Meltdown

--For the Inspired by a Song Contest--

Rin is at the meltdown point. Everything is far, far too much for her to bare. She must purge her past and move on.

--Inspired by the song Meltdown by Rin Kagamine, a VOCALOID. English Cover by JubyPhonic.

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1. Countdown

30 minutes until MELTDOWN
 
            Rin sat up immediately after waking, breathing heavily and clutching at the area above her heart. Her clothing was stuck to her, as she was sweating profusely. Her hair clumped at the back of her neck and rivulets of sweat ran their course down her face. She hardly remembered the dream she'd just had, but she knew that it had been terrible. It must have been, or she wouldn't have woken up in such a horrified state. She slowed her breathing and lay back down onto the now cold surface of her pillow.

            She closed her eyes and attempted to sleep. After ten minutes, she found that sleep had escaped her, at least temporarily. She got up, thinking it was a waste to sit on her bed if she was not going to sleep, and wandered to her bedroom window. She sat at the window seat below it and marveled at the sleeping world, so quiet yet somehow so boisterous. 


19 minutes, 35 seconds until MELTDOWN 

             Resting her head against the window frame, she smoothed out her hair, running her fingers through her blond locks. Goose bumps trailed across the skin that rested against the window. The glass was so cold; it chilled her to the bone. Her sapphire eyes studied the snowy streets and she sighed, smoothing out the wrinkles in her white night dress. It was just another bad dream. That was all it was. Nothing bad would happen to her. 

             She laid her head against the window, still staring out at the world and wondering about everything there was out there. While watching the world, however, she slowly, steadily, fell back to sleep. 

               Even as her consciousness left her, she felt that something bad might happen. Despite the feeling, she sank into the darkness of sleep, letting it embrace her wholeheartedly.

     
16 minutes, 46 seconds until MELTDOWN 

         When Rin next opened her eyes, she was straddling a young girl, her hands around the girl's neck in an attempt to suffocate her. What scared Rin the most about the scene, however, was the fact that she recognized the young girl; the girl was herself, although younger. She was trying to kill her childhood self, the past self that had shaped her and helped her become the person she now was, a person she had come to hate. What good was she now? She was a teenager with no ambition, depressed, cynical, and all due to the events of her childhood; those events that she’d never bothered to stop, nor think about after they happened. They formulated who she was now. This thought angered Rin greatly. Still, she kept calm, feeling that she must somehow let the girl live, or there would be severe consequences.

         She tried to remove her hands from the girl, tried to stop herself from hurting her, but there was nothing she could do. Her hands worked of their own accord and kept squeezing the girl's throat tighter and tighter. The girl was trying to speak, despite the fact that she was losing air, dying in the effort to say those words. Her mouth moved, but there was nothing audible emanating past her lips. 

       The girl’s actions fuelled a fire of rage within Rin, making her furious for reasons she could not discern. She couldn’t stop herself from wanting to extinguish the light in the girl’s eyes after that, and felt her hands squeeze the girl’s throat tighter. Still, the girl clung to life. "What are you saying?" She yelled at the girl, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes. "Tell me what you want to say!" 

   
12 minutes, 55 seconds until MELTDOWN 

         The girl kept trying to speak, finally whispering one word. Rin hardly heard it, at first, as she was sniffling and her tears of frustration were streaming down her face. The girl's face was getting blurry through Rin's tears, so she could hardly read her lips as she formed the word. 

"
I'm..."

        Rin shook the girl by the throat now, still trying to murder her, but at the same time, trying to get her to speak. “Tell me! Tell me now!" Rin was sobbing uncontrollably. What was wrong with her? Why did this younger version of herself make her feel so angry, so frustrated and sad? "Tell me, you stupid girl!"  

 
9 minutes, 5 seconds until MELTDOWN

           Finally, blessedly, Rin loosened her grip somehow, and the girl said the second word. 

  
"I'm...Sorry..."

            Rin stopped moving and stared at the girl, suddenly realizing the horrible act she was committing. She looked at her hands, horrified by the automatic actions her hands had begun. “You're...You're sorry? Why are you sorry? What did you do?" The girl said nothing, focusing only on breathing. Her eyes were rolling back in her head; she was beginning to lose consciousness. "No, no don't die! Don't go! I'm sorry! I didn't... I don't want you to-" Rin froze mid-sentence. 

            The girl was gone; not dead, just simply 
not there. There was nothing but empty air beneath Rin now. Her hands were squeezing at an intangible throat. She suddenly realized how sore her fingers were from squeezing so hard. Rin looked around in terror, her eyes darting around the area, trying to find the girl.

           She found her a few moments later. About thirty feet away, the girl was walking toward the edge of a large hole. Some prior knowledge in Rin's head told her what the hole was. It wasn't a hole at all, really. 

  It was a nuclear reactor. 

 
4 minutes, 2 seconds until MELTDOWN 

            Rin rose from the ground and stood unsteadily. She watched as her younger self slowly walked toward the nuclear reactor. She knew that the girl would pitch herself into the hole if Rin herself did not stop her. Rin began walking, shakily at first, but strengthening by the second. With her strength came the ability to run. 

            She ran towards the girl, her right arm outstretched. She kept screaming, "No! Don't do it! Don't do this!" It was odd, really. The girl she had been trying to kill was now the one she wanted to save with all her heart. 

              Although she was running—quickly, at that--it seemed like an eternity before she was anywhere near her younger self. All the while, her cries to stop fell on deaf ears. The girl continued walking, growing closer and closer to the edge. 


1 minutes, 3 seconds until MELTDOWN 

           Rin gained on the girl, finally, almost within reach of saving her. "Don't do this!" She screamed again. The girl still didn't listen. It was as if she was simply a shell of a person without an actual consciousness to inhabit her. 

          Rin realized that to save both herself, she must save this girl. This girl was her past, the thing most important to her and who she had become. Even if she didn’t like the reality of who she’d become, she had to save this girl at all costs. Even if it meant sacrificing herself. 


10 seconds until MELTDOWN 

          Rin reached out for the girl and grasped her hand tightly, beginning to pull the girl backwards, away from the reactor. 

9 seconds until MELTDOWN 

          The girl was flung back, far, far away from the hole. Far, far away from danger.

8 seconds until MELTDOWN 

            Rin, however, was still on her path toward the hole, on her way into it.

7 seconds until MELTDOWN

             Everything seemed to happen in slow motion; Rin looking back to see to it that her other self was safe; Rin stepping off the platform and into the hole; Rin falling down into the dark, sapphire, deathly place within the hole. 

6 seconds until MELTDOWN

              As she fell into the core, she thought back to her unhappiness and her life. How she never enjoyed anything and always seemed to think of everything cynically. 

5 seconds until MELTDOWN 

              How she never once thought about trying anything new. 

 4 seconds until MELTDOWN 

              The sun had always looked like a strange, puffy red eye, hadn't it? She realized that now. How strange that she had never wanted to study something she depended on for life.  

3 seconds until MELTDOWN 

              As her hair flew back behind her, the wind whistling loudly past her ears, and she approached the bubbling, cerulean core of the nuclear reactor, she had but one thought: I don't want to die

2 seconds until MELTDOWN 

               Her last words were not true words, but more of a screech of denial, a sound of wishing for another outcome and more time. 

1 second until MELTDOWN

I don't want to die. The thought screamed into the void by those whose end is inevitable. 

MELTDOWN 

                  For a moment, all she saw was blue, brilliant and clear as a summer's day. And then, everything went bright white, blinding and cleansing.

 

~~~~

 

                   Rin woke with a start, her head still pressed against the window pane, her hands folded neatly into her lap. She couldn't remember what she'd dreamed of. She only remembered a few things; she remembered the word meltdown, she remembered a young girl who looked so much like her--exactly like her, really--and she remembered the words, I don't want to die

                Rin rose from her position and stood, looking around her room. Her alarm clock read 6:45 AM. She smiled, unsure of why she was suddenly so happy. She stretched her arms out above her head and cracked her wrists. She wondered why her fingers felt so sore, as if they’d been squeezing something tightly for the longest time.

                She got dressed and ready for her day and went out to seek adventure. It felt like the right thing to do, for some reason. She wanted to do what she'd never done, find new things. And so she did.


         And she had never felt better.

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