Blind Man's Bluff

A girl whose life is all colors, sight, and art, has her life turned upside down when she becomes blind.


2. Black


    I feel sore, oh that’s an understatement!   I feel terrible, especially my head.  It must be night time still, because my room is pitch black.  All I can remember is  the stars.  I stared up at them even as I fell.  I am guessing someone found me and carried me to my room.  I probably have a concussion with how bad my head hurts.


“Mom!   I think I  have a concussion, we should schedule a doctor appointment!”  I yelled, making my head ache even worse.  I hear a sob.  A sad sob that makes me frightened.  “Mom?  Why are you crying?”


“Honey, you don’t have a concussion.”  my mother said with a wavering voice.  


“Mom, what time is it?”  I say in a delayed voice, full of fright.


“It’s two o'clock, and we aren’t at home.  We are at the hospital, sweety,” she took a breath, “We found you by your telescope and took you-”  she couldn't continue and started to sob again.  I am frightened, I realize what happened, but it needs to be said for it to sink in.


“We took you to this hospital,” my father continued, “And- well the doctor can explain it better than I could.”  he stopped because he too can’t say it.  I know what it is, I do.


    Coming from a different direction, a mans voice starts.  “It’s very difficult to explain so I’ll put it in simple terms.  When you hit your head, you hit a very important part of the back of your brain.  It controls your vision.  The thing is, when it was hit, it damaged the path where electrodes would normally pass information.  This path can repair itself, but since this is a rare occurrence, we don’t have any way to help the path to be repaired.  From others who have had this problem, we found that it usually repairs in time, but not always successfully.  Sometimes like a broken bone without a splint, the path doesn’t heal correctly.  The percentage of people recovering successfully is around ten percent.  The people who have recovered fully, usually don’t see results till a few months and very few cases have recovered at the seven month mark.  Mam, I would expect that you’ll be blind for the rest of your life.


I don’t cry or do anything, my mind is blank.  


“Can-can you guys leave, I want to be alone.  I-if  you could, ah, just shut the door, please.”  I can hear the sound of their footsteps getting farther away, followed by a click.  I feel like I should cry, but I can’t.  No tears fill my eyes, my throat is tight, but no tears.  I can sense sadness, but yet don’t feel it.  The word echoes in my mind.  Blind.  I, me, am blind.  Yet again, it does not sink in.  The doctor didn’t even say it gently, he just threw it at me.  I finally use my hands to feel around, to try and picture what this room looks like.  


    I slowly move my hands on the smooth bed sheet.  White, it should be white.  I move my hands to the side and feel the metal framing of the bed, the color I think of is a tar-like black.  I grope at the sheet, trying to pull away what I can’t see.  I try to imagine what my hand looks like pulling away the sheet, it helps me with the task.  I feel for the edge of the bed.  My feet move from under the covers to the right side of the bed, then to the edge.  I let my feet sink down slowly, then I feel it, the ice-cold tiled surface.  


    A shiver goes through my body.  I shift each foot warily across the unexplored area.  I come to a wall, my hands go over the bumpy surface.  I feel upwards to the right, round, smooth, flat, it’s a clock.  “Well, it’s not like I use it.”  I do that sometimes, make jokes about bad situations.


    My fingers graze the wall and move all the way to the right.  A corner.  I move my hands to the left now.  I move my feet to keep up with my hand movements.  Sharp pain fills my index finger, I hit something.  More carefully I move my hands to investigate.  A window.  I feel the glass, warm from the sun.  I suddenly feel the urge to see, see what's out there.  I imagine grass and a garden, beautiful as ever.  My heart sinks and my throat tightens even more.  I close my eyes, though it doesn't matter.  To quickly I move my feet to the left.  I trip.  They collapse after hitting some kind of furniture.


    I fall with my legs, they fold beneath my body, my hands come to my face and I sob.  My whole world is gone, I can’t see anything!  I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING!  Why me, Why?  The tears fall hard, but my heart has fallen harder.  I scream in anguish!  It sounds ugly.  A gurgly mess of wretched sound.  I curl up into a ball and pull my self under the piece of furniture, a desk.  I sob, and sob, and sob, until I feel the sleep take me away.


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