Breaking Through

Sixteen-year-old Emma Marioni has to deal with the day-to-day issues of every teenager plus the complications of a disease. Struggling with commitment with boyfriends and broken friendships while her best friend Emily has it all. See how Emma "breaks through" to find her identity. © pips. Copyright 2014. All rights reserved.

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8. Chapter 8

***

The next day Emily was distant from the moment she saw me. I kept trying to reassure her that she would always be my best friend and that nothing could ever change that, but she insisted she was okay, even though I knew she wasn’t, and I dropped the subject for now. I got to my locker and found Tim waiting there for me already. He was leaning casually against my locker with a cute crooked smile that played on his lips. How I didn’t see how he was this hot before, I don’t even know.

“Miss Marioni.” He said seriously.

“Mr Tam.” I inclined my head. Oh course Tam wasn’t his real last name, Stevens was.

He laughed. “You’re so funny.”

He squeezed me tight and said he had to head off to class. I was so lucky to have him. But the only thing was, it didn’t really feel right. He felt a little too good for me. With this playing through my mind I wasn’t watching where I was going and I bumped into someone, my books and papers spilling onto the floor in a massive pile.

“Oh, I’m so sorry-“ I started looking down.

I looked up.

“Oh Alice!” She smiled and picked up my books for me.

“Here,” I muttered thanks, “Come on then missy we have a class to go to!” So Alice put her hand on the small of my back and led me to class. The good thing about Alice was that we had most classes together, and up till now I thought I didn’t have any friends in those classes because we weren’t friends. But now we were.

We walked into textiles class and sat at our usual seats in the back left corner. The teacher came in and marked the role and we got our half-made dresses out while she started on her own project. Alice and I chatted contently all through the lesson, and then we made plans to meet up after school again. Something I knew that if Emily found out about, she would be more than upset. But I was determined to keep it from her this time. We needed to get this project done and I didn’t need a jealous friend to distract me from my goals.

The rest of the day dragged by, and although school was meant to be the best time of your life, I found it unbearably boring at times.

So when the bell rang, for end of school, I waited for Alice to meet me by my locker, but hid when Emily walked past. The plan was to ride to my house, as it wasn’t that far away. When we got to my house we had a snack and then, surprisingly, we worked for 3 hours straight, completing our assignment. Afterwards we just had some girly time, talking and just sitting. Somehow Emily cropped up into our conversation and made it somewhat uncomfortable.

“So what’s with Emily at the moment? Have I done something to offend her or something? She seems kind of tense around me.” Alice enquired.

“Hmm. Well she kinda thinks you are going to ‘steal’ me as your best friend.”

“Hmm,” She said a little downheartedly.

“Don’t worry, things will sort themselves out, I’m sure.”

About an hour later she rode home and I was left sitting on my bed contemplating my whole situation. I was in a pickle. If it wasn't a boy, it was my friend and if it wasn’t my friend it was school or family. I never seemed to have everything be okay. I just wanted to sleep. So that’s what I did.

***

When Saturday finally rolled around I was in no mood to see or talk to anyone. I wanted to lounge around, watch movies and just ‘blob’ in general. It was tiring being a teenager. I invited my mum to join me but she said she had things to do. So I was left to my own devices, watching movies and reading all day, which was fine by me.

Only at dinnertime did my mum realise something was up. I quickly speared a carrot and muttered “Its just Emily. She thinks I’m trying to replace her. But there’s nothing you can do.” She pryed a little longer but gave up soon when she realised I would say no more. I slumped up to bed and fell asleep almost instantly, which was a first.

***

Monday came around. It was like this constant circle, where it took forever for the weekend to come around but when it did come it flashed by like the trees past your window when you’re in a car. It’s exhausting feeling so bad, I was so upset with the whole Emily issue it was affecting my whole demeanour, and it had only been a few days. Of course Tim noticed and he tried to cheer me up, but he tried to no avail. He got so clingy at one stage I flipped around, accidentally whacking him with my hair and I said, “Tim, I think we are going a little too fast. Maybe we need a break for the moment, so we can both cool down, okay?”

Shock registered on his face and he looked hurt, but he nodded his head anyway and said he better get going. This is what I did. I pushed away the people closest to me when I felt the most venerable. And by doing this I got more depressed than ever. Refusing to talk to anyone but Alice, I sulked and miserably watched the clock tick slowly by.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

It was this endless circle of unknowing, only stirring my head for when the bell rang. When I slouched to my locker for the millionth time that day, I saw the last person I felt like talking to waiting there for me.

“What do you want?” I said a little too rudely.

“I wanted just to say sorry for the way I’ve been acting. I understand that you just want to make new friends and that I’m being a little overprotective of you. I realise that you are not all mine and I have to share you. I’m not okay with that, but I’ll have to learn to. It’s unfair to you and Alice and I know how hard it has been for you to open up enough to make new friends. Can we still be besties?”

I leaped into her arms and we danced around for a bit and she said “So I’m forgiven?”

“Course, I couldn’t be upset with you for long, I mean look at that face!” she pouted at me.

I admit, I was an extremely forgiving person, and I thought it unfair to hold grudges. Sometimes the way I was could work in my favour; sometimes it worked the other way round. So off we went, friends again, arm in arm onto the bus and headed home.

As I walked through my front door I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Tim. He was the kind of boyfriend everyone needed. He was concerned about me. It was kind of unfair to him, me being with him. I wasn’t a nice person, he deserved better. So I told him we still needed time and he respected my decision.

The next day at school I avoided people in general. Although I had my friend back and it was all happy, I still didn’t want to talk to my group much. Tim in particular. So at lunch time Emily, Alice and I went to find our own spot and sat to talk. I felt tension between both of my friends, so I sat between them and started a conversation, hoping to take some stress away. It felt like they were kind of having a fight, over me, and I was the person standing in between the both of them having the rage thrown onto me before getting to the opposition. It will cool down, I told myself. Hopefully I was right.

***

The next day was a Wednesday. I felt I had pushed Tim away long enough. I texted him and told him to meet me at my locker in the morning. Sure enough, when I arrived, there he was, cute as anything waiting for me.

“Look, Tim. Before you interrupt I’d like to say something. The only reason I pushed you away and asked for some time was because I like you, a lot. But I will hurt you someday and I don’t want to be responsible for doing that to you Tim. You’re too good for me and deserve better. I did it because I cared too much for you.”

Tim sighed. “You’re so stubborn you know that? You don’t think I already knew that you would hurt me? I knew that, yet I still wanted to be with you. We are so good for each other. And I’m not nearly too good for you. If anything you deserve better. Truly I couldn’t care less if you hurt me. It would be a pleasure, knowing that you were the one person I really cared about. I’d know I gave it a shot, rather than letter you slip away from me, like I have let many opportunities slip away from me in the past. So when I asked you out after Sam had treated you like that, it was only because Sam threatened me, and I didn’t realise he would get to you before I did, and I wanted to have a chance with you before any other guy turned you into one of those girls who can’t trust. Please, if you are ready, I’d like you to be my girlfriend.”

I thought long and hard about this decision. He was such a genuine guy. And if he had gone to all that trouble to make up that big speech, I thought he deserved another chance.

*** © pips

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