Saving Ashton

Ashton Fletcher Irwin self harmed. He cut himself. He felt worthless and alone in this crazy, messed up world.

Brittany Nicole Mellinger self harmed. She cut her thighs and wrists. She felt worthless and alone in the messed up, crazy world.

When their paths cross, they'll learn that no, they're not alone in this world. And most importantly, they are NOT worthless.

*Lovelies, please please PLEASE do NOT try anything written in this book. Except… whale I'll let cha play Ninja. Mkay? I love you all too much to let you hurt yourselves.*

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1. Liar

Ashton's POV

"Ash, you okay?" Calum asked me at the dinner table.

"Oh. Yah. Fine, why?" I lied

"You're not eating." Luke reminded me

"Mates, he's probably just tired. Leave him alone." Michael advised. I silently thanked Michael.

"I'm just not hungry. I had a late lunch.…" I lied once again. "And I'm quite tired. I think I'm gonna head to my room…"

I got up from the table and walked to my room. I closed and locked the door before I made my way over to my bed.

Truth of the matter? I wasn't tired. I was hungry. I had no lunch.

But I couldn't tell the boys that. I sighed. "Why is life so difficult?" I thought

Sure, I'm in a band called 5 Seconds of Summer. And sure I'm famous. And millions of girls love me. But… who cares? When you can only hate yourself? And billions hate you, for no reason? What have I done? What did I do to them?

These thoughts swirled around in my mind. It was maddening. The thoughts were over taking. And it's not as if this was the only time, no. These thoughts were constantly taunting me.

I sighed for the umpteenth time and grabbed the only thing that helped me get out of this messed up living hell.

My razor.

Even though the pain only goes away for a few seconds, it was still worth it. Once the blade hits my skin, I go numb for a moment. Completely numb. And it's a surprisingly AMAZING feeling.

But then, reality comes and bites you in the ass. And where ever you cut yourself aches. The pain is terrible yet amazing at the sake time. It kills yet you feel like you deserve it.

My razor was demented. I tried to get the blade out without hurting my finger tips. There, now that is the worst place to get cut.

At least the blade was sticking out. I got the blade and cut through the skin on my wrists. My entire body went numb and it felt GOOOOOOD. The pain was great afterwards.

The pain came on as fast as lightning. I moaned and grabbed my wrist. "Applying pressure stops bleeding, so maybe it will stop the pain." I thought. Nope.

But I deserved it, so I left go of my wrist. It's funny, really. One of my biggest fears is breaking my wrists, yet I cut them always.

I sighed at my stupidity. My logic makes literally no sense.

I grabbed my sweatshirt. Yes, it was 83 degrees outside but we had the air conditioning on and it was a bit chilly. But a good chilly.

Oh for gosh's sake! It was for a damn cover-up. The boys couldn't know I cut and if it leaked out to the fans, I'm sure as hell would be ruined.

I put on my sweatshirt and laid down in my bed. Maybe a nap would be good for me.

But I really didn't care what was 'good for me.' All I need is to get out of this hell hole.

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