as they were about to walk in, the officer put his arm out and stopped them.
 “Sorry ladies only officials allowed in here” said the officer in a deep voice. Before Audra could even realize what was going on, Kat quickly came up with a lie.
 “But we have to get in there! We’re reporters from the… Big… um…-“Cookies Press! And if we don’t get in there we will be fired! Please don’t you know what is like to have dreams but have everyone shoot you down?” pleaded Audra! Kat tried her best to look pitiful while trying to hold back laughter from the “Big Cookies” comment. Suddenly the police offer began to tear up and turned his head to the northeast.
 “Yes. I didn’t always want to be a police officer. Originally I wanted to sing soul music. I dreamt of being as big as Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye and Percy Sledge. But my dad said it was a foolish idea and signed me up for the police academy. Girls you go in and write that report! You still have a chance I don’t” said the officer turning back to the girls. The girls squealed a thank you as they ran inside. As they got farther into the main lobby, they saw how many police officers and detectives were in there and quickly ducked behind a large potted plant. Audra and Kat frantically looked around when Audra suddenly saw someone she thought she knew but couldn’t exactly tell where from.

~~“Hey Mcbutts we have found the security guard! But he locked himself in the curators office and we don’t have the key” shouted another police officer running up to the man. Suddenly, Audra realized where she knew him from and ran up to him.
 “Fan out we need to find that, wait who let you in here? Jenkins was watching the door. I am sorry we need to escort you out of here” said the man pointing to the door.
 “Wait! Isn’t your name Adam Mcbutts?” asked Audra quickly? Nervously, the man shook his head causing Audra to continue. “It’s me! Audra Stryzeck! I went to high school with you remember?” asked Audra trying to jog his memory. Suddenly, the slightly cold and tired looking face became a warm smile.
 “That’s right! Topless Turner! I remember now!” exclaimed Adam! Kat had just walked over after Adam had said Topless Turner.
 “Um… SIR?” Kat practically shouted. Both Adam and Audra broke out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
 “I called her that because” said Adam trying to control himself. “In high school she had a little too much to drink one time and well… she dance like Tina Turner. Topless” said Adam bluntly. Kat stared weirdly at the short girl next to her.
 “That’s why I don’t go to parties anymore. So Adam I see life has smiled upon you” said Audra smiling. Despite the man’s silly last name, she always did find the boy awful cute high school and the years have treated him divinely.
 “Haha, yeah. Also just call me Mcbutts I’m not used to being called by my first name and probably won’t respond” said Mcbutts. Audra and Kat nodded when two other detectives walked over. “So Audra and co. sorry, I didn’t catch your name, what are you guys doing here?” asked Mcbutts?
 “Well… I came here because I had really bad writers block and thought this really mysterious case would help spark my creativity. By the way her name is Kat, she’s my roommate and one of the few people willing to put up with my nonsense” said Audra laughing. The group of three broke into laughter while the other two detectives stood awkwardly.
 “Um… Sergeant Mcbutts… I would hate to interrupt but… um… we really need you down by the curator’s office” said the detective practically hiding behind the other detective.
 “Ok I will be there. Audra, Kat I would like to introduce you to detectives Magnet and Steel. I know this usually not done but with all the work to get done here and us, despite what you see, being short of staff we could use some help. Do you want to?” asked Mcbutts. Before Kat could even think about the question, Audra responded for both of them.
 “Yea sure! Kat let’s go!” exclaimed Audra running off! Then before Kat knew it Mcbutts was gone too it was only her, Magnet and Steel.
 “Now that my commanding officer is gone, hey there babe. What’s you sign?” asked the tall red headed detective, Magnet. Kat gave Magnet a sarcastic look before responding.
 “Octagonal” said Kat snarkily. Steel, the short, young looking, gray haired detective behind Magnet, tried to hold back a laugh. Magnet glared at him. Kat began walking towards the impatient Audra, but not before flashing a smile at steel, causing the chaste 19 year old to blush profusely.

 

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